Part: 61 Time For ANOTHER Bullshit Kidnapping Scene!

Last we left off, Yuna was dead set on marrying Seymour for reasons unbeknownst to her Guardians. Yuna's "wedding" is one of Final Fantasy X's narrative low-points. Yuna's marriage culminates in a chorus of wet farts. Yuna loses her whimsical independence; Wakka transforms into a spectacular racist; Rikku becomes a sniveling brat; worse of all, Tidus's piss-baby nature reaches all-time heights. There's honestly no one who benefits from this story arc. To make matters worse, none of the characters deserve your sympathy. Yuna's altruism frames her as the de jure source of our compassion. However, most of the problems we experience are her fucking fault.

One of the "dark secrets" about Final Fantasy X is how Tidus is not the main character. The game revolves around Yuna more than Tidus considering her pilgrimage serves as the story's raison d'être. To the game's credit, it evolves Yuna in a simple but rewarding character arc. Yuna starts out naïve and idealistic, but slowly becomes more cognizant of the importance of circumstance. As Yuna gains new Aeons, she develops her combat and leadership skills. When new situations arise, she plays a larger role in leading the cast. Then right on cue, Yuna gets kidnapped for the fourth time.

The trope of the "princess in jeopardy" is nigh universal across world literature and video games. The difference is how Final Fantasy X develops the tools of the trade of its female lead. Yuna can summon large monsters of unspeakable power. Yuna getting abducted might have been acceptable during the game's waking moments. The Yuna from Besaid was a wide-eyed idealist with no understanding of what she was getting herself into. To play the "damsel in distress" card this late is downright insulting. We know what Yuna can do, and know she's better than this.

Yuna's fourth kidnapping features an undeniable "wash-rinse-repeat" quality. As is par for the course, the Al Bhed use a giant machine to take out our party, and we dispatch the contraption with relative ease. The only thing worth reporting is the development of Wakka's racism. One of the Al Bhed who tried to kidnap Yuna was Rikku's brother. Luckily, no one on either side died, lest we condemn Rikku to awkward family reunions. All kidding aside, Wakka goes from being supportive of Rikku to subjecting her to a wave of religious intolerance.

The game has earned the right to turn Wakka into a bastard. Wakka used every opportunity he could find to proselytize Yevon. To call him a "zealot" would be an understatement. Wakka also shares why he hates the Al Bhed on multiple occasions. The death of Wakka's brother provides context to his racial intolerance. You may not agree with the suddenness of Wakka's turn against Rikku, but again I think the game justifies its actions. Wakka's hatred is a byproduct of his adherence to Yevon. It is meant to come across as a "blind hatred." When Rikku confronts Wakka, he stumbles on his words as he repeats the same script other Yevonites babble when confronted about their belief system.

This scene features a powerful message: intolerance is not logical. There's a darker side to Yevon the game masterfully builds up. When our party is at an impasse, they divide along ideological lines. The Yevonites will argue one perspective, and the non-Yevonites will articulate a different one. This religion hasn't just corrupted Wakka; it has corrupted our party's ability to work together.

Part 62: Hold The Presses! Seymour Is EVIL?

Our party pilots several Al Bhed snowmobiles as they make their way to the Macalania Temple. Lulu and Tidus have a few words together during their journey. Lulu lowers her guard as she thanks Tidus for working with Wakka despite his previous blow-up. It's a fun scene where the game hints at Lulu's wavering faith. Tidus once again asks Lulu to question the teachings of Yevon, and Lulu doesn't know how to react.

Our intrepid guardians are greeted by the elderly Tromell as we enter the Macalania Temple. The temple's dark corridors and ominous music add to its enigmatic mood. The mood and tone of the level convey a sense of an impending cataclysm. You know this will not be a simple meet and greet with Seymour. Herein lies my major issue with the Macalania Temple. The level is an exercise in inevitability rather than "natural" storytelling. Instead of front-loading Seymour's "fall from grace," the game relies on his physical design and mannerisms to justify his villainous turn.

The game is obstinate in its unwillingness to develop Seymour as a character. Seymour's patricide is obviously a power play. To what end is a question the game leaves open for hours. When Yuna takes up arms against Seymour, there's a lack of context on why this is happening. For all the time the game provides Seymour to extol shitty affectations, you'd think it would spend some of its time justifying his reasoning. Shit, even Sephiroth got a hot minute to talk about wanting to become a "God" before he set Nibelheim on fire.

