Fighting Final Fantasy X Parts 26-37: Let's Talk About Blitzball and THAT SCENE... Yes "THAT SCENE!"

Part 26: The Boat Ride To Luca Is A Kaleidoscope Of Good And Bad

Never have I felt this conflicted with a story scene in Final Fantasy X. The boat ride to Luca is a stunningly erratic ordeal. It maturates Lulu and Wakka as close compatriots. Simultaneously, it provides a deluge of uncomfortably stiff asides between Tidus and Yuna. I have to question how many people wrote this game because many of its narrative after-effects reek of being written by committee. Fantasy X giveth and taketh away the fruits of its own labor.

The scene starts innocently enough. Our company is off to partake in a Blitzball tournament in Luca. Wakka surmises Tidus will encounter someone who knows him at the event. Wakka's ulterior motive is to use Tidus as a keystone to winning the tournament. When Tidus ascends to the boat's top deck, he overhears a conversation between Wakka and Lulu. Wakka and Lulu are settling their differences in a civil and respectful manner. They express their apprehension about Yuna wanting Tidus to become her guardian. Their skepticism is well earned. Both attained their positions after years of service to Yuna. Tidus is given his title within minutes.

The interactions between Lulu and Wakka surfaces context to each character. The two debate Tidus's right to hate his father, as both are orphans. A simple scene like this formalizes how on edge the citizenry of Spira are with the ominous threat of Sin looming in the background. The world of Spira is broken and destroyed, and the inherent tragedy of Wakka and Lulu never being able to know their parents solidifies this.

These fuckers are something else. Not only do they harass Yuna, but they impune her integrity. She's a summoner on a quest to prevent these bozos from being killed by a giant whale! Why don't they appreciate this? Their dialogue comes across as something a twelve-year-old would write. They sneer and scoff in the most generic way possible. Say what you will about Sin being a horribly transparent metaphor, but at least Sin isn't a moustache-twirling jag-off!

Everything falls apart when Tidus and Yuna are alone together. We are subjected to another guileless scene which projects the two as destined lovers. The game paints with broad strokes whenever Yuna speaks. Her defense of Tidus comes across as fawning, and this further damages her tenuous characterization. Up to this point, Yuna has been an emotionless representative of her religion. This does not allow for a compelling performance from Yuna's voice actor. Much of the game does well to transport you to the world of Spira. This scene is a painful reminder of the limitations of the game's design.

That's why I refer to the boat ride as being a “kaleidoscope.” Both positive and negative elements are blended into each other. Eliminating any scene doesn't dramatically improve the set piece either. Each serves a distinct role and removing any part ruins the set piece's purpose. This means you are left to shake up the kaleidoscope until you see a pattern you find pleasing to your eyes. Even then, there's bound to be a stray object which despoils the pattern.

Part 27: The Jecht Shot Minigame Is BULLSHIT!

You can't spell "WASTED MY GODDAMNED TIME" in a Final Fantasy game without a pointless minigame. The premise here is innocent enough. The narrative wants us to understand why Tidus harbors deep resentment towards his father. It even provides a flashback which validates this sentiment, but the game mangles its execution. There's something distinctly "wrong" about fighting the memory of your abusive father using a minigame. It removes me from the world for the sake of a cinematic demonstration.

I bemoaned Tidus's previous flashbacks, but at least they didn't subject me to inane minigames. Completing the Jecht Shot isn't fun! The prompts are doled out in quick succession. Completing the minigame is less about assisting Tidus, and more about having lightning fast reflexes. Want to know how I completed this minigame? I taped a piece of binder paper to my computer with the keyboard inputs on each corner of the screen. I shit you not, I did this.

Completing the minigame causes Wakka to react in amazement. As Wakka heads off to attempt the maneuver with his Blitzball team, Tidus and Yuna are provided a moment alone. This scene isn't a total failure. The game works its magic in conveying a "tale of two Jechts." Yuna transmits an image of a caring guardian whereas Tidus imparts the picture of a negligent parent. Each challenges the other with their own life experiences. Despite this strife, Jecht proves to be a uniting force. Tidus entertains Yuna with a tale of how the Jecht Shot got its name; Yuna expands upon Jecht's activities in Spira. There's a growing sense of "bonding" between the two. This is especially the case when the two discuss having to live in the shadow of their parents. Despite the scene being framed after one of the game's most prominent examples of ludonarrative dissonance, it somehow patches its many pieces back together.

There is one thing I need to get off my chest. I fear the game is attempting to have its cake and eat it. It is within reason Jecht saw the ills of his way upon entering Spira. Maybe my inkling suspicion of "inconsistent characterization" is unfounded, but I am skeptical. Tidus's prior flashbacks have been effective in framing Jecht as a derelict parent. The prospect of him somehow being redeemed is repulsive. Either the game backtracks its prior characterization, or it reveals Tidus to be an "unreliable" narrator. Both prospects are demeaning to what we have already seen and experienced. I'll try to remain open-minded to what the game offers, but I make no promises. You don't employ the specter of parental abuse and make it a side note to your fable. That's irresponsible storytelling.

