Yoghurt's forum posts
The polar bear thing is pretty funny, every European country north of Italy and east of Germany seems to get the same treatment - Poland is no exception in that case.
Things that you heard about Poland which are pretty much true:
- Our women are probably the greatest
- Our bread, butter, vegetables and other groceries are not some "organic" shit- they are just that good and natural
- Yes, we are religious, but not zealous. Not everyone, at least
- Yes, we probably have more bisons than US
- Well, yeah, we have one of the best special forces in the world. You've never heard of their many actions? That's because they're so good at their job
- Everything you've read about polish hussars, no matter how insanely badass it is -it's true
- You are right, our language is fucking ridiculous
- Since yesterday, our civilian airline pilots are regarded as heroes
Common misconceptions about Poland:
- We do not, in fact, speak Russian. Russian is much easier
- We do have natural resistance to alcohol poisoning, but we don't drink every day, surprisingly.
- Not every Polish man has a moustache.
- We do have tarmac and asphalt roads. They're not in great shape in some parts, but we have them.
- We don't use carriages and horses as transport anymore.
- Not every polish imigrant works as a garbage man or roof repairer in Chicago
Oh noes, Diablo III has colorful enviroments!
@McShank: Good luck with making a toddler sit still for a second, not to mention giving him a book to read. Ever had contact with a little kid for an hour? I don't have kids of my own yet, but my fiancee is a godmother and spends a lot of time with her niece, and I have to take care of her too. And it's great, but if making almost 2 year old kid interested in one thing and relatively content for more than five minutes is a full time job, and I'm not even her parent, I can't imagine how short my timespan for games will be in the nearest future. Add job responsibilities (thank god, I work at home, that's 2 hours a day not wasted on driving), home responsibilities so simple, yet so time-consuming, simlutanious studying to exams... Damn, I don't even watch TV, probably thanks to it I still can slice an hour or two a day to play video games. I don't think I should get a medal, but maybe a commendation?
All about fun... I don't miss that. Games have evolved.
Of course they did and I'm glad they did. Looking back at some of my favourite titles from 10-15 years ago, without nostalgia glasses, could make me a bitter, sad, sad man.
@ProfessorEss: The storytelling in gaming is such serious business, that even mentioning with one word that Final Fantasy or Metal Gear Solid are simple stories and there's nothing deep about them, seems to attract more hate than saying that somone's mother was a loose woman and her nether regions stink (to say it lightly). It's like arguing about music and I understand a point of view of both sides of the argument - if you like this or that, have it your way.But don't tell me it's the best story ever told and bash it with a hammer into my head, because I like something completely different. I agree with the author of the article from my own, subjective point of view - good stories are hard to find. But, as the article states, it's not that the stories are worse, it's me getting older. Which does not mean I don't see any future for game storytelling.
@Giantstalker: It's not the problem of "mainstream" gaming. Indie market is not so different, because there is only a handful of options to stay original. And indies try to be so unique that it's not fun anymore, it's tedious. Games don't have to be brakthrough productions changing the way we think about the whole market, they don't have to be the lone, shining beacons in the world of Call of Duty \ GTA \ PutAnyOtherAAATitleHere bandwagons. They're suposed to be fun. And if a game can't satisfy my need for good fun and good plot in a short span I have to play video games nowadays, why should I spend my hard earned money on them?
By the way - I've got ACII: Brotherhood and Deus Ex: HR today. And as far as I know, they are so long I won't be playing much of the new titles which will come before christmas. And I will probably feel bad about it. God damn my game addiction.
@MattyFTM: You've got valid points, and we have some common thoughts. In #1 I've blatantly stated, that the whole article is just making fun of nostalgia and "Everything was better when I was a kid". But that doesn't mean some points in the article are not valid. I've mentioned (in #2) that lack of originality is not the problem, as games borrow most of the ideas from other media to construct gameplay and story (Uncharted, for example, could be simplified to Tomb Raider mixed with Indiana Jones plot). It's just the fact that some developers lack creativity to use well estabilished mechanics in some compelling way and use the "gimmick" (like cover system) without any thought, just copy-pasting the whole concept without adding own ideas or twisting it in some interesting way.
@ProfessorEss: The plot is always a subjective thing, and if you don't like some storytelling devices, you won't like the game, even if others say it's the greatest story ever. For example, I'm not jRPG guy and (for me) most japanese productions are full of bulshit fillers and overally try to look "deep" and "ambitious" by telling a simple story in convoluted way, making the obvious solutions way harder than they should be. Some people love such plots, I don't. But it's just my thing, I loved Final Fantasy VI and VII when they came out, but now they seem silly in many ways. Again, point goes to the author of the article, because it was the whole idea behind it - you don't have so much fun with many games, because you get older and your beliefs and feelings towards some mechanics change greatly.
And what's the "average gamer" nowadays? Still 30 year old male?
I've read the article today and I thought "Holy shit! It's true!". Of course, Cracked is obviously a humorous website, and as such, it concentrates on parody, exageration and ridiculousness. The author just gives the another example of pink, nostalgia mist of our childhood, and I'm fully aware of it, but the points given are still horryfingly valid. These are my thoughts on the subject:
#5. You Think Multiplayer is Bullshit
As I've mentioned many times - I don't give a fuck about multiplayer experience. I toy with it, I might even play it for a week or two, but that's it. I'm a single player guy to the bone and focusing on multi by developers is not gonna sell such title for me, no matter how good the reviews are or how far my friends go to advertise it during conversation. I grew up with single player style of gaming and I'm used to it. Of course I'm not counting the "hot seat" or "two players single couch", it's totally different element. It's also a multiplayer component, but it's allowing me to play with someone I like for a change, and even friend list management in multiplayer title won't give me the same experience as sitting next to a guy or gal, elbow to the ribs or kicking the ankle to distract him\her and the overall atmosphere of playing side by side. Internet connection is not gonna give you that.
To make my point clearer - I love zombie games. But the most infuriating thing with L4D or Dead Island is the fact that to fully enjoy the game, I have to team up with a bunch of strangers (in most cases) who I have never seen, and who are (again, in most cases) a collection of dicks, 13-year olds (or both) and I loathe playing with them. Really, I don't have anything against shooting morons in the head, but teaming up with them to have any fun? And making it the selling point? Come on.
#4. You Think Games Are Suddenly Too Long
Case in point - The Witcher 2. I love the franchise, I love the setting, I've read the books, I've enjoyed the game. But I've enjoyed it once (on Roche's side, if anyone asks), for 40 hours or so. And I don't feel like coming back for more. And it's annoying that I've probably missed half of the game just because I've made a choice of siding with the guy I liked the most. I'll probably be back for some more witchering in the far future, I like replaying good games as any other gamer. But for fuck's sake, I don't have so much time on my hands to sink it into one title, especially when I'm still behind with a lot of other great games (believe it or not, I've just played through Arkham Asylum, despite the fact I love Batman comic books). When I was younger, I used to buy even 5 games a month and enjoy every one of them, just because I had so much free time on my hands, I didn't know what to do with it, so I played them to death (Fallout 2? Finished about 30 times, no joke). Now? No way. Make me a 10 hour, but absorbing story, and I'm happy. If You can't amaze me within that time frame, It's just bad storytelling. And yes, sidequests are fun. But if you make the main quest line shorter and simplier than a Call of Duty campaign and make your whole game a set of side missions (and none of them affects the outcome of the ending) , you should not focus on making RPGs, Bethesda.
#3. You Miss Game Storylines That Were Actually Compelling
Oh hell I am, as I've mentioned above. Maybe now I have 2hours a day to play video games, but it doesn't mean I don't care about the story at all and giving me something to shoot or slice is not going to work. Yeah, I like to entertain myself with dumb things as any other person on this planet, that's why I watch Transformers movies and enjoy a short session with Torchlight, but, just as a multiplayer component - loot and blood are not selling points for me anymore. I want something short, but amazing story- AND gameplay-wise, like, let's say, holyfuckingchristawesome Halo CE campaign, Arkham Asylum, Portal or Uncharted. It's doable, as those titles exemplify, you just have to fucking try for once.
#2. You Think Originality is Dead
And it wouldn't be so bad, because if somethings good, why not to copy it? Moreover, blending of genres gave us great games, which are not simply classified as RPGs or Action-Adventure anymore. I fully realize, that games were never original, one in a million, stand alone wonders of human imagination, but I like something I've seen before, used in unconvntional ways. Cover system? Kill.Switch introduced it in the form we know nowadays, but the game was so shitty nobody remembers it. Gears? That's what I call a good use of known patent. But 100th time someone uses GoW cover system? Boring as hell.
Another example of great blending of seemingly unoriginal ideas into one, awesome game? Deus Ex. Nothing is new here - we've seen stealth, we've seen hacking, we've seen RPG elements, but everything mixed together makes a game I always have on my HDD. It's not the lack of originality that's bad, it's recycling the ideas without any thought that's ruining the game for me.
#1. You Miss When Games Used to be "All About Fun"
All right, this is the point in the article, when even an inbred mouth-brathing analphabet realizes the whole thing is explaining the old truth of "Things were better when I was young". And I get it, which doesn't automatically mean I don't think that nothing has changed. I was happier when I was a kid. I could be irresponsible, I could sit till 5AM to finish a game, I could eat Icecream mixed with potato chips doing it, and I didn't give a fuck about anything but pure, untainted fun. But, to be honest, playing with sticks and pretending they're guns was also fun. Oh, and destroying cities bulit in the sandbox was also fun, especially, when someone else built them. It's just the fact I'm more demanding when I'm older. Which doesn't mean game developers can ignore my moaning and throw out all those points above. I'm paying them to have fun, and I'll be paying them, when I'll make a fun-loving kid of my own.