The Witcher 3 (PC)
Ladies and gentleman, after 85 hours of monster-slaying, gwent-dealing, sword-clashing fun, I’ve decided it’s time to write what may very well be the most bittersweet review I’ve ever written. On the one hand, I couldn’t be more excited to write a review on what very well may be my favorite game of all time. On the other hand however, words can’t express how sad I am knowing that I’ll never be able to experience the Witcher 3 for the first time again. It will always be great fun to go back to, but the novelty of the unknown will have worn off. But you guys didn’t come here to read my internal struggles. No- you came here to figure out whether the Witcher 3 is something you should play in your lifetime.
The Witcher 3 is story-driven RPG and there’s no two ways about it. Let me put this bluntly - if you haven’t the slightest care in the world for stories in video games then stop reading this review immediately and find another game to play. If, however, you possess an attention span that exceed that of a goldfish and are looking for a captivating story that spans continents, time, and a plethora of characters then carry on. We start in a little village located in White Orchard. It’s the quaintest of villages you ever could lay eyes on - that is, if it weren’t for the human-slaughtering griffon that’s wreaking havoc on its residents. Geralt and Vesemir (one of his fellow Witcher companions) aren’t here for the griffon, they are here for Geralt’s long lost love - Yennifer. Yet Geralt and Vesemir fall into the grasp of the griffon’s destiny, and hope they may somehow find their woman without being entangled in the monster’s claws. Its scenarios like this that make the Witcher 3 sprawl on for hours and hours, however it never feels dull. You’re often carrying out quests that have you scratching your head wondering “How in the hell does this get me what I need?” Keep in mind - that is not necessarily a bad thing though. The quests never feel dull, they aren’t fetch-heavy (ahem - looking at you Dragon Age Inquisition), and they always introduce new, charming characters that keep the game engaging.
For those that are worried about the engagement (or lack thereof) from Geralt’s character, I ask you this - give it time. He is dull, monotonous, emotionless, and stiff. Those familiar with the Witcher novels will know that those are intentional character designs by CD Projekt Red. He is supposed to be a morally ambiguous and heartless monster slayer. As you play the game, you’ll find yourself appreciating Geralt’s lifelessness when juxtaposed with the outlandish, foul, and bold antics of the games other characters. That is by no means saying that the game’s characters and world are unbelievable though. Developers at CD Projekt Red have created what very well may be the most realized world I’ve ever experienced in a video game. It’s all fantasy of course, but hypothetically, if the assets in this world did exist, this is what they would look like. Take the Crones for instance - three witches that live deep, deep in the swampy woods of Crookback Bog. I know, I know, fantastical witches such as these ones don’t exist in our world, but if they did, this is most certainly what they would look like.
It’s more than just the characters that make this world so believable though. CD Projekt Red have included the smallest little details to help bring Geralt’s world to life. The trees will bend and sway in the wind. Geralt’s armor will drip with rain on a stormy night. Puddles will form on the dirt paths when a heavy rain falls. It is, in every sense of the phrase, a living, breathing, world. There were times where I caught myself taking a break from controlling Geralt and instead soaking in the view for 10 seconds. And keep in mind, this isn’t some small world that CD Projekt Red has brought to life mind you. Nope - this world is (excuse my language) FUCKING MASSIVE! Beyond this, CD Projekt Red has filled this map with interesting architecture, fun side quests, awesome treasure troves, and oh-so much more. And while I know this may be hard for some of you, I highly suggest turning off the GPS route on the game’s minimap - just trust me on this. For the first 10 hours of play I found myself wandering through this world without really remembering the various buildings, towns, nook and crannies of Velen and its surrounding continents. As soon as the guide was turned off though, I learned the map surprisingly quick. CD Projekt Red has done a good job of making unique villages and towns that help serve as more than just eye candy, but as route markers as well.
With all that in mind, I cannot write an honest review without pointing out the game’s setbacks as well. For such a massive open-world game it's bound to have its bugs, oversights, and jankiness. From a technical standpoint, the animations and texture pop ins can vary from minor to atrocious. There is, for instance, a scene where two characters are “eating” at a dinner table. They comically slap their hands against their face (who needs utensils), yet no food is in their hand. They continue to scoop invisible soup from their bowls and slosh it into their mouths for a few seconds before cutting to a new scene. Another scene involved Geralt getting a beard shave, yet no beard or even his skin in general was properly loaded. It was just a skinless, jawless, alien impersonating Geralt.
Furthermore, those that weren’t a fan of the Witcher 2’s movement, controls, and combat system won’t find themselves in a very different place while playing the Witcher 3. Geralt has a slightly delay when turning, which leads to jars and plates crashing against walls when you’re navigating through tight spaces and hallways. Roach is no different. I can’t tell you how many times I ran past my destination only to get stuck against a wall, fence, or some poor, innocent, unsuspecting child. While it’s worth noting that CD Projekt Red has developed a ginormous patch that will offer an entirely new method of movement, I can’t help but knock this game for its obvious shortcomings in the controlling department (don’t even get me started on the swimming in this game).
Others may view this as 'more of the same, just bigger' when compared to Witcher 2. Others however (myself included), may consider this nothing short of a masterpiece. Unfortunately, with its technical downfalls, I’m not sure I can objectively call this a perfect game. Taking a page out of a fellow friend's book, I might categorize this as my favorite game of all time, yet you will never hear me call it the best game of all time. Those types of games need to be perfect in every aspect - including the technical parts.
(Note, since Giantbomb limits .5 point scores, I will give this a 5/5. Ideally it would be a 4.5)
