1983 Ranked

Is every single main character on this list.......a huge doofus?

List items

  • Every day Tapper's life is his worst day ever. The customers are violent and hamjammered out of their brains, screaming for more drinks. He's getting threats from people that they're gonna throw him across the bar. Tapper's crying, slapping drink after drink at psychopaths. What a hard life

  • What if we got to space for the first time and there was just ZX Spectrum graphics. The only alien life out there is squares that fly around. It would ruin Star Wars

  • The Food Fight kid likes regular food in the way that Hannibal Lector likes human flesh. I'm not going to call it sexual, but to say it flat out ISN'T sexual severely misrepresents the situation

  • Buried beneath the cultural influence of their hyperbolic bourgeois siblings, the default bros' sewage toil will forever remain an obscurity

  • The title of Punch-Out!! is a museum-quality exhibition which displays the joy of inessential syntax. The hyphen implies that it is not called Punch Out simply because the player can expect to punch one out, but also because a Punch-Out is its own unique phenomena. And the additional exclamation point signifying the reckless, spirited nature of the contest...this is a true beauty

  • Nintendo lost their FUCKING marbles. Who the fuck is Stanley??? What is he doing to Donkey Kong with that syringe??? The wikipedia for this game says Stanley is a "bugman" what the fuck is a bugman????

  • Don't you just hate the Dragon's Lair guy? What a dingus

  • The first game to accurately capture that pulse pounding aspect of spywork we've all fantasized about...being an elevator passenger

  • I dream of a world in which all cops are the Keystone Kapers cop

  • Sinistar is the star of the show here. Who cares who you are or why you're fighting Sinistar. You hear Sinistar introduce himself, and you KNOW he's gotta go

  • UUGgghh the name of this game. I don't even want to talk about it. Bleck

  • Their first album was amazing, but they just haven't been able to pick it up since Alice Glass left

  • Lunar Jetman explodes with the energy of a moonwalk in a 2D space you can't really move so good in