Part 28: Luca And Sports Culture

Luca is one of Final Fantasy X's most fully realized environments. The metropolis is brimming with life and conveys a sense of vibrancy with each of its regions. Each backdrop conveys a distinct sense of place and culture. As a story set piece, it does a great job of foreshadowing new cast members and plot developments. With the introduction of Yo Mika and Seymour, we learn more about the hierarchy of Yevon. If there's one thing I cannot fault this game for, it's how it tries to introduce important characters on the best possible footing.

If only the circumstances were less superficial. I am talking about the Blitzball tournament. How could we forget about the Blitzball tournament? Wakka has not stopped fawning over it for the last hour. To its defense, Blitzball isn't entirely terrible. The presentation of Blitzball provides Luca its most evocative visuals. Watching water fill the sphere where Blitzball is played is one of the game's more breathtaking CG cutscenes. The brimming life of Luca also adds to the paramount nature of Blitzball. The sport has united different races, cultures, and religions under peaceful circumstances. This highlights the universal nature of Blitzball, and the intoxicating effect it has on its fans.

Things are not all roses and unicorns. The structure for the Blitzball tournament is a mangled mess. The tournament at Luca is presented as the "World Series" or "Super Bowl." Then the Besaid Aurochs enter what is ostensibly the finals after winning ONE MATCH! This is another example of the game's superficial structure sabotaging its intent. But this pales to how Luca castrates Blitzball's narrative importance. The game has spent three hours pontificating how Blitzball plays an important part in making society work. After we leave Luca, Blitzball becomes a side quest referenced in passing.

I cannot underscore how disappointing this is after watching the game frame Blitzball under such a prominent spotlight. There are multiple scenes where Blitzball is set up as a major influence on the practices of Yevon. Unfortunately, this all falls to the wayside. I have to question why the game would go to such great lengths to justify Blitzball's importance, then scrap most of those quaint ideas. The game's spectacular presentation seems wasteful given the circumstances. The lack of a narrative hook is a primary reason why I have no motivation to play beyond the required story match. SPOILERS: I still did!

Part 29: Luca And The Art Of The Frame Narrative

I know I have a reputation for pontificating about Final Fantasy games needing to use well-established literary techniques. My droning about Final Fantasy VIII needing to use the "Hero's Journey" is the most pretentious drivel I have ever written. Old habits die hard, but this time I want to discuss how a Final Fantasy game uses a literary technique to its benefit. I have something positive to say about the structure to a Final Fantasy story! I swear it is not raining cats and dogs.

Final Fantasy X is a great example of the "Frame Narrative" done right! The fable begins with Tidus asking the player to listen to his "story." From here, we are thrust into a story within a story. The purpose of the setting is Sin, and the ominous threat Sin poses to the remnants of human society. Each location shares a different detail within this frame. As the adventure progresses, details are painted inside this frame. The events at Besaid are a smaller anecdote meant to complement our adventures at Luca.

The largest deviation Final Fantasy X makes from the frame story is the cast remains the same. This provides Final Fantasy X an advantage to most frame stories. Compared to the initial premise, the Blitzball tournament is irrelevant to stopping Sin. However, Final Fantasy X uses Blitzball as a frame to understand other aspects of Spira which are interconnected with Sin. The effects of this seemingly extraneous event are attached to characters we care about. Watching Wakka put his life on the line to win a Blitzball match normally wouldn't mean anything. Because we have a personal connection to him, the event does.

The frame structure applies to every location we visit for much of the first half of Final Fantasy X. In isolation, the locations are only tangentially related to our quest to stop Sin. Does winning a Blitzball tournament help the cast in their quest? You would be hard-pressed to say "yes." Scenes like this are in effect, smaller stories within a greater story. However, because these smaller adventures progress Yuna's pilgrimage, they work to reinforce the story's basic frame. It is world-building with a structure.

This is why I haven't spent a ton of time skewering Final Fantasy X's story. Final Fantasy X has a structure which complements its breezy flow. If there's one major criticism to levy, the game avoids confronting its audience intellectually far longer than it should. Most Final Fantasy games would have at least revealed their trump cards by the time Final Fantasy X hits its middle chapter. If this is the only consequence, I'll take it.

Part 30: THE FUCKING BLITZBALL TUTORIAL IS THE PITS!

I have been beating around Blitzball long enough. I suspect there are plenty of you who enjoy Blitzball. I can sympathize with this perspective. The cinematic packaging for Blitzball is stunning. It does a great job in building a sense of excitement as your first Blitzball match draws nigh. However, I found nothing resembling a "fun time" in Blitzball.