What caused Seymour to gravitate towards Yevon's teachings? Are Seymour's objectives complementary or contradictory to Yevon's? Why are the Guado lock step in agreement with Seymour's policies? These questions are niggling issues when you consider the "bigger picture." How Seymour relates to Sin isn't explained until AFTER we kill him. Seymour is overwhelmingly pointless until this is filled in.

The game's only recourse is to rely on Seymour's character design to justify his turn to the darks side. Humor me for a minute on this issue. Let's say Tidus and Seymour swapped character designs. If you saw Tidus babbling Seymour's lines at the Macalania Temple, I doubt you could stifle your laughs. The way Seymour gesticulates is even more ludicrous. He menacingly gestures his pointed fingers as he drones about how superior he is to the party. These lectures always feel empty. His supposed impressive displays of power occur in battles the player needs to win. Never have I seen a game put so much effort into a character and get so little in return.

Part 63: The Only Good Seymour Moment Is When He Dies

I can almost forgive the game for ruining Seymour's fall from grace. The battle against Seymour and its conclusion salvages an otherwise superficial set piece. It is the second phase of the fight which left a distinct impression. Seymour's summoning of Anima and Yuna's summoning of Shiva are both fabulous showcases of the game's technical prowess. I wasn't mad when Anima used its Overdrive and wiped out Shiva. That Overdrive is FUCKING COOL! When Seymour goes down for the count, the game regains its momentum. Yuna's pilgrimage has resolved the biggest threat to its completion. What could go wrong?

Completing the Macalania Cloister of Trials is horseshit. YUNA ALREADY HAS SHIVA! Earlier she explored the temple with Seymour and gained the temple's Aeon. Why the fuck do I need to guide her through a temple she's already probed? Need I remind you we just murdered Seymour! YUNA NEEDS TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE! What are we doing wasting our time trying to solve this bullshit puzzle?!

I rarely discuss the mechanical nuances of the temples, but in this case, I'll make an exception. The puzzle for the Macalania Cloister is murderously tedious. Like its predecessors, it devolves into pushing pedestals and moving energy orbs to the exact locations the developers want you to. They are puzzles best solved using a guide because solving them any other way could waste hours. What I want to talk about the Macalania Cloister of Trials most of all is its "Reset Switch." I am referring to this thing:

This switch resets the placement of the pedestals and orbs to their original positions. The developers included this because it is possible to fuck yourself over on the Macalania Cloister of Trials. My problem is this switch is placed next to the temple exit. After toiling away at the temple puzzle for what seemed like hours, I was inches away from exiting the temple. Then I stepped on the reset switch on accident.

I had to complete the puzzle sequence ALL OVER AGAIN! FUCK THAT, AND FUCK THIS GAME! WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THIS?! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

But all is forgiven because our escape from Macalania is BADASS! Yuna and her entourage make it out of the temple but are immediately accosted by the Guado. Now led by Tromell, the Guado surround our party. Seeking revenge, a swarm of Guado Guardians chases after us. As our motley crew attempt to leave Macalania they are pursued by hordes of soldiers. It is a tense and masterfully crafted scene. Escaping Macalania is ostensibly a short affair, but the tension makes the simple exercise feel as if it lasted a lifetime.

For this level in particular Final Fantasy X's musical score hits it out the park. That moment when you realize you can't outrun the Guado Guardians, and the music crescendos as they get closer, is one of the most thrilling moments in the game. The music adds to the tension of our hasty retreat two-fold. Give this track a listen and try to tell me you don't feel you need to get shit done quickly! It's GOOD!

Part 64: Do Giant Space Whales Dream Of Electric Sheep?

Just when it seems as if we are home free a new batch of Guado Guardians attack. This time the Guado soldiers are accompanied by a "Wendigo." The battle is rather straightforward, but how it concludes is not. The Wendigo punches apart the ice lake we were standing on, and everyone falls into an abyss. While the Hymn of the Fayth plays in the background, everyone marvels at the ruins of another ancient city. It is a breathtaking sight to behold.

Apart from a few missteps, I loved this scene. With laser guided precision the game provides time for the audience to process what occurred in the previous scene. I would also argue the game benefits from offering a few character moments before progressing the story. Tidus's interactions with the supporting cast develop their arcs ever so slightly. Tidus and Auron have a verbal tiff when Tidus objects to Auron's action-oriented thinking.

