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Ten Characters I Hate To Lose To

Everybody has a bunch of characters they hate, and losing to those characters, especially again and again, brings forth nerdrage of epic proportions. I mean just look around the rage that surrounded Street Fighter IV's boss character, Seth. The internet burned for months, and some parts of it are still quietly smouldering away with a burning hot anger.

So I bring you my personal top ten of characters I simply hate to be beaten by. Losing to these characters make my blood boil, my nerd rage, and my feet itch. Yeah I don't know about that last one either.

#10: Yun and/or Yang (Street Fighter 3, Street Fighter Alpha 3):

Smug son-of-a...
Smug son-of-a...
There's just something about losing to one of these skateboarding, baseball-cap wearing, emo-haired teenagers that makes me want to just quit. Their movesets are awkward and difficulty to adjust to, they are fast as well as hard-hitting, and like any characters you'll see on this list, have an overbearing air of smugness about them that just serves to make you angry.

#9: Sheva Alomar(Resident Evil 5):

Ok, so she's not actually your opponent. But at one specific point in the game, she might as well be for all the help she isn't giving you. During the Jill/Wesker fight, on higher difficulties, she is so eager to follow you through the door Wesker kicks you through that she gets herself instantly killed by Wesker almost every single time. And on the rare occasion she doesn't, she will walk right into jill and get destroyed instead. Lovely. Essentialy tis extends to all AI controlled helpers doing stupid things, but even though overall she's one of the best, this particular incident offered me more frustration than any other AI helper i've ever encountered.

#8: The Cyberdemon (Doom):

I ain't fighting that! I quit!
I ain't fighting that! I quit!
Like any good frustration factory, The Cyberdemon takes a long, long time to put down. Unfortunately you see no breaks until he is finally dead, which means until that glorious moment when he explodes in a shower of metal shards, blood and guts, the fight can turn bad in an instant. Even on lower difficulties, take one single hit dead on and that's it, you better kiss each and every part of your body goodbye, because they are all going to be travelling in different directions. 

#7: E.Honda (Street Fighter IV):

The only reason this cheesemonger isn't higher (lower?) on the list, is because I like him, and he lacks that permeating air of smugness other characters have which makes them so infurating. So, what makes this guy so bad then? I'll tell you. The Sumo Splash, or Butt Stomp if you will. I'm a big supporter of finding a way around things instead of complaining about them like a scrub, but this baby gets spammed more than the Shoryuken, the Hadouken, the Wall Dive and the Lariet combined. I played a guy this afternoon for example, who did not use one single move other than the Sumo Splash. Not one. After a long and hard fought match, I eventually lost, against any other character I would have congratulated him and moved on. But losing to te Butt Stomp simply because it flies about like a drunken spitfire? I know I need to learn to anticipate and block cross-ups better, but fuck if i'm not entitled to be very, very angry about it. Especially as the move is almost risk free against my Main, Balrog, at least it seems to be, my uppercut seems to either lose or trade, jumping doesn't seem to work, and my headbutt only serves to escape not punish. 

#6: Matador (Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne):

This guy stopped my progress in it's tracks completely the first two times I attempted to play Nocturne. Both times, well above the average level for that part of the game, with a well trained team and after the lesson I learned the first time, no weaknesses ot force. But he still doesn't go down easy, part of the reason characters like this are so frustrating is because they take so fucking long to beat down, only to gain access to a super powerful move within the last 10% or so of their health. So the moment it looks like you might be getting close to beating tem... BAAM!! You eat some pretentiously named, hyper-damaging and usually sparkly attack, leaving you shitting in your pants, if you aren't already dead that is. This could have been Sephiroth for much the same reasons, but that's far too obvious.