Before we jump into the nitty-gritty, there are two undisputed aspects of Blitzball. First, the tutorial for Blitzball is DOG SHIT! The second irrefutable truth is how FUCKED your first Blitzball match is. For now, let's talk about how the game botches its Blitzball tutorial. I mean... look at this screen:

Let's pretend you are a member of the design team behind Blitzball. I know this is a leap of logic, but humor me for now. You need to teach your audience how to play a water-based future sport. Wouldn't it be prudent to include a "warm up" game for players to test run the mechanics? How about including an initial opponent with reduced stats so players are free to try out the logistics in real-time?

Wait, you think it would be best for players to watch a handful of instructional videos and practice Byzantine concepts in isolation? Isn't that the WORST WAY TO TEACH A PERSON? Blitzball is statistically dense, and I mean that literally. The game is a walking math problem, and the tutorial does a horrible job of explaining this. It emblazons a ton of information on the screen and never checks for proficiency.

Worst of all, there are entire gameplay mechanics the tutorial "yadda-yadda-yaddas." This forces the player to learn things, including how to equip techniques, on the fly! The Techcopy ability is the worst offender. The tutorial mentions it in passing, and you are left to your own devices to discover when to use it. To make matters worse, if you end up missing an ability worth stealing, you're back to the salt mine!

Part 31: It’s All About The Game Unless The Game Is A Trash Fire

Let's talk about the sport itself! I THINK BLITZBALL IS FUCKING TERRIBLE! It's probably the worst minigame I have played in a Final Fantasy game, and that's from someone who bred a Golden Chocobo in Final Fantasy VII! I'm not trying to argue the Chocobo racing in Final Fantasy VII is good, but at least I knew what I was doing. Whenever I play Blitzball, I feel like I'm subjecting myself to the byproduct of a fever dream. The blurry transitions and labyrinthine rules are something a person on Codeine would concoct.

Blitzball tries to masquerade itself as being complex. There's nothing complex about Blitzball! It's a glorified addition and subtraction problem. Whenever you experience a "break," you know exactly what to do just by looking at a couple numbers in the margin of the screen. Blitzball isn't a skill based minigame, it is a math problem you could find in an algebra textbook. The minigame's mathematical based nature continues well after the required story match. While the game tries to convince you there's a strategy to who you should recruit, there isn't. Just recruit players with decent growth curves and eventually, you will have a dominating team.

The second problem I have with Blitzball is how FUCKING BROKEN IT IS! After the required story match, you can take advantage of several exploits which all but guarantee your victory. The primary reason is the enemy A.I. IS FUCKING JUNK! The enemy A.I. is so goddamned stupid I am amazing this minigame shipped in this state. Moving behind your goalpost FUCKS THEM UP EVERY TIME! There are other ways to devastate the opposition. If you get the Jecht Shot early, it breaks the game. I am NOT KIDDING! The Jecht Shot allows you to take two opposing players out of the picture while shooting. This completely removes a layer of difficulty from the game. And don't you dare bring up the contract system! That system is THE WORST FUCKING THING IN HUMAN EXISTENCE.

None of the contracts are especially game changing, and because you may refuse any contract, there's no risk to be had. This means you can get away with soft rebooting to avoid having to deal with your players getting resigned. You can also use soft reboots to reset the prizes for league matches. So please if you would, repeat after me:

BLITZBALL IS FUCKING BROKEN AS FUCK!

Part 32: World Building While Faffing About

With the mission now being "find Auron," Yuna and Tidus trek through the many dazzling locals in Luca. It is a quieter character moment the game does well to include. As the characters walk the streets of Luca, Yuna is surrounded by a barrage of paparazzi. This complements the theme of summoners as a keystone to Spiran society.

The scene where Tidus teaches Yuna how to whistle is "cute." There's no other way I can describe it. It is another example of the game conveying a burgeoning relationship between the two characters. The presentation is far from perfect, but the scene is so damn endearing it works by sheer brute force of charm. I would argue this is the case for all of Tidus's interactions with Yuna. Well... except for one scene. Don't worry my children, we will get to "THAT SCENE" momentarily. The two of them treat each other with genuine honesty, and this just adds to the game's delightfulness.

Tidus teaching Yuna how to whistle sounds stupid on paper, and the execution isn't that great either. The "dead eyes" of the character models and questionable voice acting should ruin this scene. But it ends up working anyway. Watching Yuna provide a tour of Luca is another treat. Tidus is brimming with enthusiasm, and Yuna is more than willing to play the role of a teacher. We have two Final Fantasy characters interacting without an ounce of malice. What's there to hate?

It is worth mentioning there's a darker subtext to Luca. Luca is one of two major cities left in Spira, and the populace is obsessed with Blitzball for a good reason. Blitzball is the only release they have from their perpetual fear of Sin. The game does well to have Yuna say this to Tidus, and for Tidus to maintain his inquisitive nature. It is one of a handful of scenes where Tidus asks all the right questions. At no point does Tidus come across as being socially inept or unpleasant.