What I dislike about this scene is how it briefly uses Rikku for fan service. I wish I were joking. Watching Rikku attempt to make a pass on Tidus is gross. There's no other way I can describe this abomination of a scene:

The purpose of this trashy scene is to allow Kimahri to declare poignantly "Rikku should stay Rikku." Great! Did this game honestly need a throwaway self-discovery scene moments after we murdered a priest? Where are Final Fantasy X's priorities? The story regresses further when Yuna awakens from her brief coma. She concedes she was planning to convince Seymour to confess to his crimes in exchange for her hand in marriage.

I'm sorry, but I cannot drop this. Yuna would marry a MURDERER to convince them to confess to their crimes? THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING SHE HAS EVER SAID! Did I mention how Seymour MURDERED HIS FATHER?! That's not exactly what I call "marriage material!" Yevon's false veneer hasn't been stripped away completely, and Yuna still sees fit to honor her religious teachings. So I don't know... how about sending a letter to the Grand Maester of Yevon? Why is Yuna's first recourse to bribe Seymour with marriage?

With my pointless grousing behind us, let's jump back into the story. Auron reminds Yuna that her ability to access the Fayth remains unchanged regardless of her relationship with the Church of Yevon. He advises Yuna to continue her pilgrimage and disregard Yevon's teachings. The Yevonites overrule Auron, and they set their sights on the holy city of Bevelle in a quest to seek forgiveness. This scene may sound superficial, but once again the story uses it to its benefit. The game divides the party along ideological lines and uses Tidus to smooth things over with our different party members.

Complaining about the illogical nature of Yuna's plan is fun nitpicking, but as long as the story maintains a "heart," all can be forgiven. Watching Rikku express gratitude to Tidus for calling her a "friend" adds to the emotional core of an otherwise ridiculous adventure. Need I remind you we are on a quest to murder a giant space whale named "Sin?" I continue to feel invested in Final Fantasy X not because it features a believable story, but because the characters mean something. Showcasing characters with "heart" is where Final Fantasy X truly excels.

I'm still trying to maintain an open mind regarding the game's use of Jecht. I respect the game for tackling alcohol abuse. It is equally laudable the game shows different perspectives regarding Jecht's alcoholism and redemption. The source of my criticism stems from the story failing to elevate itself beyond its superficial scaffolding. Tidus oscillates between outright despising his father to viewing him with compassionate regret in record time. Before Tidus promises to put his father out of his misery, we watched Auron implore Tidus to think about his father differently... ONCE! That is not enough context to justify Tidus changing his perspective on his abusive father. I find this a shame because Jecht is the game's most "liberating" character. He's a character not painted with broad strokes, as is the case for most of Final Fantasy X's cast.

Part 65: Bikanel Desert Sucks SO MUCH!

What the fuck is this game's problem? Every time I want to give Final Fantasy X credit where credit is due, it subjects me to vapid bullshit. The Bikanel Desert ranks high in my power rankings of "Least Favorite Final Fantasy X Levels." The Bikanel Desert is in welcomed company with the likes of the Calm Lands and Mount Gagazet. Bikanel Desert's high encounter rate in addition to giant sandworms is a recipe for disaster.

It does not help our party has been split up, and Yuna is nowhere to be found. At least the developers allow for Rikku to use Al Bhed Potions in Yuna's stead. It's as if the developers realized this sequence is mechanically broken! This nonsense is secondary to how much of a slog navigating this desert can be. You are left to your own devices to piece together where you need to go. All the while you'll fight colossal monsters who admittedly aren't difficult to beat, but take forever to put down.

This level is a giant middle finger to the audience. Arbitrary design decisions define every part of Bikanel Desert. The enemies aren't difficult, but they are programmed to have more HP than some bosses. Say what you will about the highroads, but at least those levels were linear! The Bikanel Desert is an empty wasteland! It is neither fun to play nor pleasing to look at. It ends up becoming a level which overstays its welcome, even if it was only around for a few minutes.

Things are not all doom and gloom at Bikanel. Storywise the island develops an interesting dynamic with Rikku. She ends up guiding our cast of misfit toys through the perilous desert. Rikku concedes to knowing the area as it houses the Al Bhed homeland. While the Yevonites of our party are skeptical of her actions, Rikku steps up to the plate. Wakka predicts a pending betrayal at the hand of Rikku which never happens. The level serves as a friendly reminder that Rikku values the well-being of her friends regardless of what they may think of her. It is a small character building moment which establishes our empathy for Rikku, especially considering what is about to happen.

