I know I am
Blood soaked and unapologetic. Tits and guts thrown into your face and you either pull back appalled or grin and laugh it off. Splatter house rips the 2D horror fest of the 80's and slaps it into the processed quantity that is contemporary gaming.
This is horror in the sense that everything bleeds profusely and nothing dies less it's vital organs be splayed across the walls like some overwrought tapestry. You are a hulking beast with a single driving motive. All that is in your way is to be destroyed. The glaring eyes must be gouged out. The clawing fingers must be crushed into deformed fists. The screaming voices must be strangled into whimpering death rattles. So much death and brutality presented in such a casual format that the act of ripping the intestines of an unknown abomination out of its anus becomes redundant.
Consider it a joke or a commentary on society's portrayal of acceptable slaughter, this game wears a shit-eating grin as it shoves the deformed mechanics of what was once considered the height of interactive media onto a rotting frame and asks you if it's good enough. Overbearing and pleading or satisfying and telling? Do you want a happy ending or do you want to watch the horror consume you?
