I'm Playing One Of The Worst Final Fantasy Games Ever Made For Ten Hours... FOR CHARITY!


It's time to do some good in this world!
It's time to do some good in this world!

Why, hello there! As the title of this blog might suggest, I will be a participant in the Giant Bomb Community Endurance, the yearly springtime user-run charity effort on the site! This year, the Giant Bomb Community Endurance Run (i.e., GBCER) will be returning to its regular charity, Pencils of Promise. Pencils of Promise is an education-based charity that works with developing nations to establish literacy programs and bring clean access to water to parts of the world where that's not currently in place. Countries they are currently working with include Ghana, Guatemala, and Laos. Should you donate, 100% of your donation goes to their charitable efforts and NOT executive pay. If you feel motivated to contribute, here's a link to my donation page!

DONATE NOW OVER HERE: https://fundraise.pencilsofpromise.org/fundraiser/3170776

Now, this being a charity effort connected to a video game website can only mean one thing: a soul-crushing amount of video game-based livestreaming! Yup, across the three days that the GBCER will be held, I will be streaming on every single one of these days. I'll be going one step further and be streaming an additional day to bring more attention to the event in general and get a head start on a "filler game" that will serve as a backup should any of my other plans go wrong. As is usually the case, most of the selected games are meant to inflict some form of torture upon me. While some games are indeed "good shit," how I will be playing them all but guarantees I will have a "bad time." If you want to get round-the-clock updates of when my streams will be starting, here's a link to my Twitch that you can follow!

ZombiePie's Twitch Account

Day #0 (Thursday, April 8th; 4:30 pm PDT) - Walden, a game

Starting off with a
Starting off with a "show stopper."

Ah, Henry David Thoreau, who would have predicted you becoming every under-graduate literary class's whipping boy? Thoreau's "Walden" is accepted as both a seminal work of American literature and an indictment against the man's well-documented hypocrisy. For me, that will all come to a head as I play anywhere between three to four hours of Walden, a game. Yes, they indeed made a walking simulator in which you play out the life of Thoreau as they debate such things as the necessity of taxes and the inhumanity of the American slave trade. What's better, I will be subjecting myself to these lectures while also mending clothes, tending to a bean field, and catching fish. This is, of course, a video game.

There will be no notable "donation incentives" for this stream. As such, feel free to join me when you can and marvel at the sheer audacity of Walden, a game. If you want a taste of what to expect, be aware, Thoreau's stamina meter is labeled "Inspiration." You replenish this "inspiration" by relaxing in front of campfires, listening to the sounds of nature, or reading books. There are also cutscenes in which we will watch Thoreau recollect his memories about going to jail for tax evasion. Moreover, we can meet up with Thoreau's long-time friend, Ralph Waldo Emerson, who is voiced by, of all people, Jim Cummings. I'm not joking about that! This video game got funding from the American National Endowment for the Arts to snag a well-established voice actor. It's a wildly pretentious video game, and I hope you can revel in the pretension with me.

Day #1 (Friday, April 9th; 4:30 pm PDT) - King of Dragon Pass

No Caption Provided

And now we come to the one game I am genuinely looking forward to during the GBCER: King of Dragon Pass. For those of you who have never heard of King of Dragon Pass, goodness, you are missing out on the most remarkable Frankenstein's Monster in the history of video games. King of Dragon Pass is one of those video games that is its own genre. It cannot be encapsulated under any current umbrella terms, and no video game captures all of its ideas and genres into a single package. It is a passion project that tanked when it was first released and later got a second wind when it came to Steam. It's an oddity that must be seen to be believed, and most importantly, it has duck people who have offended the gods in their hedonistic way of life.


Alright, so here's my plan. No matter what my selections may be in the start of the game, there will be a TON of choices to make. As such, anyone who donates $2 or more should include the letters "A," "B," "C," "D," "E," or "F" in their comment. Should you do so, you will hard lock me into picking that option, regardless of the circumstances, and force me to live with the consequences. Trust me when I say this, if I get enough donations, it will lead to only the funniest shit in this game. Some choices could immediately doom my playthrough within the first in-game year, whereas others will take time to bit me in the ass. If you have never heard seen this game in-action before, tune in because it's going to be a fun time!

Day #2 [THE MAIN EVENT] (Saturday, April 10th; 11 am PDT) - Final Fantasy II

And before you ask, no, this is not the
And before you ask, no, this is not the "good" Final Fantasy II.

Whelp, here we go! On Saturday, I will be in a one-on-one race to get as far as possible in Final Fantasy II, a game I have called one of the worst video games I have ever played to completion. As I once mused about many years ago, how the Final Fantasy franchise managed to survive Final Fantasy II and III is one of life's great mysteries. It's an insultingly bad game and one whose best ideas were never carried over into future entries. Yes, Final Fantasy II has novel mechanics that laid the groundwork for things to come. I get that. Nevertheless, Final Fantasy II is a wasted opportunity. It is a game Square-Enix honestly wants you to forget about, and some, including myself, would argue for good reason. If you're going to watch the cavalcade of dark pain that is this game, then buckle up. You are not prepared; no one can prepare themselves for Final Fantasy II.

It's a bad time. Even if you approach it as a weird experiment that didn't pan out, it's a tiresome and annoying experience from beginning to end. Worse, I will be making my experience all the more miserable by applying the rules of the "Nuzlocke Challenge" to my Final Fantasy II playthrough. That's right, should a character die during my stream they are effectively "dead" forever. In an RPG like Final Fantasy II, that is effectively a GG. To make matters worse, I am turning this into a "race" wherein my close friend @thatpinguino will be playing alongside me. However, I will be playing the fan translation of the NES version of Final Fantasy II, whereas he will be playing the PS1 Origins port. Before you ask, yes, there will be a slight advantage in his favor considering his version of the game is less broken and runs faster. But do you want to know what I have? Heart.

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I do this to myself?

Donation Incentive - DONATE TO NAME MY PARTY!

The donation incentive here is pretty simple. There are four namable characters in Final Fantasy II. If you place a bid and request a name, I will name that character in your honor. The nameable characters are Firion, Maria, Guy, and Leon. However, nothing is set in stone, and this will be a bit of an auction. If, for example, someone donates $50 to name Guy after their dog, someone else can donate $51 to call that character something different.

Day #3 (Sunday, April 11th; 12 pm PDT) - OpenRCT2

Two out of four games being
Two out of four games being "kosher" is better than nothing. There was that time when I played FF13 for two days....

And we now transition to the game that I have the least information about as specific challenges are purposefully a mystery right now. For those of you that tuned into my Extra Life charity stream last year, you may recall thatpinguino and I attempting to create the most nightmarish theme park possible in OpenRCT2, the community-made total conversion mod for RollerCoaster Tycoon 2. For Sunday, the two of us will be doing something similar, but this time around, Gino will be torturing me with a variety of tricks and challenges that I will not know about until the stream starts. If you have any nostalgia for the old RollerCoaster Tycoon games, or maybe enjoy dabbling in Planet Coaster, it should be a hilarious time.

There are no donation incentives for this stream unless Gino permits them. And again, I wish I could tell you what this stream will entail, but I honestly do not know. I can only assume that I will be making at least one Vakoma SLC whose sole purpose is to knock your spine out of your body. Like my Extra Life stream, I will confirm that only the worst coaster models and variants will be allowed. So, if you want to watch me create nauseating Heartline Twister Coasters or Corkscrew Coasters that look like they would give you a migraine, this should be right up your alley! Hopefully, all of this sounds fun! With that in mind, here's another reminder to donate to my Pencils of Promise Page and to check out the GBCER Announcement Thread for more details!