Part 66: Home Is Where The Heart Is Unless It Is A Smoldering Ruin

For all my moaning and groaning the events at Home are among the game's most emotionally evocative. The Guado's genocide of the Al Bhed is a compelling set piece through and through. It is a scene which complements the game's earlier due diligence for Rikku. Rikku's visible grief adds to the inherent tragedy of the scene. Our sympathy grows for Rikku as she explores the ruins of her homeland and witnesses the massacre of her people.

My only nitpick stems from how Home closes the books on Wakka's intolerance. Wakka sees the ills of his racism after a single act. An event like this should have been the culmination of a series of perspective-shattering events. Wakka should have been forced to soften his stance regarding the Al Bhed several times before entering Home. This quibble doesn't upend what happens in Home. It's just what occurs here could have been more resonant had it not unfolded like your typical Final Fantasy fare.

Home is a "cheap shot." It is an act of deliberate roughness against a defenseless opponent to elicit an emotional response from the audience. And do you want to know something? That is why it works. The Al Bhed are a race of defenseless nomads connected to the most impressionable member of Final Fantasy X's cast. I could continue to moan about the convenience of Wakka's change of heart, but who cares so long as it serves a greater purpose? Yevon is a faith based on zealotry and intolerance, and this scene further highlights its corrupting nature. When the spectacle is as affecting as Home, you feel motivated to absorb the scenery as it comes your way.

There is one "elephant in the room." I am caught between two worlds regarding the use of the Al Bhed language. I accept Rikku actively translates the spoken lines of Al Bhed dialogue in a prompt manner. I will also concede the utilization of the Al Bhed language adds to their cultural distinctiveness. I just wish collecting the Al Bhed Primers wasn't a complete bore. I dare any of you to argue assembling the Al Bhed Primers is a fun exercise. I double dog dare you!

Home is the ONE SCENE where you want to know what the Al Bhed are saying. In their grand wisdom, the developers made it impossible to have completely translated lines of Al Bhed dialogue at Home. It is a minor point in the grand scheme of things, but when the culminating event regarding the Al Bhed happens, my desire to pick up the Al Bhed Primers plummeted. Don't you dare get me started on the save swapping feature. That shit is pointless busy work!

Part 67: Hold The Presses! THERE'S A PLOT TWIST IN A FINAL FANTASY GAME I LIKE!

As Rikku leads the party into the catacombs of Home, we locate several summoners tucked away in a chamber. It is here where Final Fantasy X plays one of its many trump cards. When Tidus inquires why the Al Bhed are so obsessed about kidnapping the summoners, Rikku painfully explains what happens when summoners call upon the Final Aeon.

I make no qualms about this. The discovery at the "Summoner's Sanctum" is the most well crafted moment in Final Fantasy X. My mouth was practically agape when I learned about Yuna's fate. It's not that the reveal was especially surprising, but more or less how it adds weight to the story. Listening to the other summoners justify their willingness to sacrifice their lives is heart-wrenching. My heart honestly dropped when Isaaru states to Tidus, "I've known since I was a child. My will is set. If I do not do it, someone else must." Additionally, watching Isaaru and Dona "Send" the Al Bhed who died protecting them continues the story's intended agony.

It is worth pointing out how subtle the game hinted at this plot twist. As mentioned in the previous blog, whenever Tidus exclaimed his excitement of reaching Zanarkand the camera would pan to pained expressions on the faces of the cast. The awkward pauses in between Tidus's hysterical shriekings have a deeper and darker meaning. The reveal at Home adds greater meaning to the Al Bhed's attempts to kidnap Yuna. While I still view the abductions as unintentionally comical, they feel more tragic in hindsight. Knowing they could not implore the Yevonites to stop, they resorted to kidnapping.

Speaking of Tidus's histrionics, this is one of the few scenes which justifies his overacting. Tidus initially laments the impending death of Yuna, but ultimately comes to regret how he painfully reminded Yuna of her inevitable demise. Tidus breaks down and loudly weeps. It is a rough scene to watch, but one the game earns the right to convey. Our journey has been relatively light-hearted beyond our fight with Seymour. Adding stakes to a story usually comes at the cost of removing levity, and this is something Final Fantasy X masterfully does. Yuna's destiny isn't a one-off moment. This development proves to be a uniting issue for Tidus and Rikku as they seek to discover a new solution to defeating Sin.

