360 Avatars Can't Flip You The Bird Or Smoke Angel Dust

If you've got fantasies of beheading an Xbox 360 avatar, then using yours to steal a car and run over babies while you drive to your friendly neighborhood drug dealer, where you score a bag of dust and proceed to get dusted, I've got bad news for you. Firstly, you'll be hearing from my lawyers, who will inform you to get out of my head. Secondly, Microsoft has issued a list of things those cartoony things are forbidden from doing.

Specifically, the list, which comes to us by way of OXM UK, has been issued to developers in the XNA Indie Games program. Any of those formerly-known-as-Community-Games games that happen to use the system's avatars have to go through a peer review process to make sure they aren't crossing the line.

Where's the line, you ask? Most of them are pretty standard stuff, like violence that goes beyond what you'd see in a football game, or "excreting obscene bodily fluids or substances." There goes that avatar-based version of Don't Shit Your Pants I was working on...

But then there are a few guidelines that are aimed at the sanctity of the experience. Avatars aren't allowed to have their own identity. Since they're supposed to be a representation of the player, they aren't allowed to really break the fourth wall and attempt to interact with the player.

And then there's this one. "Avatars may leave innocents or bystanders slightly injured, but not dead." Weeeeak. What, you wouldn't pay 800 points for a multiplayer third-person shooter where the avatars blow each other to gory little bits?

If you're interested in the rest of the list, it lives on over here.

It's a shame avatars exist in the first place for us to have to put up with this business.

Wow, Microsoft really is turning into Nintendo.

Avatars are lame enough as is, we don't need a body of laws to govern their lameness.

Sounds like a whole bunch of i don't give a fuck anymore.

They are to scared of soiling their new family friendly image by having you give the flying fuck motion to a persons avatar while you shoot their grey matter out the back of their skull.

You're in my head, in your head, having a party

Why are there avatars again?

Imagine a game where your avatar steals your identity and you have to hunt him down to get it back by punching him in the stomach until he throws up and then dies. That idea is ruined on so many levels by these rules. Damn!

I wouldn't really care for avatar based games I just want full on regular games.

So basically anybody can make something that is really simular to avatars and then allow the player to do whatever they want.  This list is stupid to the point the only games that would use it are going to be those really dumbed down party games.

Way to limit developers, Microsoft.

Bunk.

That is funny.  The 360 is turning into a family fun box.

Is anyone really that suprised at this?

I just noticed, that's Kush's Avatar in the image. Nice to see the rapport between the staff and the community here at Giant Bomb continues to remain strong.

Am I safe if I have had similar thoughts, but about Miis?

"What, you wouldn't pay 800 points for a multiplayer third-person shooter where the avatars blow each other to gory little bits?"

Damn you're right Jeff, I would totally buy that game!

I actually did want a third person shooter that used avatars... maybe I am just odd.

"Violence that goes beyond what you'd see in a football game," does that mean I can kick people in the shins and headbutt them or trigger a riot?

Weak. I'm pretty sure people have died playing football, too.

aaaaggghhh, my dreams.....they're being crushed!

Funny, I heard Mii's in games could cut each other's heads off.

Hated them to begin with, so the list doesn't really bother me at all.

But you could do those things to non-avatar characters, right? Then why put these restrictions on avatar use specifically and not XNA Indie Games in general?

Ok, so wait, does that mean that a regular character, say Marcus Fenix, can chainsaw an Avatar in half?  The avatar is not hurting anyone, just being hurt.  Also it says bystanders and innocents, so basically no avatar pedestrians in GTA but you can have a multiplayer shootout between them.  Since who is innocent in a deathmatch?

Looks like Vinny.

They can't show you the bottom of their shoe either.

OH WHA BAM! You better believe I went there.

Is that Kush's avatar?

XBL avatars try way too hard.  I like the generic sameness that comes along with every 4th Mii.

My Rod Stewart Mii looks like Patrick Stewart.

So does my Martha Stewart Mii.

WHAT!  I CAN'T FLIP PEOPLE OFF!?  THAT'S LAME!

There was never a point in having them in the first place.

Seems reasonable to me.  The more interesting news is that avatar support is going into the XNA kit, which I never would have thought would happen.

Alright, fine. I'm getting out of your head, Jeff.

Wait, so does this mean that the avatar can go into space and fire the Death Star at an inhabited planet?  I'd be okay with that at least.

I was hoping avatars would fuck shit up. GO BANANA ON YA ASSES. his is indeed weak and weaker erer

No voice? Wait why?

I guess my plan for an Avatar game called Aswad Danceoff is still safe... whew.

My hope's of my avatar being able to blow shit up has been crushed.

no sidewalk smiles=mo purchase for me.

Hey, it's KUSH!!!! :D

I want to see a game where I can blow up avatars, however. CannoliCrasher is first to go...

too bad.