Part 33: Conflict Within Inanity

I wish this charm weren't in service of a ho-hum "damsel in distress" subplot. Half of Final Fantasy X's cast is female, and yet the game does not understand what it wants out these cast members. Is Yuna an independent figure of empowerment, or a perpetual damsel in distress? Is Lulu a cold figure with hidden depth, or a perpetual source of fan service? Then there's Rikku, and RIKKU DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT SHE GETS!

Let's use Yuna's character moment in Luca as a case study on the game's aggravating depiction of female cast members. We first enter a bar with Yuna and Tidus. The two are in the process of completing their quest to locate Auron. Tidus notices Kimahri being bullied by other members of his race. This verbal altercation gets physical as Kimahri punches one of the other Ronso. Amidst this chaos, Tidus discovers the Blitzball tournament has started without him. As Tidus watches Wakka prepare for the game, he comes to the startling conclusion that Yuna is missing. Upon exiting the bar, Tidus and Kimahri encounter Lulu. She informs the two that Yuna has been kidnapped by the Al Bhed.

The juxtaposing between the Blitzball match and our rescue effort is the best part of the scene. Be that as it may, there's no shaking away how needless this scene feels in the grand scheme of things. The Al Bhed make further efforts to kidnap Yuna, but those efforts are under the guise of reuniting Yuna with her long removed Al Bhed uncle. This kidnapping attempt stems from a segregated Al Bhed Bliztball team wanting Wakka to throw a match. These events are not explicitly attached to the game's primary frame, and this significantly reduces player investment with what follows.

I question what the game gets out of including this set piece. It isn't as if Luca is lacking in action tableaux. The fight with the Sinspawn and Auron's introduction are some of the strongest action moments in the game. Unlike those confrontations, no one comes out of this scene for the better. Following her kidnapping, Yuna feels less like a leader, and more like a naïve maiden out of her element. Minutes ago Tidus taught her to whistle when she needed help. So what the fuck happened?

There is one positive to pull from Yuna's kidnapping. Upon rescuing Yuna, she reveals that her mother is of Al Bhed descent. Lulu makes the point to conceal this from Wakka given his known prejudice against the Al Bhed. Wakka's prejudice is a topic for another time, but good on the game for establishing this theme before it rears its ugly head. It's another example of the game providing supporting details within its primary frame.

Yuna concealing her heritage doesn't make a lick of sense. Isn't Yuna's heritage public knowledge? Wasn't Yuna's father one of the most famous persons in the world? Hasn't Wakka seen pictures of Yuna's mother? How does Lulu know Yuna's heritage, but Wakka doesn't? Why does Yuna trust Tidus to keep this information secret from Wakka? HASN'T HE ACTED LIKE A TOTAL DIPSHIT THE ENTIRE GAME? NEED I REMIND YOU THE TIMES HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS A MEMBER OF THE "ZANARKAND ABES?"

Part 34: My Greatest Accomplishment In The History Of This Series

Before we talk about my monumentally amazing accomplishment, there's one scene I want to discuss. This scene occurs after Wakka's match against the Al Bhed team. Unfortunately, Wakka is out of commission. As the Besaid Aurochs prepare for the finals, Wakka announces his retirement from Blitzball upon the tournament's conclusion. He then names Tidus the future captain of the team. There's a resolute sense of finality to Wakka's words which I found to be poignant. The man has finally honored his brother as he intended to.

The relationship between Lulu and Wakka continues to be the most fully realized relationship in the game. Lulu lifting Wakka from his painful position avoids coming across as a carnal event. It instead feels like a special moment between two close companions. The game conveys this relationship without a heavy-handed exposition dump. The story uses the actions of its characters to speak louder than their words. This makes the scene all the more powerful and emotionally touching.

This is the part of the blog where you are hoping to read about me failing to win my first Blitzball match after ten or twelve tries. Then, in a fit of rage, I give up and curse the developers with a flurry of swear words. Amidst my despair, you were likely hoping to read about a broken man lacking the will to live. I hate to break it to you, but this is not the case. I won the match against the Luca Goers on my first try.

I was warned by many of you that the first Blitzball match was an abhorrent shit show. Your nightmarish tales made an impression on me. I prepared myself for the horror by consuming a few "adult beverages." I highlight this to place the monumental nature of my accomplishment under a more prominent spotlight. I was "impaired" as I fumbled with the controls and interface.

Let's make something crystal clear. I did not understand what the fuck I was doing. Passes were attempted at every second of the match, and I aggressively pursued tackles whenever provided the opportunity. I wasn't using any of the exploits I mentioned earlier either. After consulting a grim guide about this match, I attempted to play Bliztball legitimately before using the Jecht shot or turtling. Despite my sloppy play, the score remained 0-0 throughout the match.