I am a humble man with modest tastes. So it is with great pleasure I admit I was wrong. For the longest time, I thought the moments of silence between Tidus's exclamations were a byproduct of poor editing. I initially suspected the awkward jump cuts showed the characters humoring Tidus's ignorance. The dramatic reveal at Home is a gut punch I respect more in hindsight. I wish this were the only plot twist in Final Fantasy X. I mean... FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Part 68: Sometimes You Just Need To Accept The Spectacle For What It Is

Final Fantasy X is far from finished in tenderizing your heartstrings. Tidus encounters Cid as he makes his way to a mysterious Al Bhed vehicle. The Final Fantasy tradition of "Cid" being an excellent character continues. Final Fantasy X's Cid is a simple man with a singular goal: prevent Yuna from sacrificing her life. There's a rawness to his words whenever he interacts with Tidus. When he body slams Tidus on a desk after promising to protect Yuna, you can't help but root for the guy.

What is even more powerful is how Cid's furious rage transitions to crushing sadness. The Al Bhed have been devastated. The scant few Al Bhed on the airship are all that remains of their diverse and beautiful culture. The fleeting moments after Cid orders Home's destruction is THEIR MOMENT. As they unsteadily sing the "Hymn of the Fayth," they become all the more real. They need this spiritual hymn just as much as the audience does.

I appreciated how the game encourages you to explore the many chambers on the airship before progressing the story. Tidus's one-off interactions on the Al Bhed airship allows for the previous events to resonate better. Interacting with the Al Bhed underscores their sorry state of affairs. The summoners, on the other hand, express varying degrees of commitment to their pilgrimages. The most sentimental of these occur when you convince a shaken Dona to continue with her pilgrimage or to stop.

Where do I even begin with the Evrae boss battle? The Evrae boss battle marks the point in which Final Fantasy X ramps up its difficulty. This dragon-like worm is a master of status effects. On the onset of the fight, the monster unleashes several attacks which inflict the petrify and poison conditions. It does not help Evrae's A.I. provides a "raw deal." If the player hesitates to remedy the petrify status on one of their party members, Evrae's next move will be to shatter the petrified character. This removes them from battle permanently.

The presentation of this boss fight is incredible. Similar to our bouts with Sin, the camera dynamically reacts to the action on the screen. Watching the beast snake through clouds as it pounces on your party is a breath-taking sight. Cid's salvo of missiles adds to the cinematic nature of the battle as you pull away from Evrae to provide your party with a brief respite from the action. It is an unrelenting tour de force of visuals and gameplay.

The final example of having to accept Final Fantasy X at face value comes when the cast first enters Bevelle. The characters grind on cables to crash Yuna's wedding like they are motherfucking Tony Hawk! I should hate this scene, but I can't. It's a big dumb thing, and one of the few times where I am glad the game revels in its stupidity. As moronic as the scene may sound it does an excellent job in underscoring the importance of interrupting Yuna's wedding to Seymour. After an onslaught of morbidity, the game goes out its way to provide a cheap thrill to remind you of happier times.

Part 69: None Of The Characters Make Any Sense!

Boy howdy are the next three hours of Final Fantasy X a complete betrayal! Yuna's actions are utterly stupid. Seymour's plot for world domination is unreasonably overwrought. Finally, at no point is any set piece in Bevelle or Via Purifico fun to play. That's what I'd like to call a lose-lose situation.

With Tidus as the de facto leader, our party ascends the steps of Bevelle to interrupt Seymour's marriage to Yuna. While the introduction to the wedding was wildly spectacular, the scene immediately grounds itself in a bland and unsexy structure. Each step we take subjects us to a blitz of warrior monks and attack robots. The structure of taking a few steps and then fighting a new wave of baddies repeats itself six or seven times. Within minutes the game sucks out the narrative's momentum.

What is especially heinous is our long slog to the wedding chapel is all for naught. Kinoc pulls the rug from underneath Tidus as armed warrior monks surround him. The wedding continues without issue as Seymour kisses Yuna and they consecrate their marriage. It is around this time Yuna realizes she is a summoner and can use Valefor to fly away from danger. I cannot begin to list the MANY times she should have done this exact act in prior scenes; lest we forget the four occasions the Al Bhed abducted her.

