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smcn

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#1 smcn

as someone currently going through non-acquisition-related restructure: it’s gonna suck, and giant bomb will not be immune to change.

above all, don’t expect anyone at gb to give any information or opinion on this stuff for a long time.

3 years ago

smcn

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#2 smcn

finally got around to reuploading my second and probably last level, backtracking: 23W-KDF-BHF

4 years ago

smcn

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#3 smcn

@sgtsphynx said:

@smcn said:

Who knows how many updates and comments. (Seriously, anybody know?)

Somewhere in the region of 459.

I just went ahead and did math just because I have nothing better to do.

Episode	Updates	Comments
1	27	75
2: Poor Parental Cabbage	30	140
3: Tears in the Rain	36	80
4: Takin' it to Harlem	27	49
5: End of the Tropes	34	39
Total	154	383

This is prior to this post, obviously.

Also--a day late because I didn't want to lock myself out for the finale--my earlier Soul Eater references panned out even better than I could have planned.

We're finally gonna see Rin's soul.

Loading Video...

I guess we know which character Hisao is.

9 years ago

smcn

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#4 Edited By smcn

This is it. The final update. But before we get to it, a little bit of behind the scenes trivia. To get the final image in this update (which you're no doubt scrolling down to as I write), I had to 100% the game. I thought I did that over the course of the feature. Unfortunately, that was somehow not the case. Turns out I forgot to nail Lilly's neutral ending until now. (It's exactly the same as her good ending; it just ends a little earlier.) So I essentially had to kill any chance Hisao had with Lilly before I could leave him with Rin. Consider that my gift to her.

I think sex with Babyface is punishment enough, Shizune. Harlem can attest to that.

[Has anybody caught the art teacher yet? Or the Nurse? Or Mut-] "I get it, Shicchan."

"She has me there. I HAVE always wanted to see Shicchan naked."

So naturally, the t....wait a second, this isn't right. Give me a second to sort things out.

No, seriously, the hell's going on? Did sex with Rin kill Babyface and send him to Scene Transition Heaven? I was kidding with that last ending!

Like her butt prints on the glass didn't do that already.

"I like to be wined and dined after I've been fucked."

"Try asking the other five girls you fucked."

You know, there are more efficient ways to cop a feel, Babyface.

"She knows how to make my nipples rock hard. Pisses her off every time."

"Not as much dick, though." "Yea, I....I, uh...."

Wasn't it raining one screenshot ago? Why isn't there a single cloud in the sky?

"You do realize that we're essentially swimming in flower jizz, right?" "I know! Isn't it amazing?"

Aquatic language, though? That is a universal constant.

The moment of truth. How will he handle it?

"Was it something YOU ate, or do I really taste like that down there?"

"Another bad ending?" "No. But it IS ending, Hisao."

"Why would I know that?" "W-" "Don't answer."

.........That's actually a good question. Has he cried anywhere in this feature?

"I HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOUR MISTAKES FOR THE REST OF MY L-"

"You really think he'd give you a venerial disease in your happy ending?" "Guess not."

Let's recap what just happened: Babyface just broke the fourth wall, calmed Rin about STDs, called her an idiot, and topped it all off with a kiss. (And Rin's vagina tastes like scared sea salt.) Can this possibly get any weirder?

Heart attacks! Yea, why not? Haven't one of THOSE in a while.

"I'll name it Numor." "We'll work on that."

Blood. It's blood. That's what hearts fill with.

"Couldn't handle my amazing tongue action, I see. Don't worry. Not many women can."

I want to correct him, but I don't know the actual word for what that is.

"Every last one landed straight in her now-scrunched-up face."

I'm only keeping this screenshot in so the next one doesn't sound so needlessly insensitive.

"Especially when you don't have any arms."

"THIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, G-MAN!? DID I FINALLY GET IT RIGHT!?"

"Call a doctor. There's something wrong with my face."

"Cupcake." "Really? We're closing the thread on that shitty joke?" "Of course not."

Loading Video...

And that's the Screenshot Ballad of Heartbreakin' Hisao Nakai. 6052 screenshots. Five months. Who knows how many updates and comments. (Seriously, anybody know?) But let's take a closer look at these stats, shall we?

