I’m still at it, forgot why? Read my initial blog here!

I loved RE4 back in the day, and I found out I love it still now, read more here.

I honestly don’t want to spend very much time on this game, in short, I absolutely hated Resident Evil: Revelations. Alright, thanks everyone for stopping by.

On to...

If only I could be let off so easily. Essentially from beginning to end I thought everything about the game was a mess, or misstep, or mishandled, or misguided, boring, annoying, etc. My perception of the general audience’s perception of the game was that it was good to mediocre, had some redeemable qualities but overall was a good experience that seemed to correct and realign the franchise in a way that hardcore fans wanted them to return to. Again, that was my perception and what I thought going in. Afterwards, I’m honestly surprised anyone was like “Oh yeah, Revelations 2 was announced (released), let’s do this!” That may shine some light on RE6…. At this point, I won’t be surprised if my writing isn’t very clear, I tend to bungle up my words and thoughts when I’m emotionally writing about something in either a very positive/negative way, so let’s begin and I apologize if I make zero sense.

My biggest issue with the game is the story and how it was laid out. I could very well see my opinion change from hatred to a shrug level of acceptance if the story and layout of the plot wasn’t such a god damn travesty. First off, I hate multiple playable characters that are alternating as the story is laid out to us. I didn’t like it very much in the Call of Duty games that I’ve played (do they still do this?) and just don’t think it works, it especially doesn’t work when the story is jumping back and forth through time and therefore means there is going to be no consequences for their (or others) actions. See how events play out from others perspectives is an interesting idea that could be interesting, do some world building and show motivations for others, Revelations doesn’t do any of that. If the story was more or less just Jill, Parker and the ship with Chris showing up later in the game, it would’ve worked much better and ultimately even the weak story wouldn’t have been that much of an issue. These are Resident Evil games, for the most part they don’t have amazing stories, they are fun, silly, campy and in general harmless. Revelations was trying to be way smarter than it thought but, shocker, the plot twists were shown a mile away if not from the moment you met characters you knew what they were going to eventually do. Say what you will about CVX, but finding out that Ashford was crazy and was dressing up as his sister was a plot twist that surprised and engaged me in what was going on. Finding out the head dude was bad was obvious from the get go, Jessica being bad was obvious, Raymond being a poorly designed character, poorly acted character, and in general just terrible was not a twist. Alright, Parker being involved somehow was a “twist,” I wasn’t surprised but I did go huh, didn’t absolutely see that happening. Even then I didn’t even know what the fuck he was actually doing that made him involved in the process, just like everything else in the game made little to no sense as it was playing out. When I finish a game, but have to go find a synopsis because I have no idea what just transpired, that is not a good thing. It either means there was so much going on I couldn’t keep up despite grabbing my attention (The Godfather or Sapranos for me, something about Italian names just throws me off when I try to follow films, tv shows, etc), you info dumped at the end and I didn’t catch everything so I wanted to reconfirm what I learned and what I might have missed, or I was so bored and done with your product that I don’t care and just want to move on at this point….. yet I want to know what happened still. RE Rev is somewhere between 2 and 3, they saved so much plot for the end (hey, it IS a Resident Evil game after all) AND I was so annoyed and bored that I literally just put the controller down at the last boss and said fuck this, and hoped that the credits would roll soon. BUT OH WAIT, there’s more, another fucking flashback that explains little to nothing, again there’s more, another boss battle that was extremely fucked and bullshit (I’ll take the blame on this, I was so mad that I had to continue playing that I wasn’t actually doing that great in the fight and that made me even more mad, honestly the last battle was alright). Finally credits….. and another bullshit cutscene that means nothing with two characters that don’t matter, that haven’t returned since nor should they…alright I’m done with that.

No I can’t, what the fuck is up with some of the design choices in this game? Who the hell designed Raymond, gave him Conan hair with a shitty shade of red and said THAT is our plot twist/bad guy/hench man. You know what, if they actually got Conan to do that performance, this is an amazing game……alright I checked, it wasn’t Conan. What was up with Jessica’s outfit? When I can tell someone is bad JUST by what they were wearing, you done fucked up. See how Jill was wearing a full body suit but was still Sexy…. Jessica tried to one up her….by cutting an entire leg cover off? To impress and seduce Chris? What? Man…..

I don’t want to talk in detail about other negatives, I’ll just list others and if someone wants to counter I would love to read thoughts and reply in the comments.

• The controls were terrible; the aimer was awful. I played the PS3 version, maybe the ports were that bad, I doubt it. If there was some form of run button I think that would’ve helped me personally, it felt really uncomfortable to try and “run” while turning, just never got the hang of that so I had to stop, turn, then run, etc.
• The Magnum was shit, they ruined the magnum, my favorite weapon type in these games was useless, thanks.
• I thought the enemy types were dumb, even though Oozes are more parallel to zombies than the basic enemies in 4, 5, 6, it just didn’t work for me. I have stated before I’m not a big fan of the slimy, squidy styles that the series eventually turned to.
• Oh my god, these are probably my least favorite version of the hunters in the games so far. So fucking annoying.
• Outside of Raymond, “Jackass” is one of the worst characters I’ve seen in a while. Give him a nasally, whiney voice, incredibly nerdy, stupid headgear and a nickname like Jackass, you will get one of the worst characters in the series. Even better is that the character who you control with him has zero personality and I didn’t even know his name until the credits…and immediately didn’t remember it.
• Turret sequences!!!!!

