The Giant Beastcast: Episode 191

When I read “sexual magic” I was reminded of the orgasm gun from Orgasmo.

I need the burstcurst so bad right now

Beastie time.

The battery in my phone lasts a month.
I charge my phone about 12 times a year.

vinny is 1000% correct re: phones.

Just gotta say, they DO make new cheap phones. I got a new phone 2 months ago and it cost me $100. It's an android and it uses whatever apps I try, so acting like you HAVE to pay a premium every 2 years is crazy. I had my last phone for like 4 years and it was a cheap one when I got it, and the only reason I got a new one was because I shattered my screen.

Vinny is right. My best friend still has a flip phone and it works fine.

I just upgraded to a smartphone from a flip phone I've had for the better part of a decade and wait just a second, I need to think about upgrading this shit every two years? I thought the most I would have to do is swap out a battery or something.

Have a flip phone and buy a GPS for your car! I still have the iPhone 6s and love it. Smartphone treadmills are stupid and they should continue to support software on older phones for at least ten years.

Hey Jeff - the Pinkertons in fact DID attempt to sue Weezer, the day before the album in question was due to release. It was ultimately thrown out of court.

Charlie Brooker used to write for PC Zone magazine. I remember the letters page which was just him insulting all the people who wrote in. He also had a website which was him just making prank phone calls.

I also like the contrast of Jeff on the Bombcast being all coy and embarrassed about the Gearbox story vs. the Beastcast being all lol squirters.

Jeff, on the side of 'Buy more, and more expensive phones': Well, let me bring up how much you have to spend on a car.

Making Vinny's point for him??

I love how re: the Gearbox story Jeff on the Bombcast was like "hey heads up, we're gonna talk about gross stuff here", but Vinny don't give a fuck and just goes into the gory details. Seems like it would be the other way around.

I love when Vinny talks about Exapunks. I really have to pick it up. Modulo is used a lot in programming. Good example:

x % 2 == 0

^ Used to check if x is an even number, or change that 0 to 1 and you're checking if x is an odd number. '%' is often used as the Modulo operator in many programming languages.

This phone shaming hurts me. My iPhone 6S is still running very well after 3 years and I’m super happy with it.

On the flip side in Jeff’s defense a Technics SL 1200 record player will last you forever if you take decent care of it. They’re built like tanks.

Still using a Samsung Galaxy S5. Its fine. It even plays Drew Scanlon approved games like Holedown and Solitairica.

Also, Ace Combat 4 had the best story because it was the LEAST anime. FACT.

Ask Peter Cullen if someone can do the same voice 30 years later.

I can appreciate mortal kombat and what it has done for games

I enjoy ridiculous shit like the story of mortal kombat

I got no shade for you if you like mortal kombat

As a fighting game to play, I fucking HATE mortal kombat

A lot of the stuff they've added looks kinda whack, but I'm gonna give this one a shot because I'm not responsible with money

The Life is Strange choice is some real bullcrap. Like yeah it's a real dilemma, but it's incredibly contrived how we got here. Somehow using your time travel magic conjures snow, two moons, whales stranding and a giant typhoon? Just the must bullshit literal interpretation of "butterfly effect"? And the way to solve it isn't to make any different choices with different effects, it's to do the emotional thing and shoot your best friend slash possible crush? What kinda superpower comes with the caveat that if you use it to save people, storms happen? Not even any other people. You save the life of the suicidal Christian chick just fine. It's just her. Like what the hell man.

Choices in games fall flat for me most of the time 'cause they're so obviously false. Is it heart-wrenching to decide to kill someone in Mass Effect 1? Not really, 'cause the same story plays out anyway. Is it tense to choose who lives and dies in the Walking Dead when the other person has to die a couple scenes later anyway? The nature of resources means they can't make a game where you have to entirely separate routes. That makes it hard to care on anything other than a principal/customization level - "I wanna be nice, I like this person better so she gets to live longer".

For me, my favorite choices in games are visual novel routes, 'cause since that's just text you actually get entirely different stories with those same characters. I also like the way you can kill or not in Undertale. There's obviously only one moral way to play it, which gives you way more content and story, but having the option to always murder someone the Dan Ryckert way means my pacifist route feels inherently more meaningful.

Nier Automata's true ending choice was also impactful, 'cause I still feel bad

The re-launched Nokia makes quality phones running stock Android that are reasonably priced. You still have to deal with the B.S. planned obsolescence when software updates stop after a few years, but that's pretty much unavoidable, sadly.