What of the notoriously difficult Luca Goers? I suspect they consumed "adult beverages" before the match. They fumbled the ball constantly. I even intercepted several of their passes during the match. Even then, I only had two shots on goal. It wasn't until overtime when I realized you can shoot before a "break." I wasn't exactly in a state that could remember concepts from the game's tutorial. The Luca Goers had plenty shots on goal, but each was miraculously blocked by Keepa. This motherfucker was a literal brick wall protecting my goal.

Halftime rolls around, and the score is still 0-0. During the intermission, I am provided the opportunity to equip the Jecht Shot onto Tidus. I fucked this up and skipped equipping any "Techniques." What I did instead was even dumber. I moved each team member to the worst possible position. Tidus was a defender, Keepa was a forward, and some bozo was our goalie. The Luca Goers should have had a field day.

At some point Wakka replaced Tidus. The match was to be Wakka's "swan song," so it made perfect sense to sub him in. Wakka valiantly led the Besaid Aurochs to overtime as the score remained 0-0. This is where the story gets crazy. As you might expect, I forgot to equip Wakka's Venom Shot, and even forgot to change the positions of my players. I was set up for failure and heartbreak.

I passed the ball to Wakka upon receiving it on the initial break. I moved Wakka to about midfield before I brazenly tried to figure out which button would bring up the action menu. I accomplished this by smashing my left hand over every key on my keyboard. This brought up the menu, but I was on my fourth "adult beverage." I selected the "Normal" shot from midfield on accident.

Then, something magical happened.

I am not lying to you. This is real. WAKKA WON THE MATCH IN OVERTIME WITH A REGULAR ASS SHOT! This is the greatest accomplishment in my life. I got the maximum amount of satisfaction a person could get out of Bliztball. Wakka retired after scoring the winning goal. I don't know what the odds are, BUT THIS HAPPENED! As I watched him nonchalantly carry the Blitzball trophy, I had the biggest grin you could ever imagine. It was glorious, and I wish every one of you could feel what I felt.

Part 35: Auron Is FUCKING COOL!

When Final Fantasy X get's its shit together, it is a sight to see! The succeeding moments after the Blitzball match are among the strongest scenes in the game. The flow and accompanying action are a marvel to watch. The game does an effective job in crafting a sense of growing stakes. There's a sense of desperation by the characters which adds to the dynamics of the scene.

Auron is one of the few consistently good characters in Final Fantasy X. Everything the game attempts with Auron works. Auron's cool swagger adds to the mystique the game wants you to feel about him. There's a mystery to Auron you want to know more about. His calm demeanor doesn't prevent him from being an interesting character. The story's use of Auron as a keystone to Tidus's past is incredibly compelling.

Thankfully the writing doesn't resort to the "stoic ronin" archetype. Had Auron just been a badass in the background (i.e. Vincent Valentine), I would feel less enthused about him. Auron develops a sense of parental responsibility with Yuna after becoming her guardian. His kinship with Tidus is another well-realized interrelationship. The development of these relationships evolves Auron. He starts out as a cool and collected ronin, but as the story progresses we see a more sensitive and caring side.

As the odds stack against our party, Seymour Guado comes to our rescue. Seymour summons a horrifying looking monster named "Anima." Anima uses its magic and the various Sinspawn are dealt with. Much like Auron's introduction, Seymour's first "call to action" is effective storytelling. Seymour offs the Sinspawn too easily, almost to suggest he was expecting them. Seymour's earlier posturing establishes a more nefarious side to him. The game excellently remains committed to this notion as the story progresses. The only off-putting part I want to nitpick is Seymour's accent. It's wildly inconsistent, and a ridiculous impediment to an otherwise cogent character.

Part 36: What Is Sin? Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me, No More

Once our battle with the Sinspawn concludes, we witness Wakka announcing his retirement to his former team members. The scene I witnessed was touching. Wakka leaves the sport he loves with a sense of finality. It is AMAZING experiencing this satisfying resolution is hidden beneath fifty feet of GARBAGE! This is supposed to be Wakka's moment! Why prevent players from seeing this?

The game transitions to Tidus and Auron having an argument. Tidus is rightly pissed at Auron for dragging him into the far-flung future. I think we can agree Tidus's complaints are well-earned. I would argue the criticism of Tidus "being a bitch," is pure histrionics. Not enough credit is given to the game's efforts to justify Tidus's penchant for emotional outbursts. The game endeavors to convey a sense of Tidus being out of his element. Lest we forget, everything Tidus remembers from Zanarkand is DEAD! Expecting him to exemplify asceticism is untenable.

We discover Auron is originally from Yuna's era. Auron explains how he was a guardian to Yuna's father, Lord Braska. Auron was accompanied by Jecht on Lord Braska's pilgrimage which defeated Sin ten years ago. Somehow, Auron can transport himself to Tidus's timeline as he assisted in raising Tidus when he was younger. As I wrapped my mind around Auron being a time-traveling samurai, the game goes ahead and drops a massive bombshell.