Lilly

First up is Lilly, who I am now noticing is an exercise in efficiency. 1076 screenshots, with only six left over. All spread across 720 MB. Very nice. And the lowest number of Photoshops yet: 46. But don't get too excited. Remember: one ending, and half of Sugar Milk is just setting stuff up for future updates. Besides, the girl's only got 27 Misha heads. That just won't stand.

Shizune

How does it feel, Parents? How does it feel being this close to the much hated Sugartits? Anyway, the actual stats...aren't that far off from Lilly, honestly. 1195 screenshots, and only 8 left over, spread over 823 MB. 57 Photoshops, and 31 Misha heads. So only a modest improvement over the previous thread. That is about to change soon.

Emi

Remember her? I sure as hell don't. Look what we're dealing with, here. 1397 screenshots with 16 left over, spread over a whole gigabyte. That's twice as many left over from before! Photoshops rose modestly to 70, whereas the Misha heads rose to....109!? What!? 109 fucking Misha heads!? There's no way her route was that sexy! I refuse to believe it!

Hanako

So it was clear at this point that things were getting out of control. Fortunately, Harlem was kind enough to rein things in. Her thread is a noticeable step back with only 1096 screenshots to her name (although that came with 34 left over). Photoshops also fell to 61, and Misha heads came within a respectable range of 50. That is the proper amount of Misha. Top it all off with 763 MB, and....well, I think the results speak for themselves. (That's my way of saying she has my favorite thread.)

Rin

That said, Happy Ending's my favorite character in this whole feature, Harlem being a close second. And holy hell, does the former show. 1276 screenshots, with 24 left over for the end. (Fun little side-note: about 61 one of those are from the very brief Kenji arc. And that's not including our detour into The Answer.) And atop that we have...102 Photoshops? I WAS SO CLOSE! DAMN IT! And it's not like the other numbers are much better. It's only 1 GB (nothing special) and 18 Misha Heads (RIN DESERVES BETTER).

So with this lengthy feature finally wrapped up, only one question remains: what comes next? Well, I don't want to prematurely spoil anything...

...but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

9 years ago

smcn

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#5 Edited By smcn

This is it, guys.

Huh. I thought we were past sad introductions.

"To be fair, you never warned me against rationing all those oranges you gave me a while back. (Not that I was able to eat them...)"

Fuck you, man. I really like how she looks. I'm not even kidding; sadness aside, I really like how she looks.

The look that's really sad, but also makes you want to blow her.

"A china doll? You mean like Lilly was?" "....." "I'm always going to be your number two, aren't I?" "......I'm gonna do for you things I never did for Lilly."

".......Are you going to do those things SOON, Hisao?" "Yea, eventually. I'm just trying to adjust to this weird art."

"Please, no butt stuff. I don't think I'm ready."

"Not there, either. It feels like somebody jammed a hagfish in my pants."

"DEFINITELY NO BITING! I know you said that when y...Look, can we just stick to my vagina?"

"When I said 'blow me', I didn't literally mean blow on it." (Not that it comes across through the censor.)

"That 'women can have multiple orgasms' myth? Complete bullshit."

"This taste is going to linger in my mouth for weeks." "Lucky bastard."

No joke on this one. It's just too heartwarming to leave out.

Those last three words are throwing me for a loop (no pun intended). How often is this kid whipping it out?

DAMN YOU, NOMIYA! WHY MUST YOU HAUNT HIS ERECTIONS!?

"Look, it won't happen again. It'll be fine; I've been practicing on Emi." "Did you tell her?" "God, no." "I LOVE YOU."

PISS OFF, IWANAKO. THIS KID'S GETTING LAID!

"On my stomach. Draw a little heart pattern with it, if you can."

Without any upward motion. Or inward motion. He's basically pressing his dick onto her pelvis.

"But she said no on the anal, so I guess it's just regular sex for us."

"It's a good thing I never called you Needle Dick, huh?"

"OK, you guys, you can wrap this up any time, now."

"Is this what sex is?" "You mean you didn't know this whole time?"

