I haven't yet had my fricking coffee.
 
The thought is supposed to urge me to get up and down the stairs but today it doesn't hit home. Nothing seems to the last couple of days, everything feels a bit down and dark. I blame that bad romance, I blame my girlish giddy desire for what turned out to be a bad guy again. So back to my first love I go. Fingers typing on automatic and I'm three clicks away from a virtual escape. But do I want to? The thought suddenly hits me and I'm not so sure my escape is as close as it seemed just seconds ago. I'm getting older, I realize as I spend too much time thinking over the implications of virtual escape, a thing I never before attributed to myself but now it seems to be pretty fitting, is this what they mean by it? Nah, I won't go that far and place myself in that corner but I do know I am lucky to know my passions. To know which things keep my mind sane and busy, not worried with what others think or do with their own lives.
 
I can fully understand people having an interest in what keeps others busy, I do as well to an extent, but there's this fine line of curiosity and the cat being killed by it. To know things is fine, to try and understand people and their motives is a very informative experience but I've learned there's not always a reason for everything. There can't be, we don't work that way. Sometimes people hurt us and do it for no good reason, or none we are perhaps willing to accept. Can we live with that? I know its hard for me, I seem to have grown expectations of always getting a reason for actions. Should I blame books or games for that? A lot of created universes are perfect, offering insights into the motives of the bad guy, lifting the veil of mystery that makes (or breaks) gods and not to mention the reason that little nobody from a farm town decided to save the world. Games work crazy like that because we like to understand things, gain a grasp and explain others how we experienced it or how all of those things lead to something awesome. Don't we all want something awesome, or at least fulfilling, to happen? It is that reason that pulls me to games as much as it pushes me away. But this goes as well for series and books too, reasons why (or lack of, like the Joker is evident of) often define characters and their ideals.
 
So there's that, and I realize half the day is already gone. I still have things that need doing, which range from fixing my tire, preparing my story for NaNoWriMo and jumping into a siege from the ramparts of my realm's fort in Guild Wars 2. Activities I all look forward to so I better get to them.
 
This might be my shortest serious blog ever.