Here he comes. Again. You know, I almost feel bad at this point.

Me too. Almost. But not really.

Yeah, I guess.

At least he’s not wasting time. And he’s getting better at dodging the knights.

I don’t know about that. Talked to Jim on break; they’re going easy on him.

Well. That’s nice of them.

Yeah. Nice.

You don’t have to shoot this time, if you feel that bad. I can take care of it.

I don’t want to be written up. Those bats are fucking suck ups.

Good at their work, though. Ouch. That spear isn’t doing him any favours. Get ready.

…

Well, he made it at least.

Barely. And… go.

Fine.

Oh, come on. You’re not even trying.

I am too. I just have a lot more architecture in the way.

Oh sure, sure.

Besides, he’s going right anyway. They always go right.

Yeah. Fucking YouTube.

You’ve got to admit, it’s the best strategy.

Well, it looks like his current strategy is to just sit there.

He’s gathering himself. You know, take a breath, centre, open yourself up to the energy of the universe.

You’ve been reading yoga books again, huh.

Nothing wrong with expanding one’s horizons.

Dude. Really. You sound totally gay.

And you sound like an asshole.

I guess that’s why we get along so well.

Badum-tish.

He’s really taking his time. I wonder if he’s gone off to have a cry.

Not even a little bit of sympathy for him? This is like his thirtieth try. That’s got to sting a bit.

Not as much as the arrow I just lodged in his back. That’ll learn him to peak out.

At least he didn’t fall off.

Whose side are you on?

What do you mean? I’m still firing.

But your heart isn’t in it.

Maybe you have enough heart in it for the both of us.

Oh shit, here he comes.

…

Okay. Now I do feel bad.

That was sad.

I didn’t expect him to just jump like that.

I think he tried to roll. You know how it is.

I wonder if we can get another assignment.

Jim said he and Bob were looking into the antechamber gig.

Lucky bastards.

Yeah, but everyone wants antechamber. You have to fight once and then no one bothers.

Speaking of. Here he comes. Again.

Man. This is not good for my sense of self.

I’m starting to get what you – OH SHIT!

I can’t believe he just did that.

He clearly didn’t mean to.

I have never seen the bats laugh so hard. I think Harold just pissed himself.

God. Kid must be tearing out his hair. Oh, there’s the whistle. He’s gone.

I wonder if he’s going to come back this time.

They always do. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a month from now, maybe in a – wait, what’s that noise?

[ATTENTION ANOR LONDO PLAYERS: BELMONT HAS DELETED HIS GAME REPEAT BELMONT HAS DELETED HIS GAME GOOD JOB EVERYONE JOIN US IN THE RECEPTION AREA FOR CAKE]

Oh. I guess that means we win.

Do we, though? Do we?

God man, you’re depressing as shit today.

…

Anyway, it’s over. Let’s go get cake.

…

Oh what, so now you’re mad at me?

No. I’m just. Tired. You know?

I get it. I really do. But it’s the job.

I think I’m going to put in for a transfer. Right now.

Where?

Somewhere quiet, out of the way. Or, you know, just less evil. I’d love to do Solaire.

Oh right, like he’d give it over so easy.

I know. I just… need a change of pace. This sniping shit isn’t fulfilling me anymore.

Well. Okay.

What?

Nothing.

You just said you get it.

No, I do, I do. It’s just… I like that we get to go to work together. And Solaire… that’s big time. It’s a one-man gig.

We’ll still see each other at home. I don’t know what the big deal is.

Excuse me for wanting to spend time together.

I don’t mean it like that.

Oh, okay, sorry. I tend to take the words you say to mean the things they mean. Really, my fault for not being psychic hard enough.

You’re getting worked up over nothing.

So you think our relationship is nothing. Good. Good to fucking know.

Oh, Umbassa.

Don’t you dare bring your ex into this.

Calm dow—

I AM FUCKING CALM!

Clearly.

…

Look. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.

…

It’s this job, man. It’s getting in the way.

…

Let’s get down from here. There’s probably still some cake left. We can talk about it later.

I’m sorry. Maybe you’re right. This is no way to spend an infinity.

We can find something together. I’m sure of it.

That would be cool. I just…

I know. Me too. Big time.

Cool. Hey Frank?

Yes, Jack?

~plunk~

HAHAHA OW. Bastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa –