The strangest blog I've done in a while.

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Eversion

(And with that, I have finished Eversion.) (That, of course, refers to this, because I'm going to confuse you with pronouns instead of multiple links.) I gotta say, when I simply yelled "GIMME THIS GAME" at in his birthday blog, I'd no idea that I'd 100% it in a day. Now I'm not saying that in a bad way or anything. Far from it. Now, do you know that stereotype of indie games (or at least what I think is a stereotype of indie games) where people say there's just so much meaning to it, man, but it ends up looking like a fucking generic platformer? Well, that's exactly what Eversion is, and that's what I love about it so damn much.

Hell, I can prove all those words with the story. Of which there is none. It's rescuing a princess for reasons that are not clear, and absolutely nothing else. And what with the sickeningly cheery atmosphere and the music ripped from Cocoron (at least in the freeware version), it doesn't look like things are going to change anytime soon. But give it a bit of time, and you'll soon discover eversion. What the hell is that? Well, it's corrupting the world, but it's better than I could possibly make it sound. Everything eventually corrupts, and I do mean everything. Hell, even the system files can become corrupt and twisted, should you so desire it, so the game's always going to keep you guessing with what exactly it's going to screw with next.

One of the layers. Probably.
One of the layers. Probably.

But it hardly ends there. Remember what I said about the story? No, not that; the pretentious indie thing. Well, this is how it delivers in spades. Keep in mind that your goal is to rescue the princess, and your tool is eversion. That meas you must corrupt the world around you to save that dear princess. Nature does not want you to hook up with your sweetie. But wait a minute. The best ending the game gives you implies that the corrupted world is natural for them. Does that mean that we're all living a lie, and that Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet is the true reality? Or d...OK, ow. My brain's starting to hurt. In a good way, but also in an "I need a fistful of Advil" way. Let's...move onto something else.

Oh, and it also leads to some cool level design, if you're the type of person who likes gameplay in their video games. In addition to creeping you the eff out, each layer also has different properties, like new platforms and enemies and stuff. I know it sounds simple, but trust me: it leads to some really clever level design, especially since you can't transport to Cthulhu Land whenever you want. (Though that may be because you'd never want such a thing.) It's actually rather surprising that the game manages to achieve this, given how mechanically simple it is. You get a jump, an evert button, and eight levels/a couple of hours worth of gameplay out of it. Then again, it's damn fine gameplay with just that, so who the hell am I to complain? My only substantial complaint would be that this game eats up CPU like it's a life or death situation, but since that's usually code for "I ran this thing on a TI-83 calculator", I'm almost certain you can ignore that one complaint. Just like you can't ignore my complaints about you not buying it already. I'll make sure to that.

Review Synopsis

  • Earthbound: The Platformer! (That's all I really need to say to summarize this.)

This is the music you play whenever there's a Fire Emblem 4 thread, apparently. I DECREE IT TO BE SO.

Devil World

(Now that's more like it.) After a recent game that people have heard of, I need a slightly obscure NES game that was never released outside Japan, and this is almost that. Now why wasn't this game released in America, exactly? Well, I imagine many of you will say that it's because of all the Jesus in the game, but I prefer to think that with Pac Man already on the NES, Nintendo thought it would be unnecessary competition.

What exactly do I mean by that? Exactly what I'm saying: it's Pac Man with more Jesus. Or, to be more precise, Satan, and he's a wily bastard. While you're trying to collect dots (for Jesus, I guess?), he's moving the map around in a petty attempt to crush you to bits. Yes, it's hectic and complicated, but that's where you get the game's fun. You never know what that bastard's gonna do, and you have to adjust your game accordingly, especially when he's out to turn you into an accordion.

Oh, Satan, you disco devil, you!
Oh, Satan, you disco devil, you!

Unfortunately, I could say a lot of that about other parts of the game, only without actually complimenting them. Remember what I said about collecting dots in this game? Well, unfortunately, you have to collect temporary crosses to pick them up. I have no idea why, and it's hard for me to think of anything positive about them. They simply make the maps more complicated than need be (and they're not that complicated in the first place) and needless draw out the length of an already incredibly short game.

But worry not, dear readers, for there's more to this game than merely collecting dots. There's also collecting Bibles and returning them to the center, collecting books that aren't Bibles as part of an unwinnable bonus game.......OK, so there isn't a lot to this game, but like Eversion before it (and after it, confusingly enough), what's there is done well. So try it out, if you've ever thought that Pac Man could use more Christian symbolism. (I'd have left it at religious symbolism, but Pac Man's got Buddhism in spades.)

Review Synopsis

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