This is a dumb plot twist that works. Considering my harsh rebukes against previous Final Fantasy games, this may come as a surprise. Once again, the devil is in the details. The pivot regarding Sin is more about developing what we already know about Spira. It doesn't wantonly add-in a new ingredient to an award-winning recipe. I decried Final Fantasy IX's plot twist because it served an arbitrary genre shift, rather than developing its characters. The revelation that Sin is Tidus's father furthers the game's development of Tidus. This is why Sin works, whereas the clone nonsense in Final Fantasy VII or Terra in Final Fantasy IX does not.

The game has consistently made Tidus's connection to Sin a point of contention. The monstrosity seems to follow Tidus wherever he goes. The story was bound to address this issue eventually. This epiphany also increases my investment in the story. I NEED TO KNOW what caused Jecht to transform into Sin! Whether you want it or not, Final Fantasy X has you stuck in a story-based Catch-22. You know the game cannot possibly make good on its potential, but YOU NEED TO KNOW!

Praise should be directed at Auron. His level-headed responses are one of the better performances in the game. Auron appreciates Tidus's rage but simultaneously feels Tidus should rise to the occasion. This crafts the initial inklings of Auron's compassionate side. Auron's caring nature is introduced when he first approaches Yuna. Auron offers to become Yuna's guardian, and Yuna could not be happier. She is enthralled to hear Auron making good on a promise he made with her father.

Eventually, Yuna takes notice of Tidus in a state of dejection. While Yuna was talking to Auron, Tidus was aimlessly kicking into the air like a child. This leads to THAT SCENE.

Part 37: “THAT SCENE!”

I want the record to show I don't hate Tidus's initial framing. Being an incessant piss-baby is Tidus's modus operandi. Yuna's initial depiction is equally permissible. She expresses a sense of concern for Tidus which fits her character. Yuna frets over not being able to serve the "greater good" whenever on her pilgrimage. Going out of her way to cheer up Tidus is what one could expect out of her.

Yuna wants Tidus to know how he has helped her during their time together. Yuna first showcases her newfound whistling skills, a touching callback to earlier. Yuna's next step is to teach Tidus the importance of smiling. Like a taskmaster, Yuna forces Tidus to smile despite him suffering from an existential crisis. The exercise is sabotaged by the game's faces being nightmare fuel! OH GOD, SOMEONE TELL THE CHARACTERS TO STOP!

Yuna is satisfied by Tidus's horrifying grin. Next, she demands laughter. Tidus laughs to Yuna's amusement. The scene is not at all uncanny. Everyone loves Tidus. The characters move on with their adventure. END SCENE!

LOOK... I THINK THIS SCENE IS CHARMING AS FUCK! It is horribly curtailed by the technical limitations of the time, but it is so honest with its emotions. There's plenty to hate, but ultimately I was won over. If a child tries to ride a bicycle without training wheels and ends up falling down, do you laugh at them? What if they get back on the bicycle and peddle with a new sense of determination? How can you NOT respect that?

I get it. The laughs are TERRIBLE! HOLY SHIT, THEY ARE BAD! The voice director in charge of the English dubbing should be fired and never allowed to direct video game voice acting. Then there are the facial animations. The HD Remaster continues to horrify with dead-eyes and facial clipping you would expect out of Ubisoft. It is BAD!

But context is everything. In context, this scene is fine. No really, this scene is fine! You have a naïve but caring character in Yuna, and an energetic young lad with Tidus. Their mannerisms are honest to these character traits. The two talk with a level of sincerity we would all do well to have in our lives. How can you fault something for being as emotionally transparent as Final Fantasy X?

These two have had several interactions over the course of the story. None of these interactions have had an ounce of cynicism. Tidus and Yuna treat each other with emotional candor and respect. They appreciate the input the other provides especially when under stress. Yuna knows Tidus cares for her thanks to his lesson on whistling. Tidus learns to appreciate the finer things in life after Yuna's laughing spiel. What a wonderful symbiotic relationship! This game is already a happy travelogue, and I think this scene does its darndest to solidify that point!

So sure, this scene is what 90% of you remember from Final Fantasy X. The scene's intent has been mutated thanks to the internet. WELL FUCK THE INTERNET! I LIKED THE LAUGHING SCENE! It is a fun exhibition between two characters that care about each other. It isn't technically impressive, but what was attempted is respectable. I feel it is equally noteworthy that most games to this day struggle to convey stories with such transparency. It is on that bombshell we will call an end to this episode. Next time I see you we will talk about the god-awful highroads, and "Mushroom Rock."

Seriously. Fuck Blitzball.

In the pic below Part 32, I see Tidus isn't the only creeper with a pair of binoculars.

These are always a pleasure to read. Amazing work Zombiepie!

P.S Thanks for sharing the nightmare that is Ah Ha Ha Ha remix. 0_0

"Hey, you have crippling depression and a great weight of responsibility on your shoulders. In lieu of some real help, FORCED LAUGHTER."

Also, it's just occurred to me Auron might be a Beserk reference.

