Collection Part 5: After iPhone

This is the fifth part of my collection. It is split into multiple list due to list length restrictions. This list covers the short period after I got an iPhone and thought it was a good idea to list iPhone games in these lists. I stopped listing iPhone games after this. You might notice it's the only list to fill up in under a year. Specifically this covers from May 2013 to November 2013.

I make a habit of putting a number (1/5 to 5/5) and about a paragraph on each game. You know, for posterity. A heart (<3) means I love the game and it's one of my all time favorites.

Keep in mind that takes here were written during the period this covers (2013) and are of a time.

List items

  • iOS (November 5th, 2013) - 4/5 - Pretty cool app, not as feature complete as the Steam Game that's probably more money but hey, it's better as an app. I like it.

  • PC (October 17th, 2013) - 5/5 - The Stanley Parable has some amazing things in it. It's basically what you'd get if Wheatley had sex with Antichamber and then went to Steam and downloaded the Stanley Parable. It provokes a variety of emotions, plays with a lot of interesting facets of game design, is loaded with secrets and, best of all, is really fucking funny. I would suggest diving into it and seeing as much as you can. The end is never the end.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (October 12th, 2013) - 3/5 - I just couldn't be bothered to care.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (October 12th, 2013) - 2/5 - I don't think this aged well at all. In a world where Assassin's Creed showed us what climbing should be like 8 years ago the weirdly arcane Shadow of the Colossus feels, well, oddly arcane. I just can't dig into it.

  • X Version - 3DS (October 12th, 2013) - 5/5 - It's a really fucking good Pokemon game. The new Exp Share minimizes grinding and makes it effortless to keep your whole party even, the 3D Models and shading look fucking incredible, the game moves faster than it's predecessors and, as always, the journey is a lot of fun to go through. I have very few criticisms of it. I just had a really good time with it.

  • PS3 (October 8th, 2013) - 3/5 - I like Beyond: Two Souls in spite of itself. It's a goofy game that's mostly a lot of meandering or quick time events in mostly disconnected scenes that get longer, more fantastical and less relatable as the game goes on. That said there's something admirable about it. I really liked how human a lot of the simpler stuff in the game was before it went from slightly fantastical to off its tits. All the characters who are not 1 dimensional heels were characterized well and made relatively likable to the point that I wanted to see more of their lives. To the point where I enjoyed seeing more facets of their relationships. I think that's admirable in a game and I'm glad I saw it even if it was far from perfect.

  • 360 (September 17th, 2013) - 4/5 - GTA V's story missions are as good as can be for a straight crime game due in large part to the 3 character system which is brilliant as it allows you to experience many missions from a few different angles, allowing you to feel like a crew of criminals doing dirt as a team rather than just a lone gun. That broadens what sort of dirt can be done in missions and they use it really well. That said I can't stand the "satire" which is baked into the rest of the world even when its not sexist. All the unnamed characters are terrible/shrill like they're being written by someone with nothing but contempt for them. It's insufferable. Other than that I do take issue with most of the secondary systems being entirely pointless and the chaos being limited by being fragile and psychic cops who sense crime but these things sort of don't matter because the missions are great by themselves.

  • [A Different Strata] iOS (September 14th, 2013) - 4/5 - It's pretty cool, I enjoy solving the puzzles, pretty well done, should've had volume options.

  • PS3 (September 10th, 2013) - 4/5 - This game has charm in spades. The way the levels, characters, narrative and world unfolds is magical, and I feel strongly that it's worth seeing. I also feel strongly that it has some real big problems. While it should be congratulated for making no level short on plot the length of the levels and the amount of storytelling each packs is frankly exhausting and you feel its length. Playing an act at a time (3 levels - lasts between 1 and 2 hours) was exhausting. Additionally it makes the game neigh unplayable rendering it's collection/unlockable aspects ill conceived. Still, it's a really well crafted experience that you get a lot out of. You just have to pace yourself.

  • Wii U (September 3rd, 2013) - 5/5 - Rayman Legends is a better game than Rayman Origins in nearly every respect. The worlds adhere less to established tropes, the water levels are fun this time, it introduces interesting new level mechanics with surprising regularity, its boss fights are check pointed properly and have platforming elements, it has all of Rayman Origins hidden in it... If only it didn't have Murfy levels, which it has too many of. They are terrible since in the Wii U version you're saddled with a dense AI character and (so I hear) worse in the other versions where that isn't the case. Outside of those levels Rayman Legends is just a ton of fun and I wouldn't hesitate to shove it in someone's face.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (August 29th, 2013) - 3/5 - I just don't care.

