Today I experienced my first post war flashback. No, I'm not a veteran and lord knows I don't want to diminish the horrors that many of our brave soldiers were forced to endure overseas by claiming this particular issue even approaches the same level of emotional debilitation. I am in fact referring to the long term side effects of my dutiful stint on Modern Warfare 2, which most of my friends had unanimously established as the exclusive social platform for months and months on end.

You see, I had just finished the incredibly satisfying single player campaign of Crysis 2, and after pondering whether or not I was going to delve into the multiplayer feature, my residual need to don the nano-suit prompted me to jack in. Ten minutes into the first deathmatch and I was yelling "oh come on, what the fuck!!??" at the screen and clenching my controller with rage, and then it hit me: "No... not again...  I do not have it within me to relive the countless hours and hours of packing on class features and unlocking weapons just so a bunch of petulant kids can pick me off either immediately after I spawn or after ten minutes of trying to strategically position myself at a vantage point (some would call this camping). I just don't have it in me. I'm a 33 year old grown man who is three ribeye steaks and cup of coffee away from having a stroke. This is dangerous territory.

If Modern Warfare 2 taught me anything is that ultimate satisfaction is an elusive, downright unattainable goal. Unfortunately that logic only seems to chime in between sessions. When you are in the shit and riding a steady flow of adrenaline you are not prone to calmly justify every instance where some bastard is gleefully teabagging your freshly strewn corpse. The blood boils, the indignation flares, and veins bulge. An especially bad run results in something getting smashed, and I have even been known to punch myself in the face repeatedly just to avoid causing property damage. I'm not exactly Wolverine, but I heal faster than the screen of a high definition plasma T.V.

Some of you may be thinking that I just have an anger management problem, but honestly; how many of you are able maintain zen-like qualities when it seems no matter how skilled you seem to get, a 13 year old named IFUCKEDyerMOMMA is just around the corner primed to damage your dignity in a virtual realm. Except when you're psyche is displaced in said realm for multiple hours a day, one could suffer a similar psychosis as Bob Arctor from "A Scanner Darkly". Is it me or am I the avatar? I can't tell anymore. Either way, blood pressure is steadily increasing.

Nothing compares to the visceral thrill of acing it; I mean those periods when you are taking out multiple enemies with great ease, racking up stats, and getting accolades from your teammates, but for me those periods are too far and in between to justify the investment this very popular feature of gaming requires. What I would like to see is more games that rely entirely on a team effort. Left 4 Dead 1 & 2 are a fine example of the kind of multiplayer I could play endlessly because  my fragile hubris is far more immune to failure when its not "us" against an actual "them". If we can't make it through this horde to the shopping mall alive this time, well that's okay team, we'll do it next time! This is far more palatable then when you get to hear your enemy repeatedly remind you that he just shot you in the head. In addition, he is going to fuck your mother.

Anyhoo, that is my rant for today, and it was not intended to educate or enlighten. I am simply announcing that while I am an avid gamer, my experimentation with these types of shooters in multiplayer mode has reached a conclusion. In the words of the great Danny Glover as stated in just about every installment of Lethal Weapon: "I'm getting too old for this shit."

This entry will be short and sweet, as it is simply meant to initialize what will be a blog dedicated to my experiences and observations as a rather insightful gamer. I already have one of these damned things dedicated to film and comics, which may cross over into these particular musings now and again, but I will try to keep things relevant to what this very fine site exists to celebrate.

I'm sure the more followers I get, the more frequently I will offer my perspective, which I suspect will draw the attention of trolls and wankers.  If I'm really focused I may even strike a chord or two with the kids, and if I am on the top of my game I will suck up the spotlight like a supermassive black hole.

That is all for now. Carry on.