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If the Giantbomb quest system was designed by...


I would have the following dialogue options:

  • [Renegade+10] Punch Jeff for insinuating that I've to work for my rewards
  • [Renegade+5] Intimidate Jeff by telling him that withholding rewards can be bad for his health
  • I don't have time for this...
  • Tell me more about this quest...
  • [Paragon+5] Sweet talk Jeff into giving me extra xp for no good reason
  • [Paragon+10] Complete the quest promptly while also posting hints for others

*All wiki pages are now fully voiced by the Giantbomb crew.

GSC Gameworld (the S.T.A.L.K.E.R guys)

After visiting the quest log, I would

  • Kill Dave for introducing me to the quest system
  • Complete the quest and then kill Dave for extra xp
  • Browse all day for the answers, get lost in the giant database and then come back to kill Dave
  • Try to complete the quest and get betrayed/ambushed by Dave. Obviously, I'd have to kill Dave in this scenario too.

*The entire site is now available only in the brown shade and requires the flashlight page to be open at all times for proper viewing.

From Software

  • Users have 30 mins to complete all quests. Failure to do so redirects users to the Death page and halves the screensize.
  • Users can leave sticky notes on top of each page to help others with their quest.
  • In the ultimate invasion of privacy, you can now watch glimpses of what others are browsing.

*Visiting the Death page results in loss of all wiki points and user levels.

Square Enix

  • Clicking on any link might direct you to the Vanille page.
  • Once you arrive on a quest related page, you're automatically put on a guided tour of the site.
  • Upon restarting GB in a new tab, you'll be given two options: Press X to continue the tour or close the browser.

*Giantbomb is now available in fuchsia, cyan and lime themes. Also, the "bomb" now sports a zipper.


Upon receiving a quest, users have the option to:

  • Try to complete the quest by clicking on links but fail due to the janky code
  • Continuously refresh the "Jump" page to increase level
  • Turn into a vampire by visiting the vampire page
  • Contribute to the Horse Armor page for +100 XP & a slightly prettier load screen.

*Clicking on any wiki page now automatically plays Morrowind's theme song.

Valve or Blizzard

Still in development.

I totally did this for the blog quest.