Why did Yuna wait until AFTER she kissed Seymour to leave Bevelle? She saw Tidus on the steps of the chapel ten minutes ago. Why not view that as her cue to beat a hasty retreat? Now she has to hope she can find a priest who will annul her marriage. When the game depicts Yuna as a moron, it's hard to sympathize with her plight. SERIOUSLY, WHY IS THIS THE ONLY TIME YUNA USES HER SUMMONS TO GET OUT OF A PINCH?

Let's set our sights on Seymour. I know it is an anachronism, but I would like to discuss Seymour's motivation in marrying Yuna. Seymour wants to marry Yuna because he intends to become the next Sin. The game's obstinance in concealing Seymour's motives adds to the confusion. Why Seymour views marrying Yuna as the best way of completing his master plan is never addressed. If Seymour wants to become Sin why doesn't he become a Guardian? Likewise, how is the leadership of Yevon not aware of Seymour's ulterior motives? I'm sorry if this section of the blog comes across as futile questioning, but this entire story arc fucked with my brain.

Part 70: The Horror! The Horror!

Ascending the steps of Bevelle was a slog, but at least it was a quick affair in service of a few impressive CG cutscenes. Exploring the Bevelle Cloister of Trials is an assault against human decency. Never have I felt so insulted by a puzzle in a role-playing game. It starts off with Tidus pushing a pedestal into a platform. The platform then transforms into a transportation device. This is your gateway to Hell.

In theory, the Bevelle Cloister of Trials wants you to use timed switches to explore different catacombs in the temple. In execution, I wanted to punch out my computer monitor. You have no clue where the Temple wants you to go, or what order you should explore the different catacombs. The aimlessness of the cloister is compounded by the fact everything in the temple looks the same. The neon colored scaffolding doesn't change depending on where you find yourself. Worse of all, you can start the platform switches to where it is impossible to reach your intended destination. Why? Because "FUCK YOU" that's why!

There is one element to Bevelle I enjoyed, and it involves Tidus. There's an air of independence to Tidus he didn't have before. Instead of relying on the Yevonites, he freely schemes with Rikku to figure out a new way to defeat Sin. Tidus's defiance comes to illustrate a shift in his perspective. While Lulu, Wakka, and Yuna still hold on to their religious teachings, Tidus isn't having any of it. While the internet gravitates towards his more histrionic side, the game develops Tidus into something more dynamic.

The good tidings do not last long. In a brief dialogue, Yuna discloses the Fayth are human souls imprisoned to serve the demands of summoners. We are unable to process this news as temple guards surround Yuna and Tidus. The game quickly juxtaposes to Yuna on trial. With the likes of Kinoc and Seymour as the judges, you know this is a sham trial. While the circumstances lack nuance, the scene progresses the story nicely. Yo Mika is revealed to be an "unsent" alongside Seymour, and the church leadership pleads their case. They are more interested in maintaining the status quo as it provides a brief respite of peace to a land defined by chaos. Humanity may be in a purgatory of sorts, but its continued existence is guaranteed.

Final Fantasy X isn’t exactly shooting for the stars, but this development does what it needs to do. Yo Mika is less than half the character Dr. Zaius is, but he serves a defined role the game was building up. Sin's destruction of Spira created a power vacuum the leaders of Yevon were more than willing to oblige. The constant terror of Sin allows for Yevon's theocracy to rule unimpeded. As long as there is Sin, the people of Spira will continue to turn to them for hope. It's a plot twist you saw coming a mile away. Additionally, the game made Yevon's hypocrisy something of a recurring joke, which also diminishes the impact of this reveal.

Part 71: More Terrible Rigmarole

Yuna's sham trial rules predictably against her. The trial condemns both she and her Guardians to death in the "Via Purifico." GOOD LORD IS THE VIA PURIFICO A TERRIBLE LEVEL! Via Purifico somehow bottles the worst design decisions found throughout Final Fantasy X. The game divides your party members and provides no guidance on where it wants you to go. When we control Yuna's group, Via Purifico becomes a timed switch puzzle much like the Bevelle Cloister of Trials. Ultimately the scene crescendos to a battle against Isaaru.

I have already ranted on my dislike of Summoner only battles. They are sluggish affairs which play out far longer than they should. What I find especially objectionable is how willingly Isaaru takes up arms against Yuna. Moments ago Isaaru witnessed his church massacring the Al Bhed. Isaaru also freely ushered the Al Bhed who protected him into the Farplane. The man knows his church is both corrupt and run by homicidal maniacs. Why is he readily carrying out an order he knows is wrong?