#5: Propane (Various):

I'll do it, don't mess with me man, i'll really do it!
I'll do it, don't mess with me man, i'll really do it!
Propane Gas, Gasoline, Petrol, Hydrogen, almost any gas or liquid that can be ignited has appeared in at least one videogame hiding in a barrel, glass chamber, or canister, and that's fine. Without exploding barrels we wouldn't have half the kill counts we do nowadays. However, sometimes, just sometimes, you as a player are forced to hide behind one of these excitably dangerous cretins, and when the AI decides to stop slapping it's knee and going "Yu-Huk" you better break out the marsmallows boy because you are toast. That's fine once or twice, but some games are repeat offenders, and in those instances, you just want to give the level designer a piece of your mind. Preferably strapped to a large bomb.

#4: Andore (Final Fight):

Andore is not just one character, but a whole slack-jawed, 8 foot tall family. After knocking you on your feet and not even flinching from your attacks, after a long and bloody brawl you finally defeat Andore JR only to discover not only does he have about 42 brothers who want your guts for a skipping rope, but 87 uncles and about a million cousins too. Everywhere you go you will have to fight this humongous slab, and each and every time they will knock you on your feet, grab you and slam you into the ground, jump on your spine, and laugh every single time. The only other characters to ever frustrate me in a beat'em up as much as these guys were the Stage 1 bosses in Streets of Rage, but there were only two of those, so these guys take the #4 spot.

#3: The Devil (Guitar Hero 3):

The Devil, Beelzebub, Lucifer. He appears in many games under many different guises, but none of them have beaten me quite so often, nor as conclusively as in Guitar Hero 3. Whoever thought boss battles in a rythm game were a good idea needs a harsh punishment, but whoever dreamt up this satanic fiddle-fuck needs to be hung, drawn, and quartered. With astounding regularity he will beat you, beat you, and beat you again. Never letting up, never giving you one single chance to recover or even catch your breath. Smiliing, laughing and dancing as his freakish, 18 fingered hands shred you into oblivion. That's just bullshit.

#2: Seth (Street Fighter IV):

Naked? How insulting.
Naked? How insulting.
The only reason this guy doesn't take the number one spot, is because he hasn't been around as long, and everything he does is ripped from another character. At least the next guy on the list beats you with his own moves. Seth, Seth, Seth. The internet went absolutely ballistic with cries of terror, pain and anger when people started hitting the almost literal brick wall that is Seth. Seemingly ignorant of whatever difficulty you have the game set to, he will begin to smack you around, often with your own moves, laughing and taunting all the way until you finally prize the first round from his iron grasp, only to find that he was simply toying with you. In the second round he begins teleporting all over the place, grabs which register almost instantly after his teleport, 3 Shoryukens in a row, stretchy limbs, insane laughter, and a penchant for taunting you wit focus attacks. If that wasn't enough to burst a blood vessel, the bastard is naked...

#1: M.Bison (Vega)(Street Fighter Series):

This pose just says it all really.
This pose just says it all really.
Our good old friendly supervillinous dictator. Due to the international name change he underwent (originally Vega) he is often simply called, Dictator. He takes smugness to a level even Seth couldn't reach with every ounce of persistance in his naked body. Like the psycho power he so confidently wields, smugness just oozes from him, leaking from ever pore as he cackles maniacly, hopping around crossing you up with his knee, throwing out scissor kicks, demon hand reversals and head stomps from almost complete safety behind his iron defense, literally folding his arms at times to taunt you. In fact, his focus attack in SFIV seems almost like a taunt, folding his arms and laughing before clapping his hands together for large amounts of damage. Not just in SFIV, but in every game he has ever appeared in, nothing makes me angrier than losing to this obnoxious, murderous, giant shoulder-pad-wearing monster. Nothing. His massive, massive grin in Street Fighter IV only makes matters worse. It's Nerd Rage Time.

Edit: PHEW!!! Holy shit what a scare. Chrome crashed on me but, oddly, didn't shut down. Lucky star be praised.

Also, Urien gets an honorary mention just for being such a smug son of a bitch, and for having an unblockable combo.