  • PSN & PC (August 20th, 2013) - 5/5 - Goddamn Divekick is fun. Goddamn. This is the most I've ever cared about and competitive game. I love playing unranked and bodying fools! I love playing with friends and having a good time! I get really into playing ranked and trying to beat tough ass motherfuckers. It's a beautiful game, capturing the spirit of fighting games while dropping the execution barrier. It's also just the right kind of dumb. I think I love it. #eSports

  • 360 (August 20th, 2013) - 5/5 - There's a part of me that wants to ding this game for non-graphics related technical issues such as crashes and audio issues. There's a part of me that wants to ding it for too many missions that strip you of your super fun super powers and/or the specific weapons you invested in. That part of me should get fucked because honestly SR4 was just a fucking good time. It's a hilarious cross section of many a game. It's got story missions which are among the funniest you will ever see and it's got open world fuckabouting that's best in class. It's got it all really.

  • PC (August 15th, 2013) - 5/5 - Wow. This game feels important. It's pure atmosphere, discovery and emotions and it works wonderfully. Immerse yourself in it as soon as you can. The only ding against it is it's PC only and had framerate issues on my Ultrabook. Should've had a console version!

  • 3DS (August 11th, 2013) - 3/5 - It's too long. And a bit too monotonous. And it doesn't have Bowser in it. I can't be bothered to play more than 5 hours of it and it's telling that people who are into it tell me that's not enough time to judge it. Anyway, moving on, seems serviceable I guess.

  • Wii U (August 4th, 2013) - 5/5 - This game is the quinisential Pikmin experience and strikes a perfect balance between the pressure cooker of Pikmin 1 and the hippy dippy good time of Pikmin 2. Really enjoyed every minute of it I played, it's an incredibly smart remix of everything Pikmin with incredibly smart additions. Can't recommend it enough, it feels like an XCOM level update. Flawless in that respect.

  • iOS (August 1st, 2013) - 3/5 - It's alright. The lack of any obvious way to prioritize buildings is weird. Also I lost after a half hour and didn't want to play anymore.

  • [Pivvot] iOS (August 1st, 2013) - 4/5 - Kind of fun, good reflex driven gameplay. I like the pivot left/right gameplay it's based on, I only wish there was a randomly generated mode that used all the obstacles the game has. The endless and voyage modes are both mostly the same each time which is disappointing really.

  • Wii U (August 1st, 2013) - 2/5 - The idea is noble but the execution is massively flawed and amazingly simplistic. Its a brilliant idea to make a procedural platformer, but a stupid one to generate rom hack levels. When a procedural platformer can make a level as sensible, solid, distinct and well paced as Winky's Walkway then we'll have a game worth endlessly. Until then we have Cloudberry Kingdom which may last you up to an hour and a half before you're sick of it.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (July 27th, 2013) - 2/5 - It does nothing for me.

  • PC (July 23rd, 2013) - 3/5 - While the puzzles seem okay and fun to solve and the artwork is pretty damn endearing the way it handles is crap. I don't like any time you have to fight things. I kind of wish it either handled a lot better or didn't have any enemies. Also mapping controls is a headache.

  • PC (July 22nd, 2013) - 3/5 - I can't understand anything about it and I can't be bothered to do a tutorial in this day and age.

  • Wii U VC (July 18th, 2013) - 5/5 - It's a great game, it's just a shame I never found time to replay it fully.

  • iOS (July 16th, 2013) - 5/5 - It's just a lot of fun to burn stuff. It's mindless fun. It's also really interesting how crazy the plot is. It's pretty great. I would recommend you buy the iOS version and play it while doing other things. It's wonderful for that.

  • PC (July 15th, 2013)

  • PC (July 13th, 2013) - 4/5 - It's the best hardcore kitchen typing simulation you've ever played. It's wholly original, incredibly well executed, filled with great touches, and is just a lot of real stress inducing fun.

  • iOS (June 29th, 2013) - 2/5 - Interface bad on phone, can not play podcasts on phone while playing game. Would suggest console versions over iOS version, would prefer a Wii U Version. That I could play in bed while listening to podcast in bed. This I can not.

  • PC - (June 27th, 2013) - 5/5 - It's an amazing piece of work from every end of the equation. Gameplay wise it's a perfectly executed bulletstormish Castlevania. It handles perfectly and is tons of fun. Structurally it's a brilliant 10000000like which just makes you want to go in for another run every time you die and are returned to the upgrade hub outside the dungeon with a new heir. It's brilliant. It makes me want to see more games in this vein.

  • 3DS - (June 26th, 2013) - 3/5 - New tracks are okay, there are a few really good ones, power ups still annoying to be hit with.

