Spelunky objectively sucks: "No branching plot, character development, or meaningful choice"

You hit the nail on the head for me. I don't need every game to be open, requiring a grind, or fluffing its length with a big open world where you have to walk or drive between missions. A nice short story with high production values is perfect for me. I have a huge library of unnecessarily long games that I've never finished. Money isn't an issue for me personally, and a game like this is just what I want right now. I do get where people are coming from, I was broke a few years ago and hour per dollar was very important to me in a game. This game isn't for those people. That's what's great about games. There's something for everyone. I find it strange that people get so personally offended when a game simply isn't for them. I want a game to be entertaining for longer than it takes me to earn the money to buy it.

The last game that I beat was GTA5, and I was ready for it to be over a few hours before it ended. Outside of a few of my "go to" games, I don't need (or want) most games to be long. I'm looking forward to The Witcher 3, but I know it's something that will be a multi-month investment in my free time for the way that I play games. I won't be buying many long games in that time.

The outrage over The Order's length is very interesting. If the game is too short, then wait until it's cheap enough to be worth your money. Or just rent it. People act like they have to buy games at launch for $60. Things are only worth what people are willing to pay. I don't spend more than $30 on a meal, no matter how good it is. I don't complain that more expensive restaurants exist. They're not for me, and that is fine. Games are no different. Calm down, folks.

@beachthunder: Yuck, I want all those Spelunky hours back. What a piece of crap.

You're calling things that Ready at Dawn has openly stated about the game. Not every game has to about player choice or open world design. There is nothing wrong with a strong linear story driven experience.

That's fine if it is. I'll wait till it's discounted and enjoy it all the same.

This reads like an non-satirical version of Rab Florence's "I haven't played this yet" review

More fun game is guessing the GB score for it.

If Jeff reviews: 2-3 stars. If it's 3, he'll have soured on it considerably by the end of the year, to the point where he hates it.

If Dan: 3

If Brad: 4

If Alex: 3

Hey, people my age or nearing it. Remember when we joked about games becoming interactive movies when multi-media spec PCs started coming, and then how it went pretty mad with cut-scene rich JRPGs?

This is another step down that path. It's an interactive movie and by god I'm starting to think it should be priced like one.. $40 tops given playthrough-length averages and replay-value.

Nikolai Tesla developing the weapons alone is a good enough plotline for me.

Haters gonna hate

Who knows its not out yet, and when did well orchestrated games become bad?

Wow. That is the best thing I've read in a while. Thanks for sharing!

I sometimes imagine when I'm reading threads here, if it's actually possible to have a site where folks discuss games without judging and arguing over every damn thing that's coming out. Where, "I am uninterested in this.", doesn't necessarily translate to, "Fuck this piece of shit game!!!".

Well, no. Probably not.

Don't worry, we'll have to put up with all the same bullshit when that games comes out too.

Oh man I had a terrible flashback to about three years ago when half the forum posts on the site were titled "Callin it _____" and about how every video game coming out that year was supposed to be terrible.

Personally, there's a place for games like The Order on occasion. Its actually arriving at a good time for me, because I havent played a cinematic shooter thingy in a while.

So weirdly enough, it almost seems refreshing compared to a lot of the kinds of games that Ive been playing lately.

Fortunately, The Order hasnt deeply wronged me like it apparently has for many others in the gaming community, so ill give it a shot when the price goes down.

Pretty bold statements from OP. Haven't anything about this over the past 2 weeks. He's really stepping out on a limb here.

Yup, it is what it is.

In fact, I never remember the developer saying it was an 'open world sandbox' or 'pick your own adventure rpg' any other insanity people are making up to dig the game. If it sucks as a straight narrative adventure game - hey fine- then it is at least failing at what it is trying to do. But, people are making up reasons to hate it for what it isn't. I could even accept people saying, Yeah, I don't think this is what I want" thats cool, thats honest. Yet, let's sit back and see shall we before we kill it for not being something else.

Where is that happening? I haven't noticed any of that on Giant Bomb.

Man half life 2 sux no braching path fuck this gaem and fuk valv - haha

@dietlime: branching story lines would be nice but most games choose the linear story path.

A game that I would have like to bring into a different direction towards the end was LA Noire, hated the direction that 3rd disc went.

But yes I agree it would be nice if more games allowed us to choose the direction of the story.

I'm excited about The Order.

You know what the best part is.

NO ONE CAN STOP ME

Okay that's settled. You guys can close this now

Quick look due

It seems like you nailed a lot of what I've been seeing and hearing about the game.

Second post today on Giant Bomb ranting about a game the OP's haven't played. I genuinely think the forums are slowly degrading.

Why call something out when, at the time of creating the thread, enough information was around for a consensus to start being drawn? Calling it requires genuine foresight.