Ranking of Fighters
This is amateur science; please feel free to disregard.
List items
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One time I let Gon's cinematic play for almost an hour to see if it ever stopped
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This was the first 2D fighter I ever played because the arcade near my house had it. I was 8 or 9 years old. Because of this, there was a period of my life in which I was more familiar with the character Nakoruru from Samurai ShoDown than with RYU from that other game. It was a match to remember
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People forget about the song "Indestructible" and how it was the first thing you heard when you booted up this game and I find that fact VERY. UP. SETTING
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Best
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Almost best
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THE CAST OF TEKKEN FIGHT SATAN TO REVIVE THE WUBBY HEART AND BASS-THUMPING SOUL OF DUBSTEP
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HEIHACHI MISHIMA
IS
DEAD
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In this episode of King of Fighters, Gerard Way joins the fray! It's a cliche Way-fray today!
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They remade the levels from Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures
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If one were to rank the Terry Bogards, this game's Terry Bogard would rank very high
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Everyone is really mean to each other in this game! Also there's a lizard boy everyone beats up and Skrillex wrote a song in his honor
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Zangief: "This game is so ALPHA its alpha THREE TIMES shoutout to BRUCIE, hell yeah let's go BOWLING bro"
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In this Episode of King of Fighters, everyone gets in a big Slugfest! Actually, do King of Fighters characters really SLUG one another? I don't think I've ever seen, like, Iori SLUG Benimaru. It's more accurate to say that they anime each other TO THE DEATH
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Sure, the SF crew may animate like you're watching a GIF through dialup internet, but have you HEARD that Red Cyclone remix?
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"So your idea for the boss fight is...you fight a big hand."
"Yes. But there are, uh, two hands? And they're different? They're way different."
"So what's this other hand's deal?"
"It's, uh...crazy! It's real crazy!"
"How is it crazy?"
"It...it...does this! *clumps hand on table and waggles*"
"I love it. Approved."
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Gotta go fast
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Imagine being a child in Brazil. You're at the arcade. "Oh wow! All these countries have their own fighter! That guy has TWO American flag tattoos. Who do I get as a fighter? I never see my home country represented in video games! Will they be very cool? Oh! Here's - oh. A hideous green monster man who eats wood and has extremely large chest hair"
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Spider-Man + Mega Man forever <3
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Did you know? Jax actually only hurt ONE of this arms in combat, but he got both replaced with the same rock 'em sock 'em robot arm to save the developers some money
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The character designer of Soulcalibur is........reaaaally into leather
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This game had a plot. Towards the end of it, a Pokemon finds Solid Snake hiding under a cardboard box and then they become friends
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I am ALSO trying to make my skill ultimate!!!! >:[
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I am going to take you for a ride
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There was a fighting game buried somewhere in this visual novel
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A contender for happiest fighting game. I think everybody deserves a chance to play Power Stone. The world would be a better place
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Of all the pre-MVC crossover games, this is the only one that logistically makes sense in my head
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I am not very good at fighting games and lose interest the more complicated they get. This is a more complicated version of a game I like a lot. Therefore, it is less good!
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Young Heihachi is the Crystal Pepsi of Heihachis. I mean that in every way you would expect
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So, I actually think if you AREN'T mashing in UMVC3, you're the one doing it wrong
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Still can't believe the concept of the KOMBAT KIDS got a pass, but it was all worth it for cassie cage's xray move
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In this Tekken, the cast gets inappropriately wasted at a shopping mall and fist fight one another. I'm only partially joking! Later, they go to the airport
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Who added a cop to my mortal kombat, and why do I like him so much?
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Soulcalibur II is an elaborate prank on the Xbox
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I would rather this game was just a fun bro date between Ryu and Terry. They'd take a walk in the park and talk about how wearing headbands feels different than wearing baseball caps. Ryu would fall down and Terry would ask, in a panic, 'arrre you okayyyy???"
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In this King of Fighters episode, Shermie introduces a cast already filled to the forehead with bangs to the least useful haircut imaginable to have in a fight!
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In this King of Fighters episode, Benimaru completes the worlds first ever 900 degree spin on a skateboard! And he shreds out a sick riff on his flying V while he does it!
