A poem
Wii Sports, Wii Sports, you rue my life
How you have plagued these days with smite
Into the abyss I should throw
This damn broken motion controls
When I bring the Wii to parties
Other games I bring just get teased
No More Heroes gets sold short
And Monkey Ball passed for Wii Sports
Wii Sports, Wii Sports, makes parties lame
When we take turns on the bowling game
These fake gutterballs make no sense
When a real alley has a liquor license
With a tennis game that’s shallow
Amusement sinks to a new low
For baseball, the programmers should yield
And let players control the outfield
For pitching controls rarely work
And batting seems to have some quirks
Plus it burns retinas to see
A field not of dreams but Miis
I can’t complain much when I realize
Wii Sports gives fat kids exercise
Moving their arms, make swishing sounds
As they play through all three Golf rounds
But golf isn’t as fun as it could
Why play as a Mii when there’s Tiger Woods
But at least Wii Golf isn’t as bland
As the worst Sports game in the land
Fragile as a butterfly
Inconsistent as a bee
Figuring out the boxing controls
Would dumbfound Muhammad Ali
Sometimes you punch, sometimes you duck
The controls for Boxing flat out suck
Should’ve warned players the Wii’s a sham
Yet 40 million sold across the land
Though I have enough class to say
I’d rather this be bundled than Wii Play
But 2 stars is what you will find
For the most overplayed game of all time
2 stars
