Well after a big hiatus due to university work, I'm back playing temporarily. Luckily, Red Dead Redemption had a 3x EXP Weekend so I was able to finish boosting to level 5 legendary. So now I am the proud owner of my very own zebra donkey! Ridden no less by a gun totin' granny! The first thing I did with this hilarious combo? Turned into the ultimate jerk and galloped around with my buffalo rifle blasting noobs' faces off! I guess the whole "Top rank in a multiplayer for the first time" thing has gone to my head haha...
But yeah, super fast and super cool. Doesn't look as epic as the super bull or the testes on Bonzo, but it's so damn fast that I couldn't care. And there's something special about a gun wielding granny - does anyone else get turned on when she silently slides her blade into some poor kid? Kinky! ; )
And don't forget to recommend my Bulletstorm review! I only need one more recommend until I get the quest! : )
You may have read my previous blog post about my Legendary level 5 grinding attempts over the Red Dead Redemption 4th of July 4X experience weekend. Today I hit level 4 legendary and unlocked the super bull. Then I powered on through to level 30 of level 5 legendary, only 20 away from the coveted zebra donkey. My pain (and seriously, PAIN from my sore hands!!!) and misery would soon be over!! And then the unthinkable happened...
I took a break, came back and tried to load the multiplayer. EVERY TIME I PRESS (X) THE LOADING SCREEN F*CKING FREEZES MY XBOX!!!!!!!! WHYY???????!!!!!! I rebooted everything several times, deleted the cache, everything! I even left the game out of the console for a couple of hours and NOTHING! Same thing happens over and over and over and over! Everything has been working fine, and then BAM! My boosting efforts are cut short!
I looked on Rockstar's website and they say it could be caused by my NAT type. 1) It hasn't been a problem until now, 2) I've experienced the times when it kicks me out due to not being able to connect, and not ONCE has it completely FROZEN everything, and 3) I've already tried to open my NAT type and ports etc, but it never worked! So am I just never going to be able to play RDR ever again, let alone get the zebra donkey I've spend like 40 hours in 3 days to get???!
F. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
I'm currently trying to get to Level 5 legendary status on Red Dead Redemption's mutliplayer, with help from the 4th of July 4X Experience weekend bonus. In one day I've gone from normal level 21 to "prestige" level 1's level 44 by completing Pike's Basin over and over and over again. I can go up about 20 levels in a couple of hours when I hit around level 20, but even so, it's still painful.
There's so much grinding I thought I was in a nightclub with a bunch of fat chicks. And to get the most points you have to do it solo - I can do Pike's Basin for nearly 8000 points in about 6:30 minutes. I played a bit yesterday in public free roam and each play through took about 3-4 minutes, even with 6-8 people, and because the score was more spread out, I'd only get about 4000 points. So suffice to say, it's better doing it solo. And yet that makes it even more boring.
Surely there must be a better way to level up quickly?? I want that damn zebra!! I really hate grinding, but Red Dead is definitely one of those games where I want most of the unlocks, like the mounts and the granny you get. I think by the time the weekend ends I should be at least Legendary level 3, if not nearly 4. Annoyingly Halo Reach is also doing a 30,000 jackpot weekend, but other than inclement weather in Reach, there is little I wish to unlock.
Then that machine certainly created Crysis 2. Let me list all the terrible things about this game - all in CAPS because it will infer I am angry and loud and that my point will be read as if being said in a loud angry, obnoxious tone of voice. And haters be hatin' but on my nerves they ain't grating...
1) THE WRITING IS SO DAMN SMALL!!! IT'S LIKE DEAD RISING ALL OVER AGAIN!!!
2) BORING, GENERIC FPS GAMEPLAY!!!
3) OFTEN-TREADED, SIMPLE AND BORING STORYLINE!!!
4) TERRIBLY SIMPLE AND RETARDED AI ENEMIES!!!
5) TERRIBLE GUN HANDLING AND WEAPON PLAY!!!
6) HORRIBLE LEVEL DESIGN!!!
7) THE. MULTIPLAYER!!!