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I actually didn't realize Samus was a woman until I played this game and saw the electrocution animation. I was six or something
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It doesn't seem like it, but this game is so happy. One of the most posi-vibe fighters out there. Look at this brave little dude on the box. He's having a great time
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I want to live in the background of this game and ceaselessly pump my fists while Terry Bogard screams
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This one's essentially missing ending cinematics. So it's like Tekken, except without that really fun part that everyone loves!
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No one likes Goro. If you removed Goro from all future MK games, or even retroactively from this one, no one would be upset. Get outta here, Goro
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classic flavor
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In this half-step upgraded Genesis version, Bison's got ENORMOUS blue hands. Look at those big blue bear paws
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In all the cover art to every Dragon Ball thing ever made Goku is so pissed and his antagonists are smiling like they just intentionally let one rip in the elevator
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In this episode, Kyo yet again fails to justify wearing a white bandanna with that outfit
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In this King of Fighters episode, everyone hangs out in cliques like it's high school! The Americans are the jocks. Everyone else is the goth kids
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It's like those other ones, except this time everything feels and sounds uncomfortable!
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This game is fun for exactly as long as the super moves feel novel
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The cast in the first two Tekken games look and are proportioned like - and I mean this as literally as possible - Barbie dolls. But THIS one has a JACKIE CHAN
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TEK KENNNNN
tek kennnn
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This game is less polished than professor xavier's shiny head. you could fry an egg on that guy. and then eat it with wolverine's claws
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This crossover battle is SO disturbing, that all characters involved forget how to murder and instead creep around each other in circles, maintaining eye contact the whole time
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This match up seems...unbalanced
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The fact that Lilith is a prominent character in this series freaks me out!
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I've only played one Virtua Fighter, even though I've owned three different games. I tried, but...is the Virtua Fighter cast really this generic? Experiencing game is like watching a bunch of Street Fighter cosplayers put on a fake tournament, except, also, it's not at all like that. Anyway, I played this for like an hour
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This game's protagonists are Trendy Gamers. One of them can apparate hateful Tetris blocks into existence. which can kill you
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I've played exactly one match of this game. It was at PAX, and I did it so I could see if Ezio was Ezio without all the sprintrunning and hopclimbing. Turns out? He's Ezio all the time, everywhere
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This game is essentially a series of sick, yet over-elaborate fighting animations stapled onto an unfinished fighting game. It feels like the move set was inspired by mashing action figures together (i like this, to be clear)
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I rented BlazBlue when it was still possible to do that in a brick and mortar store. I booted it up once, and it was...so much. It was all so much
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Your favorite 3D fighting game, but this time, it's free!***
***you pay for every fight!
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This game, which is just rotten with moon-gravity boob physics and also Darth Vader, is the fighting game equivalent of a creepy dorm room!
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The problem with OG Star Wars in a fighting game context is that Darth Vader vs. Thok the Gammorean Guard is not, like, a compelling battle of epic proportions
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The 90's were a weird time for everybody
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This game's cover art makes it look like Wolverine released the debut album by his nu-metal band, Nemesis
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That's right! I think wrestling games are fighting games! But I also don't like wrestling and therefore have only one game to place on this list! So this rebellion was real short lived, now wasn't it???
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This scrappy smartphone port lets you simulate playing Street Fighter 4 if you were drunk and your hands were slippery
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This game is.........muddy? This game is a person I don't want to hang out with but I do anyway because I feel obligated somehow
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Double Dragon's competitive multiplayer mode almost works!
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This game's multiplayer was exclusive to the Wii version of this game, and therefore required the wii remote, everyone's favorite fighting peripheral
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In this game, Jedi can get caught in the ceiling and be stuck there forever, spouting catchphrases with the same enthusiasm that I had when I worked at a pretzel stand for a living
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For a game this outrageously frustrating to play, it sure is hilarious to look at
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This is a smartphone game ported to arcade machines, which is how I played it. In the arcade version, you smash on either one button or another button until superman falls down, and then the machine spits a card out at you, and challenges you - defies you, even - to slide that card back into it
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When movies are very bad, witnessing the disaster is fun. When video games are a disaster, taking part in the disaster is significantly not that
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