Great work as always!

The only time I managed to win that blitzball game I had to use the hide behind the goal exploit and even then I had to restart twice just to actually manage to be in the lead at any point in the match. I guess I was never drunk enough.

I also agree that I think the laughing scene mostly works. It has a purpose and it serves it. Out of context it`s a horror show, but in context it helps build the character relationships.

Thank God someone said it. The laughing scene is not that bad in context.

It's two dumb depressed teenagers trying to make each other laugh by doing something silly. The laugh is supposed to sound forced and terrible, because it is forced and terrible. Shit dude I understood what that the goal of that scene was in 2001 when I was 11. To this day I'm baffled that people don't get it.

Lack of context and the internet's incredible love of shitting on bad video games and the evil corporations that make them created a gigantic misunderstanding of that scene. Duder, you are my new favorite friend for seeing that scene as it was and not the meme that warped it. The internet is full of doofs who didn't understand the scene, made fun of the wrong thing, learned it was the wrong thing and proceeded to justify their ill-gotten opinion in any way possible.

"It was actually a fake laugh, as in 'laugh in the face of what scares you'"

"Oh...really?...I mean I totally knew that obviously...It was still shitty because...it was awkward...I mean bad VO...I mean Tidus sucks...bad directing? No, wait, it was the writing, totally the writing...I DIDN'T MISUNDERSTAND ANYTHING!"

The thing I'm getting from your enjoyment of this game is that you have a deep appreciation for earnestness in storytelling, even if the results are awkward.

@arbitrarywater: I'm right there with him. So much of this media landscape is either "badass", "cynical", or "absurdist".

You'll find few objections from me about things that are willing to be genuinely heartfelt. To speak of a different Square property, I don't think I'd like Kingdom Hearts as much if the game didn't play its ridiculous premise and profoundly stupid plot with 100% sincerity.

Didn't the voice actor for Tidus put up a video series on Youtube about this scene and how it was written in the script to be an awful/awkward laugh?

I'm afraid the game does make good on the Sin = Jecht thing. You are going to hate how much sense it makes.

I liked Blitzball before I understood what real sports video games where capable of (I was 13 in 2000; it wasn't a genre I played!). Now I understand what a piece of shit it is.

You're right, Blitzball is totally broken. Blitzball is also, probably, terrible. On top of all that though, maybe even because of all that, Blitzball is amazing.

Blitzball has its faults but the 'waa its just math' is hilarious, considering thats what all sports video games are

Sports games have actual sports logic behind them, though. Blitzball takes that out of the equation by being a fake sport that looks like it's based on real world analogues but isn't.

Really appreciate that you were able to see past the rampant memery surrounding "THAT SCENE." I always thought it was a very humanizing moment for our two protags. Yuna tries to cheer Tidus up by asking him to smile and laugh, Tidus gets embarassed/realizes how silly it is, leans into it super hard, and turns the tables on Yuna to make her laugh too. This is kind of a backhanded compliment, but it feels like one of the few interactions in the game that could, like, actually happen in real life. Two people gently yet supportively ragging on each other, and having a fun goofy time.

So, I'll argue the cringiness is definitely intentional to a point. Though to be fair, the stiff animations do add an extra layer of discomfort that goes well beyond the mark they were aiming for, I think.

Unfortunate that the flak for it falls on James Arnold Taylor, who definitely performed it exactly as directed -- if you look at the japanese version of the scene, Tidus is still laughing the exact same laugh.

@subliminalkitteh said:

I always assumed it was supposed to be an awkward laugh. Even when I played it as a kid, it was easy for me to tell that the context and setup of the scene paints it as a forced laugh. Becomes even more clear when they actually do start laughing normally at themselves right after. I never understood the internet obsession with that scene, but I grew up with the game and had played it multiple times before I really got deep into the internet's opinion on it.

I think that scene is blown out of proportion by people who didn't play the game and only saw it on youtube.

There's a kaleidoscope of emotions when it comes to Blitzball. Some genuinely love the minigame as a fun time sink to play in-between the story moments in Final Fantasy X. I am in camp "Fuck Blitzball!" It is such a bad thing that I had to avoid ranting like Jeff during the Blitzball section of my blog.

I did not notice that until you pointed it out. Huh... there's really no reason for that dude to be using binoculars at that point and place in the story. That is unless he wants to get a zoomed-in image of Yuna which... gross.

The Ah Ha Ha Ha Remix is something you can blame @chaser324 for linking me to when I first announced I was doing a series on Final Fantasy X. The literal first thing he does is link that video to me on Twitter.

With friends like these....

I also got a Beserk feel from Auron. I ended up siding with him being more of a futuristic samurai, but the motion of him swinging his sword is very Beserk. Auron even carries around a flask of booze with him... despite the fact he is seen chastising Jecht abusing alcohol in a different part of the story. That part doesn't make sense when you stop and think about it.