"I've been in and out for most of this. Kind of like you, now that I think about it."

I thought Rin was supposed to be the space-y one. (Or maybe this is evidence that the writers don't speak English as their first language.)

Because Shizune burst in with a flashbang and blew both their stupid brains out. The end.

I HAVE TO MIX THINGS UP!

9 years ago

smcn

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#6 Edited By smcn

You know, the way Nomiya stormed off yesterday, I'm actually kind of worri--

...uh......I'm...sure she'll be fine.

I know this is sad as all hell, but it's one hell of a scene. I'm not editing this shit out.

NONE OF IT. Not even the clumsy similes.

"So I'm just gonna sit back and just appreciate this powerful bond I have with Rin."

"This doodle of Yuuko as a plant would not have existed without your inspiration."

OH DEAR GOD, NOT NEWTON!.............OK, who the fuck is Newton?

Like Planet Laika without all the scary rape-y parts.

"You were talking about Newton and horse dogs and it was all really confusing."

"Cupcake. It's cupcake. It's like a cupcake."

http://youtu.be/V7zgT_eioHI (God, I wish I was kidding.)

Like what Rin's looking at just outside this screenshot.

"And you think you'll be able to sleep in here?" ".......You've got a point."

"Hey, Philemon. Mind leaving my girl alone?"

"Act 4, Rin. We've passed this." "It's all been like one long day for me. Cut me some slack."

"Two hours in, and I'm passed out in a puddle of my own shame and body fluids."

"I can remember it like it was yesterday. 'Yea, sure, I can chug an entire keg of vodka in under an hour.'"

"I was vomiting out of holes I didn't know I had."

This kid's ass is on fire! But only in half-ass shifts.

"Say it with me now: Rin." "Miki." "LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP."

"So I see you've tried that asparagus dip I got you."

PARITY'S BACK, BITCHES! (I know this doesn't sound important, but for being her theme, I haven't heard it at all throughout her route.)

"Look, if you're that worried about Hanako, we'll start with oral. I'll be super quiet; I promise."

Loading Video...

9 years ago

smcn

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#7 Edited By smcn

We're now firmly on the path to a Happy Ending, but we still can't get there without someone being extremely shitty to Rin.

You have until the first screenshot to guess who.

I guess we know who bought Fetus in a Jar.

DREAMIN'! Don't give it up Luffy, FETUS!

"Of course, the dozen or so empties littered on the floor spoil their secrecy. That's why I put the last part in quotes."

Very poorly, given how fucking obvious this location was. (It's her home room.)

"Alright, magical Velvet Room powers. Time to work your magic."

"I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM THIS TIME!"

"Wait, you didn't wash your hands since that night?" "Uh-" "And you pushed me away with those hands when I came into your room!? Do you know how close I was to kissing my own pussy?"

("A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I had to waste it.")

And by rare, he means "for half this feature."

"I know you can. You're looking right at it."

"I mean, what kind of sick, heartless bastards would do that to a little girl? And on her birthday, too?" "Shhhhh, it's OK, Rin. The watermelon-flavored popsicles can't hurt you anymore."

"WHY!?" "ONCE IN A FUCKING LIFETIME, HISAO. ONCE IN A GODDAMN LIFETIME."

"Does THIS answer your question?" "Oh my god, is that what I looked like? My hair looks so ridiculous!"

"Because you could accomplish just as much with a short skirt and a windy day."

"I don't know. That bird you drew was pr-" "THAT BIRD WAS HORSE SHIT."

That's because Nomiya's on the other side. That's less a joke and more a statement of fact.

You're sending her in there alone to face Nomiya? Let's watch as his plan horrifically backfires.

"And you can't spell thorny without horny! Get the drift?"

Mind pointing toward a single good time, Mr. Foot Fetish?

"I don't think my life would be that different if I DID listen to your advice."

Wow, way to win Shittiest Character in the Game, Nomiya. Not even Jigoro was this bad......Wait....did I just genuinely compliment Jigoro!?

THAT'S his excitement? I wouldn't want to see his anger, then.

And so Nomiya ghosts his way out of this thread once and for all. Let us all rejoice.

That's probably because you don't have much to apologize for.