Now talk about some positives…positives…positives…as a whole I didn’t think the ship was a bad setting. There could’ve been more involved in the setting, but other things took away from it, but for what it was I didn’t enjoy the ship parts, had a good atmosphere occasionally. Rachel was a good boss, a nice homage to Nemesis, and was saddened that she didn’t show up in some capacity in the end and have some effect on something within the story or events that took place. Regardless the design was creepy and the very first encounter(s) were some of the few highlights I have of the game. Stated earlier, the ending boss, now that I look back on it, was fun, interesting, and different. I could’ve performed better during the fight and become less frustrated but it was a loss cause at the end so I’m giving the Abyss Tyrant (forgot his actual name) a pass. Oh and the giant boss that you fight after he fucks up the elevator was pretty good too. The guns and customization stuff was interesting and led me to spend more time than I should’ve swapping upgrades and trying to find the best match for my style and weapons. Not great and downgraded some weapons overall, but was an interesting, somewhat successful idea. Parker was alright, wouldn’t mind seeing him in the future…..yup.

I don’t know what I really expected from the game before I started, maybe something in between RE3 in terms of I find the game fine/tolerable and RE4 in terms of combat, what I got was a frustrating, boring experience that as I continued to play and advance, I got more and more annoyed. If I wasn’t doing these blogs or had a goal to play all these games, I would’ve quit playing…..around chapter 8, 9 or 10, and I rarely quit games. When I quit playing your game, or reeeeeeeally want to quit playing your game but continue out of ulterior motives (Revelations for blogs/RE series playthrough, BF4 for only game on the PS4) that means I find your product a waste of my time and ultimately fucking garbage.Told you I didn't want to spend much time with this, sorry for writing too much but I'm not even going to take the time to find pictures/gifs to go with this blog, I just want to be done with RE Revelations.

AND I’M STILL incredibly excited to jump into RE5, like tonight or tomorrow (at the time of this writing). And that says a lot. I played RE5 at the time the game was launched, this coincided with my……..3^rd(?) attempt at being a fan of the franchise, and proceeded to end with 5 (I could’ve reread my initial blog to find out but I’m too lazy right now). I accept 5 as a good/fun game that I enjoyed my time with, but it was not the follow up to 4 that I wanted at THAT time. Unfortunately I lost my RE5 save on my YLOD PS3 so I won’t be able to just play with all the weapons I had unlocked and fully maxed, that wouldn’t be a pure experience so it is probably for the best that I’m doing a fresh playthrough. Anyways….

On to…or you can read my thoughts on RE5, CRAZY, right here!

I don't think Chris is excited or impressed by anything other than Albert Wesker and his own guns in the mirror.

I did say that Revelations had a nonsensical plot even by the low standards of Resident Evil. Still, I thought it was okay. It has a little too much baggage from being a portable game to be eminently great, but you clearly liked it a lot less than I did.

I still maintain that RE5 is great. I'm not sure if you'll feel the same way.

I really loved revelations, it was like a dumb b movie you would see on tv in the middle of the day. The shooting felt better than any other resident evil which isn't a very high bar, and the setting was cool.

I was pumped for revelations 2 but boy what a steaming pile of crap that was. Atleast it wasn't expensive.

I'm actually in agreement that Revelations is really overrated. I'll never understand why people think that is so much better than RE6 or even RE5. It's not even close. RE5 and RE6 are still my favorites, with RE6 being my favorite by a country mile. On a bright note, Revelations 2 is actually much better, especially from a plot standpoint. It also has the dual protagonist thing, but it is much smarter about it, and actually has a pretty good story. Much better acted, and with some decent twists and turns. So, yeah, in no way judge Rev2 from Rev1's sins. There's a big gulf between them.

@gunstarred: Agreed, don't understand why the seem to try and force a relationship/sexual tension between him and various girls. Chris has always struck me as married to the job and that is really all he cares about, along with saving his sister which coincided with the job. But Leon and Ada's sexual tension through the games seems to have made the devs think that Chris needs a counter to that as well.

@arbitrarywater: As I said I'm excited to return to 5, will be very curious if I end up disappointed like I was back in 2009, or playing through the series as helped me realize what it was all along and how the series slowly transformed. Its a different perspective than I had back then so that can only bode well for RE5, right?

@quarters: Your enthusiasm for RE6 helps me get excited for 6, I have no idea what to think of that game! I haven't really heard anything negative about Rev2, and its nice that the only have 2 protagonists rather than Revs.....4 or 5 that you play.