I have to ask. Why are Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka the only ones capable of swimming? Is Lulu afraid of ruining her dress made of belts? 90% of Spira is water! How does anyone not know how to swim in this world? Is Auron secretly the Wicked Witch of the West? Is swimming condemned in Yevon's teachings? Why am I stuck with Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka whenever there is an underwater level?

When everyone reconnects and leaves the Via Purifico, Seymour is there to intercept them. Seymour murders Kinoc as he marches to Yuna. He also absorbs his entourage to transform himself into a towering behemoth. There's no pomp beyond the battle itself, and from this point forward Seymour becomes an over the top anime villain. What little nuance there was to his motives dissipates in favor of providing a schlocky JRPG villain the story didn't need.

Every one of Seymour's boss battles is a different slice of Hell. This version of Seymour is a magic and status effect producing asshole. Foremost, Mortibody is a dick. That fucking thing is a walking gut-punch. In one move it can remove any positive status effects you have on your combatants. Seymour isn't a slouch either. Whoever programmed Seymour to have the ability to one-shot Aeons needs to get cracked. And why the fuck is this game obsessed with bosses shattering party members who have the petrify status effect? That's fucking bullshit!

Part 72: OH DEAR GOD! SOMEONE, PLEASE MAKE THE J-POP DISAPPEAR!

I will warn the seven of you who have reached this portion of the blog with a disclaimer. Suteki Da Ne broke me. My willpower shattered once the scene had finished. Many years ago I jokingly said I wanted to become the "first person to die playing a Final Fantasy game." It appears this has happened. You are in fact reading a blog written by a ghost.

Our return to Macalania starts innocently enough. I would go a step further and argue the non-CG character moments with Yuna are the best she gets in the game. Spira as she knows it is crumbling before her. The one thing she cherished the most, her faith, is a falsehood. Her terse manner of speaking frames her as being in a state of despair. Tidus's earnestness is well-earned. The cast practically begs him to talk to Yuna to cheer her up. When Tidus finally converses with Yuna, his annoying enthusiasm is toned down and avoids coming across as condescending.

Both characters shine between Tidus's apology to Yuna's affirmation to continue her pilgrimage. Tidus's redress feels like a desperate plea to stop Yuna. Yuna's asseveration exudes that of a painful apology to Tidus. Final Fantasy X makes the most out of its limited resources to its benefit. I can't deny feeling a brief twinge in my heart when the camera slowly panned to a crying Yuna as Tidus described Zanarkand.

I have to give credit to the writing. Tidus ceases trying to convince Yuna to stop her pilgrimage. His aim isn't to challenge Yuna's resolve, but to discover a different solution to defeating Sin. Yuna's resolve isn't unreasonable. She desperately wants to bring peace and happiness to Spira. Her altruism has defined her throughout the story. They are a classic case of "star-crossed lovers" if I have ever seen it.

The "Suteki Da Ne scene" will go down in the record books as one of the worst attempts at romance in video game history. Most of my problems stem from the exhibition painfully coming across as "designed by committee." The love scene is a pastiche of tired and true anime tropes. A J-Pop love ballad was included to increase the game's widespread appeal. It provides a visually distinct CG cutscene to push the technical limits of the PS2. But the scene does not work.

God this scene is bad; I cannot believe how bad it is. In many ways, it is edited like a college art house project. Like, why is the camera not centered for most of the cutscene? Why weren't images properly cut so I could see Yuna and Tidus? What is this green and blue bullshit covering the screen?

What is even happening? One moment ago Tidus and Yuna were standing in the middle of a lake. Later they are floating into the abyss! Are Tidus and Yuna flying in the air, or are they swimming? Where did all these stars come from? How are they breathing underwater? Why is there a current dragging them in a lake? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING ANYMORE?!?!?!

I have ignored the largest technical handicap the game has in depicting Tidus's relationship with Yuna. While Tidus can call Yuna by name, the same cannot be said the other way around. Because Tidus is a nameable character, Yuna must get "creative" when calling out to him. Not being able to call the primary love interest for the female lead by name, is a bad design decision! You'll watch Yuna express her love for Tidus, but the fact she cannot say his name holds back the earnestness of her confessions. It also adds to the awkwardness of the dialogue. Instead of saying "Tidus" Yuna instead uses "he," "him," and worst of all "Star player of the Zanarkand Abes." What a shitshow! I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE! I'LL SEE YOU NEXT EPISODE!