  • 3DS - (June 26th, 2013)

  • Vita (June 23rd, 2013) - 4/5 - You know Hotline Miami is fantastic but I don't think the Vita version controls very well. It lacks a lock on and you can't really aim your guns properly at long distances like you can with a mouse. You probably want to give it a pass and just stick with the phenomenal PC version.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (June 23rd, 2013) - Maybe if I get 999 at some point I can play this then. Neat.

  • PS Mini (June 22nd, 2013) - 3/5 - I have to say I like this a lot more in theory than I do in fact. It's a bit heady, sometimes the puzzles feel like trial and error for long periods of time, and I didn't save before quitting one time and lost too much progress to keep playing. Hope you don't have to get a dayjob guy who made this!

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 2/5 - I don't like the feel of the shooting, I don't think I'll play this.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 3/5 - Takes too long to get into stuff, I don't like what little of the single player I've seen and while it's cool that people are remaking Mario Kart tracks it's kind of boring to play most race tracks for 3 whole goddamn laps. Not terribly impressed.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 3/5 - A game with relatively few levels with really long load times. Nice levels mind but nothing amazing.

  • Vita Shop (June 21st, 2013) - 4/5 - It's a trifle! It's free so who cares, it's kind of fun for that price.

  • PS3 PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 3/5 - I... am just not enjoying Uncharted 3. Just nope. Not digging it. I don't like the gameplay and the visuals aren't THAT pretty now that the next generation is coming up fast. The writing is the only thing that could keep me going and... yeah. It's great writing, I just can't be bothered to go through a million gunfights to get to it.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 3/5 - I played a little of it, seemed okay, no interest in playing more.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 2/5 - I played a little of it, seemed like crap, no interest in playing more.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 2/5 - I played a little of it, seemed bad, no interest in playing more.

  • Vita PS+ Perk (June 21st, 2013) - 3/5 - Kind of cool but not cool enough where I wanted to play a lot of it.

  • Vita Shop (June 21st, 2013)

  • Vita Shop (June 21st, 2013) - 5/5 <3 - Great port. Some of the cut scenes lose a bit of their punch since you don't have as good an understanding of the blocking as you do in the original but mostly it works well. I kind of like how the cursor feels like a faster way to get around then walking would've been.

  • Wii U Shop (June 20th, 2013) - 5/5 - I think this is a really strong piece of DLC content. The shorter and faster levels work well for the game, and there are some really clever levels along the way which, due to their length, never outstay their welcome. If you bought NSMBU than you buy anything, and you should buy this as well.

  • PSN (June 15th, 2013) - 5/5 - A really good small version of inFamous. Love the ability to fly whenever, it's wonderful. Makes up for the lack of ice and then some. Plus the quick progression fueled by killing vampires and sucking blood is really rad and makes for a more immediately awesome inFamous experience. It's over now but I'm glad I spend some time with it while listening to stuff.

  • PS3 (June 14th, 2013) - 5/5 <3 - A sobbering and tense game that is basically the antithesis of Uncharted combined with The Walking Dead. The game's story and pacing feel very much like Walking Dead both in how it throws dark and how it spends most of its time between combat sequences. Its gunplay/stealth however is very tense, dangerous and brutal. Quite fun. On top of that it just creates an incredibly atmospheric and rich world which shouldn't be missed.

  • iOS (June 10th, 2013) - 2/5 - A serviceable Temple Run clone with obnoxious ads.

  • [Impossible Road] - iOS (June 10th, 2013) - 4/5 - Decent little game, very fun for what it is.

  • 3DS (June 8th, 2013) - 4/5 - It's a very slow burn. It's a fun game and it definitely is compelling to back to every day for an hour or so a day and do various things to get bigger things. It has issues though. Some are due to them not fixing legacy issues, others due to it having notoriously bad networking issues. At the very least the things they've added aren't the issues. Pro Designs are amazing.

  • PC (June 7th, 2013) - Haven't found time to play it. Perhaps never will. Didn't anything on it so it's a wash.

  • iOS (June 7th, 2013) - 5/5 - Goddamn this blew my expectations out of the water. It's actually really really damn fun.

  • iOS (June 7th, 2013) - 3/5 - It's alright. More Cut the Rope.

  • 3DS (June 6th, 2013) - 5/5 - Real great game for a GBC game. Never played before, still haven't finished, but I enjoyed what I played. I think this version is the better of the two because I like the seasons conceit better than the ages conceit.

  • 3DS (June 6th, 2013) - 4/5 - Also real great game but the conceit is less interesting compared to its twin. Also never finished.

  • iOS (June 6th, 2013) - 4/5 - Pretty decent little game. Bit frutrating and it wears on you quickly but it's pretty good for what it's trying to be.