@nightriff: I'll warn you ahead of time, I'm apparently not in the majority for RE6. A lot of people treat it like a travesty, but I just don't get it. Part of the reason why people take issue with it(and RE5 to an extent) is that they start taking themselves a lot more seriously. However, I think they actually pull it off pretty well, thanks to some really strong performances from the leads. The character interplay in RE6 is the most realistic and well realized of the entire series, but that is part of the reason some don't like it. They want it to stay with the goofy, B-movie stuff, instead of changing into something else. Gameplay-wise, I think it's the most fun of the post-RE4 stuff, due to the sheer amount of movement options available. However, some didn't like that either. It's a really polarizing game. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Mass Effect 3 coming out that same year, RE6 might've been my GOTY for when it came out. But then, other people think it's an abhorrent game. Just a really weird case. It could go either way with you, to be honest. I guess you'll have a better idea after RE5. Like I said, RE5 is my second favorite, due to them starting to take themselves a little more seriously(and actually pulling it off pretty well), and also how it resolves kind of the main story arc to that point. I think it's a great finale to the Wesker/Umbrella stuff.

I actually liked this game quite a bit. I never ended up finishing it, but I did play probably about 75% of it. 360 version. I don't remember that much about the story, so I guess the worst that I can say is that it's forgettable. I did enjoy the combat and boss battles, though. It had a good atmosphere when it was just the ship stuff, and those sections felt as close to the old-school RE games as the series has gotten in a long time. Any time they switched away to a different character, it totally broke the immersion and any tension that was being built. Although I did like that part where you were escaping the office that was under attack by all the hunters. And yes, Raymond was a TERRIBLE character. Not fitting of the series in any way, shape, or form.

In any case, I think Revelations 2 is actually a bit better. Especially for a budget game. Good interplay between characters, fun combat, and a wealth of extra content for not a lot of money. The two major boss fights in it were pretty bad, though.

As for RE6, I've said it time and time again. It's one of the most frustrating, disappointing, and soul-sucking gaming experience I've ever had. That game is raw fucking ass, no doubt about it.

@quarters: You're a madman. I sorta like RE6 for its bombast and willingness to swing for the fences (no matter how much it misses) but I cannot in good conscience call it anything other than a bad game (albeit a guilty pleasure). Even the shooting, which has some neat ideas and occasionally hits a bright spot, is ruined by all the insta-death QTE/Set Piece nonsense it throws at the player, especially when it comes to Ada and Jake's stories.

Yah I will unapologetically say that RE5 is the best in the series, but RE6 is at best a flawed curiosity and at worst a complete mess. I too enjoyed some of the bombastic moments it introduced but every time the cutscenes ended and you had to keep playing it was rough.

That said, I think anyone who in this day and age still gets excited about anything Resident Evil are out of their minds.

Me user review!

Parker Luciani is an awesome character. He's obviously not the most well fleshed out, but he has enough personality going for him that he certainly stands out amongst the crowd. Though that may also speak to the general quality of characters in this series, but even besides I think Parker is an alright fella. Has some fun banter with Jill and really puts across the portrayal that he's someone you can fall back on; he's like a sort of cuddly grizzly bear that you can hug one moment then sick on your enemies the next. I'd say much of the dialogue in general makes for the high-point; just a lot of silliness going on, like how Chris's states ''you should have worn your thermal underwear'' all cheery and such as Chris does. Or how O'Brein says ''I'm a bad mofo'' when you hold up the Genesis scanner over him during the beach tutorial segment...

But yes, Jessica was stupid and her costume designs were really tacky - I do like her strange, 1950s-esque FBC outfit with the little hat and pink radio, though. The two 'comic relief' also characters felt forced, and the constant character switching in general really ruined the flow of the game and took away from the feeling of isolation for Jill's portion. I also still have no clue what the story is exactly... Like, FBC were trying to raise awareness of BOW outbreaks by instigating more BOW outbreaks...? Also, fun fact regarding Evil Old White Guy: he's Gen from Street Fighter. No, seriously, he even has the same palm strike as Gen in Raid mode.

Gameplay wise I found myself respecting Revelations more so than actually enjoying it. They tried to merge the old & new together, with the same third-person shootery but now set within a more open environment with claustrophobic corridors abound. But unfortunately it kind of misses the mark in both categories, as the shooting isn't nearly as satisfying as RE/RE5 nor is the atmosphere especially evocative. That, and too few puzzles. I also really disliked how you always had an invincible AI partner in tow; seems to me that they clearly intended to have this feature coop in the main story but opted out of it. It even features single-player coop doors!

I think it's OK overall, though it's actually much better on 3DS I'd say. The game looks better for starters, due to the smaller screen, the Raid mode is much better balanced, and there's a few neat touchscreen interactions in there. Plus, while I could never play with it on for very long, it has some really striking 3D effects when you turn it to full.