A Thing About Things

By WickedCestus July 4, 2011 1 Comments

HELLO AND WELCOME TO THIS THING

 
Hi! This is a thing that I am writing, because I am one of those people who likes writing things. There's not much more to it than that. A lot of people like doing weekly blog things, but I don't think I'm consistent enough to do that, so I'll just call this a "periodical" thing that may or may not ever happen again. I've written blogs in the past, but since then I have realized two things:
 
-  People love pictures 
- People also love headers. 
 
So, I will be trying to incorporate those into whatever this is, because I base my self-worth on how many people look at my writing, even if they don't read it. Oh yeah, this thing is about games. I should have mentioned that. 
 

YAY VIDEO GAMES

 
 Due to the recent Steam sale, I have bought some video games! I have also been given a couple games because it was my birthday last week. I'm going to write about these games now!  
  
BIT.TRIP RUNNER 
 
How do you like bold underlined italics? Pretty snazzy, right? BIT.TRIP Runner is a video game where you run and get gold and shit. It's sick as hell! I feel like this is the

 perfect game for Gaijin Software, since the pace of the game is constant and determined by the game, due to the fact that the running is automatic. This means that every jump is perfectly timed to the beat, which makes the game sound awesome as well as looking awesome. I don't know about anyone else, but I've always wanted to leave a trail of rainbow wherever I go. My only issue with the game is that it can be super unforgiving, since one missed jump will always send you back to the start. It's understandable, since the whole game is about getting into a groove, and restarting the whole level is better than just continuing in the middle with all the music fucked up. I give this game four stars out of six!
 
 
BIT.TRIP BEAT 
 

Woah, two BIT.TRIP games! What a coincidence; it's almost as if there was some sort of franchise sale on Steam where you could get both games for $5! In this one, you  don't run as much as the last one! In fact, you don't run at all! You beat! Beat the levels, that is! Except in my case, where you don't beat the levels because they are too difficult. The first level is cool as heck, but in the second level there are just so many colours and so many blinky things and effects that I would often lost track and then have a seizure. If you're unaware, this game is like single-player Pong, but instead of making an extremely boring game, they added a musical component to it that makes it actually fun to play. As some one who enjoys listening to things, it really appeals to me, and I will go back and hopefully try to beat the second level at some point. I give it three stars out of five! 
 
 
TERRARIA 
 
I was going to go in alphabetical order, but I just realized that I already screwed that all up, so I'm just going to skip straight to Terraria! My friend describes Terraria as "Minecraft for hipsters", which is kinda funny but also not particularly accurate. As many people have mentioned, Terraria is more about fighting monsters and shit than building things. Though, where I'm at in the game, I don't have good enough armour or weapons to fight bosses (also, I'm too scared!) so I have just been mining a lot. 

A lot! It's strangely satisfying to just keep digging farther and farther underground and find new things. You have to set up torches and platforms so you can get back up to the top, which makes it feel like you're building some sort of underground city just for yourself and evil monsters. (Just a thought, maybe it's kind of weird that the two things I feel make up a city are torches and platforms. Remind me not to play Sim City ever.) It's good fun! It's certainly not bad fun! Eight stars out of seven!
 
 
 
 GARRY'S MOD  
 
Is this even a game? I don't know. I attached a bunch of thrusters to a fountain and then I made it fly around. Ten stars out of five!   
 

THE END

 
Karma Chameleon for me was one of those songs that I knew the general gist of but had never explicitly listened to. That all changed this week, when I watched the music video about a hundred times and realized I want to become a cross-dresser. 

  

  

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