So after about a month of trying to get into a game of Crysis 2 online multiplayer, I finally managed to get into one. Not the new recruits section, but the normal playlist because that was the only one with lobbies.
What followed was probably the worst muliplayer experience of my life. Ever. I'll create you a log of my time - briefly edited so that it doesn't take up the entire blog entry...
"Oh yes! Finally a game!! This is SOOO exciting!!!" REALLY LOUD INTRODUCTION MUSIC *Turns down music volume in settings* EXTRA LONG LOAD TIME
*SPAWNS* "Wow, look at this vibrant beautiful world to explore! Let me explore the choke points, the sniping areas, the variations in terrain!" *DOESN'T FIND ANY*
*DIES* "Ow! Haha, nevermind, I just began, I'll get the hang of this..." *SPAWNS* *DIES* "Wow, that was fast! I guess the guy WAS a level 48 and had waay better guns than me!"
*SPAWNS* *DIES* "Okay... Am I using a pea-shooter or something?? Does EVERYONE have a better gun than me and super abilities??"
*SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* *SPAWNS* *DIES* "F*CK YOU YOU F*CKING PIECE OF SH*T GAME!!! GEZUZ KRIST MOTHERF*CKER!!!! LET ME F*CKING LIVE MORE THAN 5 GADAMM SECONDS BEFORE KILLING ME!!!"
*Gets a kill on another hapless noob who has wandered into the game. He promptly quits*
*DEFEAT*
This continues on for the next two hours. Each game I get about 3 kills. Now I bet you're thinking "Oh it's obvious this guy is just a retarded dumbass noob who can't play the game and that if something is too hard he just writes hate blogs about it on GiantBomb and now I'm going to go on about how much he sucks". This is not the case.
I played the Crysis 2 multiplayer BETA. I got the top of the leaderboards a few times and always brought in around 8-12 kills every match. The BETA was good because the level cap was 5 (from memory - unless I'm mistake) and everyone had more or less the same weapons. However, now that the retail game is out and the multiplayer is so bad, only the hardcore fans are playing it.
Therefore everyone is a higher level, has better equipment and the game is very inhospitable for it. It's just turned into a huge melee fest! Why EVEN HAVE GUNS FFS!!! With my entry level pea shooter assault rifle I was shooting these assh*les and they'd just walk up to me and whack me a couple of times. Even though they were in cloak and should've been blinded! I literally shot and shot and shot and melee'd and nothing happened.
This would be annoying, but generally acceptable if one of two things happened - neither of which did. 1) You spawned with your team FFS!!!! It was MW2 all over again - my team would be in a group, I'd spawn far away, IN AMONGST LIKE 5 ENEMIES and then promptly die. This would happen all game. Or 2) You got experience for completing games! I won a game with my team and I got zero points?! I just got spawn killed and raped over and over and over and over and over and over and over for 10 minutes for nothing?? Just so I can see myself shooting the same level 40's and 50's and yet still dying over and over and over and over and over on my Death Cam???? Or if I get one kill I'm about 0.000000001% closer to getting any weapons or abilities that might be able to help me GET a kill against these tool up assh*les??
So I got to level 5. I endured 3 hours of pain and frustration of people finding me while I was cloaked, while I could never see anyone. Or dying within 1 second of being shot, even with armour on. Or having a sniper rifle without any places to snipe without molestation on about 90% of the maps. Or shooting someone in the head, them not dying, them turning around an killing me. Again and again and again and again. So after all that, I went and played Peggle. And I was happy.
I've got one game to buy and the three above are my final choices. I'm keen to buy all of them eventually, but probably not for ages. I loved the first Portal, and I love shooters. But I'm also keen to get in on some of the new stuff LA Noire supposedly brings. Basically I like all games except for fighting games - so I'm easy. In the future I'm definitely going be buying Skyrim and Rage. And the new Battlefield game. And of course BioShock Infinite! And Gears 3... Basically I'm a terrible combination of genes - mad about games, only enough money to buy one, terrible at making decisions.
