Glory to all! The greatest game that should never have been is finally upon us. That's right, Super Drake Tracker 2000 EX, your premium Drake tracking and diet coke forwarding service is finally available for download FOR FREE. Get it on you nearest Apple phone, tablet, and Ouya (sorry, OUYA) today! (Not Android yet as my associates now inform me. I apologize for any inconvenience.)
Filter the data by airline, airport, and plane model and watch as the data draws in REAL TIME. How many mrems of radiation did John Drake intake into his genitals on his recent trip to the San Diego Comic-Con? 8! How many calories would John Drake have burned if he had danced during the entire duration of his Asia trip while flying? 15384! And to think this incredible resource of information was unavailable before today.
But that's not all. Feel what it's like to truly be John Drake and immerse yourself in his inner thoughts. Play Drakes on a Plane mode and sit on a random, eerily empty flight cabin, in REAL TIME, and stave him from the plight of insanity. The time keeps ticking but accidentally think about kids on a plane or Just Dance and hear him groan like a truly experienced disgruntled air traveler. Don't lose track of Diet Coke, Portillo's, and firing people for too long or otherwise Drake will go insane and forced off the one activity he loves most: flying on an airplane.
How else can you help John Drake's frayed mind? Why you can buy him the one source of sustenance that allows him to dance and occasionally sell video games: Diet Coke. Through the magic of the internet and this wonderful app, you can purchase John T. Drake one Diet Coke for the low price of $0.99! That's right, for the price of an entire game on your smart phone you can help feed the habit!
There's all that and more (bonus Alan Alda!) when you download Super Drake Tracker 2000 EX! Track his travels, feed his needs, and enrich your life today.