The first game I ever completed was Mega Man 2 with my step-brother. Once we rolled credits, we ran out onto the front porch shouting our victory to the sky.

It was a momentous occasion.

@ybbaaabby

Fun Mighty Beanz story. This must have been 02/03 and my 4 year old brother really wanted to get one of those "rare" glow in the dark Egyptian beanz on ebay.

My dad puts in a bid for $2 and walks away. My brother sees that he was outbid, so he puts a bid in for $3.50. My dad comes back to the computer soon after and sees that he just won the auction for $350. After a minute or two of freaking out, he realized that ebay is nice and reverted back down to a winning bid of $4, but that was the last time he left the computer while an open bid was on ebay.

"High traffic hole."

- Jeff Bakalar: Friday, January 18, 2019

It's astonishing to me that the Pinkertons still exist.

About 25 minutes in and old man Vinny has me cracking up

Vinny - I'm not out of order. YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! THE WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM IS OUT OF ORDER!! lol.

I look forward to the GTA Online feature since I'm sure it'll be great, but honestly my hope is equally strong that it never comes and the crew just keeps saying it's coming for sure, forever.

Wow, can't wait for the GiantBomb East movie!

I’m with Dan, a new Fight Night would be awesome. Even a ps4 version of Champion would be great.

Another person on the side of flip phones. I spend so much time in front of screens for work and hobbies that I definitely don't want the internet with me when I'm out & about. I have an atlas of my state in my car, and I use Mapquest for directions if I need them beforehand. That serves me fine.

I haven't tried the Impossible Burger, but I have tried its direct competitor, the Beyond Meat burger. The patty is definitely more meat-like, and I remember the taste being closer to that of actual beef, but what I remember most was the weird smell from the uncooked patty - like it was burnt. I've never smelled anything like that with any other veggie burger, and it turned me off to the whole enterprise. (Now, the *sausages* Beyond Meat makes are incredible, almost like the real thing. I stocked up the last time I hit a store that had them, and there're five packages of 'em in my freezer.)

Has anyone considered that Randy Pitchford thought way beforehand that someone was going to bring up that porn USB thing and went on that magic podcast just to get that version of the story out there as a preemptive cover?

@visualizer:

I don’t think they’re shaming having a 6S. They’re just saying buying a 6S TODAY is silly. Which I agree. You should be able to find a cheap 7 or 8 which will stay current for longer for very little more money.

That Jeff bit at the end was amazing.

Jeff's breathless monologue of toys he loved growing up was great, a perfect moment where I want "Ah, of course he'd end up at CNET."

The chemistry between the beastcast players is just too damn good.

It was really fun screaming "Republic Commando" into the void until they got there.

I'm with Vinny re: phones. I have a cheap LG phone and it does everything. I even use it for side gigs like Uber or GrubHub. I don't really know what people are doing with their phones that justifies a $1000 price tag.

Alex bought Constantine on Blu-Ray?

I'm all up with Vinny on the phones discussion. I'm still using Galaxy S4 and I'm having no problems. I've never had a plan with mobile Internet and it's been fine too. If I need to find something on the Internet quickly I'd call somebody or ask a friend that's nearby. When I'm out I prefer not to be staring at the Internet. I'm 24.

The main problem I have with most smartphones is that they're not made so that you can replace the battery very easy. It is possible to do with a lot of them, but it can be very complicated. I had my last phone for about 4 years, and I bought a new android phone for around $180 a month ago, mainly because I didn't want to go through with a very complicated operation to maybe successfully replace the shitty battery it came with. This time I made sure to that the new one had a battery with at least 4000mAh.

If you're looking to buy a new phone, I highly recommend looking through and comparing different ones on gsmarena. They list all the necessary specs and has great tools for comparing, and their reviews are great to.

Angry dad Vinny is best Vinny

@sethmode: god I did this same thing

I also almost died at high traffic holes

Vinny really sounded like an old man on this one lol

I love how Vinny became the protagonist of Dragon Quest Builders and is now the last person who wants to put things together and keep old technology.

Outside of swapping out some stuff and upgrading to Windows 7, I'm still using the Pentium 4 desktop I bought back in 2005 as my primary computer. Keep on truckin', Vinny.

Does Jeff expect people to buy a new 1000+ dollar phone every two years? Just because a certain company won't update older phones!

What the fuck?

@faridmon: Jeff's always been an ostentatious, snooty fuck when it comes to technology. He is incredibly judgmental.