"I don't think it was a good idea to let him go like that. You know somebody's going to die because of this."

I guess the timeline is so fucked that we're doomed to repeat all the plot points in this route. Hope you liked those gallery chats!

I first read that as "standing pointedly on her toes", like she was insulting him while standing on her tippy toes.

"This statement is going to backfire on me like you wouldn't believe."

Oh.....That's.....I'm not even sure how to describe it.

[I taught myself sign language. For you.]

And just for the record, it was Sae who bought the jarred fetus. Not Luffy.....yet.

9 years ago

smcn

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#8 Edited By smcn

New day, new update. Needless to say, the events of yesterday's update confused Hisao to no end. "Half of that stuff never happened", he says. "In fact, I'm absolutely certain that library part never happened. What kind of asshole would I have to be to tell Yuuko to kill herself? And how were those loving moments? Rin wasn't there for half of them, and when she was, I was just insulting h-"

"Listen here, you little shit! Do you think I'm running a fucking charity!? I've got a job to do, and I don't need some nosy little brat tel-"

Elizabeth cuts in and explains things. "Hisao's been part of a screenshot Let's Play the entire time. (It's essentially scrapbooking for the Internet.) The reason he hasn't been able to understand Rin is because she's been breaking the fourth wall the whole time." But her master has something that will put them both on the same level.

"What? Oh, fine. I bestow upon you the ultimate power of the universe itself. Killed the last unlucky bastard I gave it to, but maybe you'll do better."

Now he can break the fourth wall just like her. One Philemon ride later...

And we're back at the choice that drove them apart. How will Babyface handle it?

Don't get too excited. He's almost literally being told what the right answer is.

"It fucking better b-wait, wasn't I going off to college a minute ago?"

"Jesus Christ! Are you STILL hung up on trying to destroy yourself?!"

"Third or fourth fucking time this has happened! When will people learn to stay out of my goddamn way!?"

"So I traveled to an interdimensional elevator just to get the same ending as last time? Man, what a fucking rip-off."

"Far, FAR away from this foot fetish fuck."

"It's surprisingly easy to bludgeon somebody to death with a dildo."

I don't think jazz hands can save anybody from Nomiya's wrath.

Nomiya followed her into the bathroom, but not to watch her pee.

"We?".....I hope to high shit that means Emi and Hisao.

The kind who will beat the shit out of her best friend for being a minute late to lunch.

"Hey, geezer. Mind if I borrow one of your dildos?"

"I never knew you could jam a dildo so far into a person's body. Not sexually, mind you. I was just surprised at how easily you can use one to stab somebody."

Or maybe she has a dildo lodged in her brain.

"Has your voice ALWAYS been so pineapple?"

"May I have nothing more to do with you for the rest of this feature."

A roundabout way of saying Misha's absent.

FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT.

"You get the top half, and I get the bottom. Agreed?" "Agreed."

"Before Nomiya breaks out Ol' Bald 'n Beautiful?"

He could be describing anything with a vagina. Not just women; anything with a vagina.

"Guess I'm the Space Pope. And also a lizard."

Good to see he's been completely wrong about Rin this entire time.

"Child's play? How many children have YOU seen have severe psychological breakdowns?" "Twenty n-don't try to change the subject on me!"

Actually, that sounds like a perfectly valid excuse not to work in a porno that could destroy your life.

"The slowly spreading stain on the front of his pants announces as much."

"You did? Speak up, boy! Where'd she run off to?"

Yea, that sounds like Rin, alright. Having absolutely no clue where she is and everything.

Loading Video...

It's at this point--with less than a week left in the feature and after her final appearance--that I realized I never gave Sae a voice. How about...

9 years ago

smcn

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#9 Edited By smcn

Part 6: Operation Rinfall

OK, so you're probably wondering what random plot element I've pulled out of my ass this time. Well, it turns out...

Like the G-Man, our Velvet Room companions have decided to let Hisao work things out for himself along most of his journey. But this time, they can't just sit back and watch. He's almost reached the end of his journey. He mustn't lose hope when the end is in sight. Igor then shows him everything he'd be giving up if he just stopped here.