So, which do you think is best? Which would you recommend? Which would you buy? Which do you prefer? Which do you like most? How many ways can I phrase the same question? ; )
So this dude I've played with on Gears of War for ages decided he'd play on the other team for once. I literally destroyed him with my chainsaw and he began acting like a little beotch, first blocking communications, muting me then deleting me, before finally lancering me down every single game after that (we were playing with mutual friends). Honestly, how annoying is that? I didn't glitch him, didn't do anything horrible to him like a smoke tag, nor did I FORCE him to go on the other side, and instead of taking it like a man, he turns into a complete a-hole. I honestly just cannot get mad at Gears of War. I play it for fun and I play it to be social. I certainly don't do what he did, so it's just so very alien to me how he reacted.
Anyone here react a little big more immaturely to losing a game? Anyone had this happen to them as often as it seems to happen to me?
Battlefield Bad Company 2 can go suck my motherfucking balls. The game used to be my favourite multiplayer game on the Xbox 360, but now with all the bugs and glitches I want to use it as a frisbee. The sound cuts out, the stats don't fucking work, lag, fucking knifing sucks... AND NOW THIS! I buy the Onslaught and SPECACT DLC on sale from the marketplace. I load it. I begin to play it. And then I FUCKING WASTE 5 HOURS OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I start playing and use the fucking SA guns, which btw are completely fucking shit, I get the fucking pins because they show up at the end of the game. Had to work very hard to get the fucking pins too! So I go to my stats, at first it does the usual shit of "You have 0 kills, never used this gun, 0 points, level 1... etc" so I reload the game.
FINALLY my stats come up, but there ARE NO FUCKING SPECACT PINS OR AWARDS AND IT DOESN'T EVEN SAY I USED THE FUCKING SA GUNS!!!!!!!! So I keep fucking going and rechecking. Now it WON'T EVER FUCKING SHOW MY STATS!!!! And although Onslaught is cool, it hasn't even registered my fucking scores in the leaderboards!!! NO FUCKING ACHIEVEMENTS!!! NO FUCKING ANYTHING!!!!!
NOW CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON BEFORE I TAKE THE DISC, FLY TO WHICHEVER SHITHOLE STUDIO MADE IT, LUBE IT UP AND INSERT IT IN SOME LARD ASSES FUCKING PIMPLY ANUS BEFORE TAKING A SAMURAI SWORD AND SLICING HIS HEAD OFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING RUINED MY GAME EVER SINCE THE VIETNAM UPDATE CAME OUT, THEY HAVEN'T FUCKING FIXED IT AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP!!!! I WANT ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM SOON!!! WASN'T FUCKING 500 MSP ON THIS STUPID DLC WHICH DOESN'T EVEN WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh. Jack Marston just does NOT cut it after finally completing the Red Dead Redemption storyline. John looked handsome, had great voice acting, was believable, and was just plain awesome. Jack on the other hand? His voice sounds like a cat having its balls ripped off combined with a chalkboard being scratched by a thousand finger nails and an inebriated pelican. He looks like a dope with his stupid moustache and shoulder-length, straight, girl-hair. It's just not the same. Why John?! Why!? Why did you have to die!!?
It actually BUGS me that Jack has all the same stats that John does - JOHN was the legendary hunter and marksman, NOT you Jack! How dare you try to ASSUME his identity like you could actually FILL his boots you impotent child! I actually would rather do all the 100% again than have Jack sully John's name. I mean, I wouldn't want some snotty brat going round cashing in on my achievements! So yes, I'm not a happy camper after John's death, but I'll trudge on. At least I now have Undead Nightmare to look forward to where I will be reunited once again with my beloved John. *Swoon*
I'm now considering actually taking this game RPG stylez with Jack turning bad after being warped from his father's death and having gotten a taste for revenge on Edgar Ross. Going round, slaughtering people. Pillaging. The usual. And with those Social Club challenges I've been unlocking, I guess it will be fun. I wish they'd put out more - like SWAP BACK TO JOHN AT ANY TIME!
On another note, I put my review of Bulletstorm up - read it to see how the game faired in my good books! LINK HERE!
