1970's Ranked

It's everyone's favorite decade for video games, the 1970s

List items

  • There are a billion bad versions of Lunar Lander. I think I literally made one IRL in a high school game design class. But that first one? Fuuuuck yeah

  • I don't want to, you know, get like TOO real on here, but I remember playing a straight up busted version of Breakout on my parents' flip phones as a kid. I would beg them, "please, I need more of the Breakout" and they would tell me "NO, no more breakout while we're at this Pizza Hut." I'm an adult now, and I can play Breakout whenever I want, even if I'm at a Pizza Hut

  • You can shoot the asteroids - but - why. With what limited time you have, why shoot the asteroids? You could die out there, shooting those asteroids

  • If Sheriff would have been present for literally any climactic scene in any Red Dead game, things would have turned out MUCH differently for our favorite cowboy heroes

  • Do the space invaders move faster because they are determined or because they are afraid to die?

  • I guess Night Driver is like, SUPER dark, I mean, it's a game where, with NO context at all, you turn off your headlights late at night and drive as fast as you can into oncoming traffic. But also..........NIGHT DRIVER

  • What possibly could have motivated these MANIACS not to include Ping in their Ping Pong game??????? Ping is the best part

  • In Outlaw, a cactus can stop a bullet, and it can do so forever

  • Gotta give big ups to Adventure. You gotta because of The Bird. The Bird will find you, and The Bird will eat you, and The Bird will fly you away if you do not give the big ups to it

  • Galaxian is more or less a more colorful Space Invaders ripoff. Kinda shameless, maybe, but in a different light...it's like your cool older sister's version of Space Invaders. Or something

  • What if it started with miniature golf? Like, what if mini golf was what golf was, and someone said hey you know what, we should make a more adult golf? So they make Large Golf. There are life-sized T-Rex models, you have to hit the ball over actual windmills and make it through tiny holes in robots hundreds of yards away. Tell me that isn't the better timeline

  • Not the worst idea for a game. These rectangles are tanks and gotta shoot each other. These other rectangles are planes, they also gotta shoot each other. Go for it, man. Combat

  • Wait. Is this the first.......video game......hyphen??? Ever????

  • Street Racer is impossible, but I will say it's for sure a video game. Were the developers genuinely trying to evoke such old-timey cars? They always looked to me like...rally cars, or something. Wild

  • Truly what is going on with the cops 'n robbers part? Like what the fuck do you mean? Is one person the cop and the other person the robber? It's just a maze, and you can't catch anyone. The mazes also are not good. They are bad mazes. I am not in a craze about them one way or the other

  • Here are the rules of Canyon Bomber. You have a big yellow plane and a button. When you hammer your button your big yellow plane births a square from its undercarriage. You are a mother now, but you do not love. Your newborn square careens downward through many rectangles until it lands with a thud in the canyon below. This makes your number go up. The game is over once all natural resources have been plundered via your squares. You can now compare your number with the other number, if you have a friend and they are playing Canyon Bomber with you. But what did you win? What did anyone win?

  • The poor son of a bitch on this cover art. No one hits the target when they play Human Cannonball. He's got no safety net. He's done for