We don't pay a lot of attention to April Fools' Day around these parts, mostly because we spend the vast bulk of our calendar year not taking the video game industry too terribly seriously, so it seems just silly to hyperfocus on a single day of doing exactly that. Still, occasionally some good gags do come out of the industry's collective goofing of its audience, and every once in a great while, one of those gags actually sounds good enough to become reality.
One such gag was Saints Row: The Third's "Enter the Dominatrix" expansion. The update, which purported to give players incredible superpowers they could choose to use for positive or nefarious purposes in the world of Steelport, is now no longer just a nifty sounding gag. It's really real, and it's coming this fall.
Volition announced the expansion today, highlighting the various abilities your ultimate super-gangster would be able to take advantage of, while also explaining why all of the sudden you have goddamn superpowers.
Faster than a speeding cyber jetbike, more powerful than a roided-out Luchadore, able to leap flying aircraft carriers in a single bound... That's the power you'll find inside the Dominatrix. Use it for good. Use it for evil. Use it for whatever you want.
Aaaaaaand...
Saints Row: The Third - Enter the Dominatrix picks up immediately following the events of Saints Row: The Third. For centuries, alien warlord Zinyak has eyed Earth and its precious natural resources and females with a watchful eye. As he prepares an armada for invasion, he has only one worry: the Third Street Saints.
Once a simple street gang from Stilwater, the Saints have evolved into a global empire, replete with bombastic TV advertising and tasteful consumer products, the kind of TV advertising and consumer products that would give any alien warlord pause. Clearly, the Saints are the biggest badasses on Earth.
Now, in order to prepare his forces for domination, Zinyak captures the leader of the Saints and imprisons him in an elaborate virtual reality simulation. This simulation program looks and feels like Steelport, but it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. Here, you are a slave. Welcome... to the Dominatrix.
I maybe would consider calling into question the relevance or usefulness of Matrix-oriented gags in 2012, but see the thing is I get superpowers now, so really, who cares? Granted, those powers will come at a steep price. The expansion is currently set to retail for $29.99, which gives one the impression there is a good bit more content contained within than in the combined efforts of the DLC packs released for the game thus far. At least I hope that's the case.
Volition says we'll be hearing more about Enter the Dominatrix this summer.