warcat777

Sharp fanged blood sucking DEATH dives from midnight skies!

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Crappy Tutorials in Games

Extra minus points for starting up in German. Yeah, I am German, but I don't play games in German. Let me decide for myself. Don't automatically set it.

(Doesn't mean the games themselves are necessarily bad)

List items

  • Epic edition. Don't remember this in the Steam version. The game starts up on an E3 esque interactive trailer where you press the right buttons at the right time to make the scripted game go epic slow motion.

  • Here's how to play the game: find me all the shit I need for a fun boat ride. No, I'm not gonna help.

    (Better in 1.5 Remix)

  • I know it's originally a mobile game, but that doesn't make it better. Shitty mobile style tutorial that only highlights the 'important' buttons and thus teaches you nothing if you're new to the game.

  • Long, drawn-out prologue that does a bad job as a tutorial. Should've looked to the first one for inspiration.

  • So you wanna be a driver for us, Tanner? Why don't you perfectly pull off this list of Evil Knievel-ass stunts that you'll rarely ever need in the proper game?

  • If you do a trick wrong in the tutorial, the character falls off his bike even if you landed perfectly, and that's just very irritating to me. Don't make me think I did the landing wrong with that shit.

  • Another lame mobile-style tutorial with highlighted, forced options. Have I explained that this type of tutorial is useless because you don't have to use your brain to do it? You just click on whatever thing on the screen is flashing instead.

    Also, devs apparently don't know how to spell 'prologue'.

  • Another mobile-style one. Still, good game, and the light-up tutorial wasn't even necessary, because it's not exactly hard to understand how it works.

  • Very comprehensive, but also boring, completely unskippable, and forces you to do exactly what it says in order to proceed. And I mean, exactly as in, "click exactly on this spot when I show you how to rotate the camera."

  • Keep screen dark and light up buttons you're babbling about. I don't know who's brain is compatible with this kind of tutorial, but it's not mine.

  • How hard could it be to eat men?

  • (This entry is a placeholder for Small World on Steam, which isn't on GB) The tutorial is a button on the main menu that takes you to a Youtube video.

  • Ah, what a complete doozy. Mobile style tutorial, doesn't start up on a menu, but on the bad tutorial, also in German by default and I can't change it anywhere in game, it seems. Goodbye Space Wolf!

  • Classic mobile style bad tutorial (also uses the font every military mobile game seems to use, for bonus points). Explanations are also littered with comical grammatical errors, which is also always nice.

  • Mobile style tutorial. Kind of weird and annoying for a game based on old Blizzard RTS's (like their other games, blatantly), I guess they wanted to modernize it, but I hate it regardless. Just let me at least move the camera in the god damn tutorial, I'm not 5. And no 5-year-old is playing this.

  • Light up all the different sections with text on the screen. Instead of learning by doing, I have to memorize them. Great tutorial, guys. I assume that people who program tutorials like this have never, ever played a game before.