I have found my groove with the Halo Reach Forge system! Finally I can stop being the mockery of my friends and actually make some good maps! I used to be the best map maker amongst my friends in Halo 3, but since the Forge controls changed, I became disheartened. Now however, I have created my MASTERPIECE!!! It took me about 24 hours straight (yes, no sleep basically!!) but it's finally here! Probably the best map I've ever made, at least of its type.
I got the idea from the old Bumper Car maps from Halo 3. I made a few simply Bumper car maps back then which were enjoyable - they're a bit different now since 0% damage modifiers now no longer allow you to splatter players (!). However, the idea grew on me that I wanted a really complicated bumper car map where players had to have driving skill as well as the ability to knock off other players, creating some interesting scenarios. So I drew out all my plans, and just started creating! A day later, here I am!
So there's 5 distinct areas - the bottom level which is easy to drive on, you can spawn there, but there's multiple entrances, harder to defend and the only exits are to the harder areas. It's also more boring, so give/take.
The next level is the middle ring level where it's hard to drive on but harder to get to, thus a player who can stay there will do for a long time. You spawn there and it exits to the top level.
The top level is difficult to drive on because of its uneven surfaces, but it allows you to exit to several areas. Revenants spawn there also, so it's worth reaching for the better vehicles. Two entrances in, but several exits means that players will be unlikely to spend a lot of time there.
The next level is easy to reach, but hard to handle. It's a land mine maze with a ramp of falling fusion coils, which players must navigate in order to reach the teleporters out, Donkey Kong styles. It's hard to drive through, especially with another player on your tail, but it's pretty fun and if you make it to the top you can watch other die around you.
The final level is the pyramid, an eery monolith where there's little terrain, but steep slopes which will be hard to get up from if you fall too far. There's two entrances and only one exit, so it's a perfect dueling area for the macho man inside you, and easy to defend since the entrances allow you to see competitors a while away.
So yes, I'm pretty happy with my effort and wanted to share them with you! If you visit Bungie.net it's in my file share (or search the file area for the tags "The Spawn Man" and "Sea Bash", the name of the map) so please try it out! I might even try to suit it for King of the Hill or a Race type of game too, so keep your eyes peeled for version 2.0! It's so great to be finding my groove again and making new, awesome maps!!! YAY!!!
Well I've been glued to my screen over the last few days. My local electronics store was having a sale and quite a few Xbox 360 games were going for cheap. Unfortunately, the only games which I was interested in were Army of Two and Need For Speed: Undercover. So far I'm pretty happy with them both, although I'll have to admit, EA makes pretty average games - I don't think I've ever been blown away by an EA as I have consistently from the likes of 2K, Bethseda and the like.
Army of Two is good so far. The combat is a bit sparse compared to other games, and indeed a bit repetitive, but the great allied AI and interesting combat options make it worth the while. A bit reminiscent of games such as Time Crisis or those old shooters you might find in an arcade, due to the outlandish evil masterminds and enemies. This is both a blessing and a curse.
NFS:Undercover is a bit more disappointing as yet. Having played Need For Speed: Most Wanted to death, I have to say that Undercover feels a bit more like the less-awesome, more streamlined retarded brother. It's still a great game, at least until I buy NFS: Hot Pursuit, but yes, I expect a lot more considering it is several games since Most Wanted. The good parts however do include a much better driving system, but this is offset by the terrible/unoriginal plot and boring police chases.
Even with all these new games, I still managed to pry myself away from the Xbox screen to another - I got dragged to see The Black Swan today by my mother. Ungh! A film on ballet dancing? Wow, you just redefined my definition of BORING. HOWEVER! I was pleasantly surprised. I mean, to tell the truth, it's easily the bloodiest movie I've seen all year. AND I got to see that chick from That 70's Show and Natalie Portman DATY, or clean the carpets, or however you put it - yes, probably the best piece of cinema I've witnessed in a while. Boy, they sure do know how to make a film for both guys AND girls! Phew! So, if you're a guy and you have a girlfriend, allow yourself to experience one of those few times when you can enter into a win-win situation with her, and take her to see The Black Swan. Seriously... You won't be disappointed. *Huge grin*
Log in to comment