treatusequal

Growing up deep in the woods of Northern Minnesota video games were my only source of modern day entertainment. As a child I'd play Battletoads, Punch Out, and Mario 3 over and over until I almost didn't even need to open my eyes to play (except for Battletoads some levels were bullshit!). During this time I had no idea I was gay, I didn't know gay was a possibility. As I grew older i quickly figured out I was different and I hid it. It wasn't hard for me. I was a big fish in a small pond. I was popular, captain of the basketball team, president of the student council and on and on...but it was a small town and that met I was friends with everyone because I had to be. The weird thing was that I hid being a gamer like I hid being gay. Growing up here being into games was a huge taboo. Real men went hunting and fishing and played in the woods. And while I liked doing all those things I also had a strong love of games. It wasn't until 10th grade I learned that it wasn't just the dorks eating their boogers at lunch hour that were into games...it was everyone. Everyone who was exposed to videogames ended up being all about videogames. My friends and I sat down and played Goldeneye sometimes for weekends at a time. It was awesome and it was amazing and we bonded over something I never felt possible. People who just days earlier had told me they would never play a game were calling me night and day to hang out and play Madden.

From then on I was hooked for life. When the xbox first came out I bought two and eight controllers and I had friends over to play Halo as often as possible. It was really the greatest time of my life. And I was good! I drove 5 hours to go to a tournament in Minneapolis and I won. I had dominated these kids from the city and it made me feel good. And the thing was...they were all so nice. While we played there was riverally but afterwards we'd sit and talk. We talked about videogames and sports and just random crap. People i had never met before were so welcoming. A lot of these kids were obviously lacking some social behaviors. You could tell that they hadn't quite gotten over their awkward stage, yet here they were putting aside their shyness and just talking like we were old friends.

Then they came out with Xbox live...and I hated playing online. Suddenly 95% of these kids were tough guys. They were racist and bigoted and unapologetic ab out it. I stopped playing with randoms and just started playing with friends...it made me mad because here was this awesome network, unlike any I had seen before, and I wasn't able to use it to meet new people at all.

And then I came out of the closet. When I came out I made a point to no longer make it ok for someone to use the words gay, fag, or queer in a derogatory manner. And I am not a small man or a meek man and when I speak people listen or they run. But I need help now. I need the help of not just gay gamers who are tired of all the name calling, I need the help of those people back in the day I met at the Halo tournament and were so gracious. I need those people to convince their friends that it's not ok to be an asshole online. I need them to understand that being gay is not a choice. It does not make you less a man. And the hatred that they are spewing is not only unnecessary but damaging.

What i really need though is the Bombcast. I've been listening to it since the energy drink review days and they quickly became my go to crew for a good game podcast. I can't tell you how many times after listening to one of their shows that I had to drive somewhere and pick up a game. I' know they are not gay. I know their show does not have to do with being gay. I know they have gay people on your show and that does do a lot of good...But they do have gay followers and it is up to them as a leader in the gaming community to help make a difference. I am not asking them to stand up on a soap box after work and preach to the masses. I am asking for them to stand up for gay gamers that listen to their show and make a very bold and solid point to say it is OK to be gay. And it is NOT ok to degrade us.

Now comes the dirty part...i have started an organization. I am collecting stories about being gay and sharing them with people who wouldn't normally read them. I want both gay men to be inspired by other gay men, and for them to know that there are others out there just like them and suffering. And I want straight guys like you to see the difficulties we gay men go through. Being gay is a lot like being a gamer. There are negative stereotypes that don't fit and we are ostracized from society for no reason other than we are misunderstood.

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