  • iOS (June 5th, 2013) - 2/5 - Controls no good.

  • [Bit Pilot] - iOS (June 2nd, 2013) - 3/5 - Kind of cool but not lighting my world on fire by any means. Needs more frills.

  • [Penny Arcade the Game: Gamers vs Evil] - 3/5 - It's decent. Not as into it as Ascention but it's okay.

  • iOS (May 31st, 2013) - 5/5 - Wow. Really fun game. Card Builders are neat and this is a well executed app on top of that.

  • Wii U VC (June 1st, 2013) - 4/5 - Pretty solid Metroidvania that's great on the Wii U gamepad.

  • PC (May 30th, 2013) - 4/5 - It's a really good piece of scifi puzzle game that's really good science fiction. The atmosphere's right, the science is right, the look is right, the puzzles are good, the game goes on a bit too long for my tastes. I'd almost rather it be more bite size but whatever, it's cool. (Note: Did not run on my laptop at launch. Review revised now that it does run.)

  • Wii U (May 24th, 2013) - 3/5 - It's a really good Lego Game in many senses. The addition of free run objects is great and some of the levels are pretty well designed. Unfortunately it's still a Lego game and, after a while, certain desisions and unchanged things begin to bother you. The Wii U gimmicks are all garbage and make the game worse. Disguises needlessly complicate things and feel like a hold over from the original Lego games' design. There's long stretches of shitty driving missions at points during the story. And, finally, once you get past the new stuff it's very much the same tedious sometimes baffling Lego experience you're already tired of.

  • 3DS (May 24th, 2013) - 3/5 - Donkey Kong Country Returns has aged poorly. In a post Rayman Origins world where Platformer reboots can have tight handling and physics games like DKCR where the physics are slippery and loose don't work, especially when it's not even a new game. The problems from DKCR are more clear than ever playing through it 2 years later to the point where I can only reccomend it if you're absolutely mad. It's not the best version of the game either, looks a little shitty due to the resolution of the screen. Final note, there are 8 new levels, they're okay.

  • iOS (May 23rd, 2013) - 4/5 - Decent little endless runner. Surprising how compelling the very, very simple gameplay is.

  • Wii U VC (May 23rd, 2013) - 4/5 - Pretty good Kirby game, like how the combos work, not crazy about it though. I prefer Kirby 64's combos, physics and levels. That said it's still a pretty good game I enjoy playing.

  • PC Day9 Perk (May 22nd, 2013) - 3/5 - Seems okay but little interest in playing much more if it. Got it as a freebie so it matters not.

  • iOS (May 19th, 2013) - 3/5 - It's alright but I don't really love the timings, the controls or anything about it.

  • iOS (May 18th, 2013) - 4/5 - Amazingly simple and quick but also amazingly fun. Bit trippy.

  • iOS (May 14th, 2013) - N/A - Never set aside time to play.

  • iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 3/5 - Seems pretty standard with some good writing added in.

  • iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 5/5 - Really engaging once you get going, hard to put down. Really satisfying to discover your story.

  • iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 2/5 - Did not enjoy.

  • [Zombie Highway] - iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 3/5 - Kind of fun.

  • iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 4/5 - Polished. Really really polished.

  • [Pizza vs. Skeletons] - iOS (May 14th, 2013) - 4/5 - Pretty good. Lots of variety, solid controls.

  • iOS (May 12th, 2013 - 3/5 - Very competent and kind of fun puzzle game.

  • iOS (May 12th, 2013) - 3/5 - Very competent and kind of fun puzzle game.

  • iOS (May 12th, 2013) - 3/5 - This was fun for a bit.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 1/5 - Did not like at all. Controls were awful and the gameplay is too basic.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 5/5 - It's a slow burn but once you get deep into to it you get deep into it. Ultimately I highly recommend it.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 2/5 - Not into at all.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - Cool for a bit, but I feel like I've seen everything.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - Indifferent about.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 2/5 - Actively disliked. Bad controls, may be better on iPad.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - Not really my cup of tea but it's cool that it's so detailed.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - Works as advertised, not interested in more.

  • [ColorCross] - iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - Super cool idea, multilayored Picross, but initial puzzles are too easy and controls aren't the best.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 4/5 - Great production values, very enjoyable, writing is nice.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 4/5 - Charming little puzzle game.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 4/5 - This game is pretty damn cool. I love the feeling you get when you go into free fall.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 3/5 - This game is alright. I'm not very good at word games turns out though.

  • iOS (May 10th, 2013) - 5/5 - This game is nuts and super engaging. I'm really digging it, full props.