First of all, in order to understand the joke, you need to read this story. Then read this comment and its replies.
 
This story made me laugh quite a bit, and I want to prolong the laughter by sharing it with you guys. I don't expect to get a lot of replies, but I'm curious to discover what you can come up with. Basically, all you have to do is take the template in the story and change Greg Hastings with the user above you and add something funny (or not). I'll start.

 
Dear Jeff Gerstmann,

We feel you've abandoned your franchise, and we're going to commence making games called How To Properly Rate Crappy Games without Jeff Gerstmann.
 
Sincerely,
Activision's Value Division

That's some funny stuff...the article AND the comments.

lmfao, this guy's a riot! That was hilarious dude.

Dear AuthenticM,
 
We feel you've abandoned your franchise, and we're going to commence making games called "AuthenticM's Unfake Out-of-this-World Pro-Realism in Your Face Bam Jam Tournament '12!" without AuthenticM.
 
Sincerely,
Activision's Value Division

Dear FunExplosions,  
 
We feel you've abandoned your franchise, and we're going to commence making games called "Pre-pubescent Peter's shameful FunExplosions", without FunExplosions. 
 
Sincerely,  
Activision's Value Division