Okay, okay, so I can't really say this is something "new" but it's something I've seen quite a bit at E3 this year, and it has left me scratching my head. What is it, you ask? Stupid names for games. Yeah. Seriously. In fact, these aren't just outright bad names, these are stupid names for many respectable franchises. Maybe some of you noticed, maybe some of you missed it. The purpose of the blog is to point out some of the worst ones and for all of us to collectively say, "DUDE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days - Let's start this off with one very anticipated game for the Nintendo DS. There are a whole lot of Square Enix fans out there that go nuts over anything Final Fantasy, which includes its collaboration with Disney in the Kingdom Hearts series. Look, I can't say I'm a fan of the series myself, and although I only spent a few hours with Kingdom Hearts 2, I found it to be vastly overrated. But hey, that's besides the point. Forgive me for using the opportunity to plug my own game impressions, alright? Let's get onto the topic at hand here - the name. First of all, how the heck do you even say that? Three-hundred and fifty-eight over 2 days? Three-hundred and fifty-eight divided by 2 days? I don't know. Neither really rolls off the tongue. Surely you were as puzzled as I was upon first seeing it. I guess someone on the Square Enix staff has officially announced the pronounciation. The accurate way of saying the title is Kingdom Hearts: Three-Five-Eight Days Over Two. Dude, Square... you can't be serious. I've been playing games for quite some time, and I believe I can truly say that this is probably the worst game title I have EVER come across. From now on, expect gamers to simply refer to this game as Kingdom Hearts DS. Unless of course, Square is planning a DS sequel, because that could totally screw even that up. Until then, I'm going to try not to have nightmares about a possible Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days 2 (In other words, Kingdom Hearts: Three-Five-Eight Days Over Two Two). I think my friend had the right idea when he asked me why they didn't just call it Kingdom Hearts: 179 Days? Dude, I’m so with you on that one.

Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story - Here’s another game title I have a problem with. This is the name of the third installment of the Mario and Luigi series, and its coming to the Nintendo DS. I fully support the idea of giving Bowser a more prominent role in a game. Afterall, I like the guy. But is this really the best they could come up with? It sounds like a bad tabloid headline! Additionally, Nintendo built up this game during their E3 press conference as if Bowser was going to be the game’s main character, but then his significance ends up being reduced to a lousy subtitle. I can understand him not getting top-billing, but Mario’s greatest villain deserves better than this.

Metroid: Other M - Was anyone else as shocked and amazed as I was when this was revealed at the end of Nintendo’s press conference this year? I totally wasn’t expecting a new Metroid, and dude, the fact that Nintendo is working on it with Team Ninja, the creators of Ninja Gaiden, it all has me really stoked. Just when I had pretty much given up all hope for the Wii, we all are introduced to a totally new Metroid game. I can’t say I’m a crazy huge fan of the Metroid series as a whole, but I think Metroid Prime is hands-down one of the best games I have ever played, and as far as I’m concerned, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is the finest gaming the Wii has to offer. Considering that, it’s a little surprising to me that Nintendo would hand the reigns over to a different company, but I suppose they’re putting Retro Studios to work on the revival of some other big franchise. Anyway, so this new Metroid trailer nears its end, only to reveal that the game is named Metroid: Other M. Instantly I thought the name was pretty darn weak. Sure, I don’t know what it means, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pretty dumb subtitle. I think I got a better name for it. How about Metroid: Other Name, Please!? On the bright side, considering Team Ninja is at work on this one, I think it’s safe to say we’ll be seeing the return of Samus in a bikini.

M.A.G.: Massive Action Game - Alright, so this one isn’t exactly new. While I thought it was impressive seeing 256 players all playing online at once with a stable connection, personally I have no interest in the game. The gameplay looks a little too deep and involved for my taste. My problem with the name of this game is what MAG actually stands for. Massive Action Game. Yeah, I understand, it’s huge. However, I don’t think that’s a legitimate reason to give it this name. So apparently it’s the first of its kind. Whatever. Clearly no effort was put into the name of this game, and I’m positive they could have come up with something much better.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii - I’m gonna keep this one short. Putting the words “New” at the front of a game is generally pretty stupid. A year or two from now, the game isn’t going to be very new at all, despite what the title says. Would anyone have been opposed to calling it or the DS version simply Super Mario Bros. 4? To be honest, I’d be completely thrilled about it. Heck, man, I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed for a Super Mario Bros. 4 for years! Oh well, I guess I’ll have to settle with this. It seems abundantly clear that Nintendo was too afraid people would see a name like Super Mario Bros. 4 and think it was an old game, so instead they ditched the numbers altogether and slapped “New” on the title. Pretty lame.

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Okay, so now that I’ve covered the main ones, I’m just gonna name a few quick honorable mentions. Let me make it clear that even though I’ve mostly listed Nintendo titles, it’s nothing personal. I don’t align myself with any console and am actually a pretty big Nintendo fan at heart. I just happen to think they’ve revealed some of the worst game titles this E3. Now here are some other bad named games that I think shouldn’t quite be overlooked.

C.O.P.: The Recruit - Could be a pretty awesome DS game. Seems to play pretty similarly to GTA, but because of this lousy title alone, I’m sure most people aren’t going to pay much attention to it.

Mario vs Donkey Kong: Minis March Again - Okay, so I’m sure a lot of you won’t find much wrong with this title, and that’s fine. I just personally think it’s too long and doesn’t sound too good. Not that big of a deal, though.

Left 4 Dead 2 - I’m not fully sure what to think about this one. They went for the obvious sequel name, so I guess I can’t gripe too much about that, but having 4 and 2 in the title could possibly be confusing to some. Maybe many of you will disagree with this idea, but I think the title Left 4 Dead Too could have been pretty cool and also fairly amusing.

Modern Warfare 2 - Alright, last one. I can understand them wanting to shorten the title and differentiate this as a new modern series separate from the World-War-based games, but I still think the Call of Duty name deserves some recognition for the Modern Warfare games.

In conclusion, if there’s one thing video game console names have taught us over the years, it’s that names don’t really mean a thing. We might get upset over them and whine and complain, but in the end we’ll pretty much just have to try to accept them for what they are, no matter how stupid they may be.