I honestly have no idea how I beat that Blitzball match. For all I know I could have played it three times on account of it being a hazy memory at this point. Your words about the laughing scene are exactly my point. The whole point is to build up the budding relationship Yuna and Tidus are having. It's far from perfect, but it ends up accomplishing that.

I actually am surprised to see the amount of positive support for my comments about the Laughing Scene. As someone playing this game for the first time in 2017, I was absolutely confident the general internet opinion about that scene was the norm. I honestly thought that would be the most controversial part of the blog, and I was going to have to passionately defend my opinion about it. The first draft of this blog included a section on me trying to understand why it was mutated to such a degree.

So the internet is full of histrionics. Breaking news, I know.

If you watch the entire scene it's painfully obvious what the purpose of the scene is. Hell, all you really need to do is watch maybe fifteen seconds before it starts and you'll have a perfect understanding what it is all about. The voice acting and animation aren't perfect, but again, and I hate to use this as an excuse, it was a product of its time. The voice acting was on par for most dubbed anime back in the day. And if we are being perfectly honest, the Laughing Scene is one of the better performances from Tidus and Yuna's voice actors. You get a sense they were playing off each other, and were working with each other more than in the aerlier scenes.

From this point forward I think Yuna's voice acting improves, so in that regard, it is a win-win.

I still take issue with the laugh scene in context. Yeah it's supposed to be an awkward, forced laugh (obvious because it's followed up immediately with both voice actors doing a normal, well-acted laugh), but it's too forced and awkward. Nobody would make that sort of noise, even faking a laugh.

I guess it's worth noting that, my first playthrough I absolutely despised the game (except Auron) because about 75% of it was impossible for me to take seriously or get invested in. The whole "product of its time" argument has never meant anything to me, as someone who barely experienced stuff of that time, and the dub/localization definitely made it hard to enjoy the game (especially as an angsty teen that was trying very hard to get invested in the story emotionally).

Years later, I can enjoy the game in the same way I enjoy something like Deadly Premonition. I can't bring myself to take it seriously, but it's campy and silly and fun (although generally not on purpose) in a way I wish FF games still were. Anything to get it out of the dull malaise of mediocrity the series has been trapped in since XIII.

So if I understand it correctly, you would've played the blitzball match again if you lost it the first time? Amazing. Well, beating it in 1 time and Wakka making the winning goal is probably the best thing that happened, I always Jecht the opponents out of the stadium.

And totally agreeing with your view on THE SCENE. Fake laughing is hard, even in 2017.

And let's give credit where credit should be given. Final Fantasy X starts with a distinct emotional tone I think is more "fitting" for a game you will be playing for forty to fifty hours. I am going to dedicate that amount of time to a game, I might as well have a fun time. And I have to think the context is important in this case. Kingdom Hearts has source material and a canon to work with, whereas each Final Fantasy game creates its own world. Sure there are certain hallmarks, but each world is its own thing. With each game you have to re-learn the rules and customs of a new world. Doing this is WAY EASIER if the game values your time, and tries to impress you by putting its best step forward.

Again, this may be a case of "different strokes, for different folks," but overall I find the positive mantra of Final Fantasy X to be its best attribute. In fact, I think it is kind of shocking that the team which spearheaded this game didn't really learn from its popularity. It's almost as if they got lucky and learned nothing from their success.

Do you have a link to this video/article? I read the last article linked to me about the abhorrent working conditions the voice actors were under during the production of the game. It was an enlightening read, to say the least, so a video about this specific scene would be incredibly interesting.

I don't know... I am incredibly disturbed by the depiction of Jecht in the game. So much so that his depiction post-Mushroom Rock is one of my least favorite aspects of the story.

To have the game depict him as an abusive drunk, and then two hours later have Auron try to convince Tidus that his father "loved him," is not something I am okay with.

Lay it in me. Those contracts are not worth your time, and before you tell me about a special weapon for a certain character let me ask you one question. Could I finish the game without it? If the answer is "yes" then I think we are done. I rest my case in saying the contracts are not worth your time.

I really do not want to play more Blitzball! My memories of Blitzball are perfect where they are, and I do not want to ruin them!

How far did you get in Blitzball when you were thirteen? Whenever I look at Blitzball I see a Byzantine set of muddled rules and backwards-ass controls which are no fun to use. I have no idea how anyone could spend more than ten minutes on Blitzball. Again, I should speak for myself, considering I managed to breed a Golden Chocobo in Final Fantasy VII.

I would argue the math oriented nature of modern sports games is the reason why they have such limited appeal. But to their defense, MLB The Show 17 isn't going to hit you over the head with an addition or subtraction problem for every play in the game. And the math that is in Blitzball is random rather than being a resolute system you can reliably predict. What should be certain almost never is, and this is a continual frustration that I have with Blitzball.

And even if feel my points about the game being "math" are pure histrionics, that's fine. That still does not change the fact that Blitzball is fundamentally broken in a way that isn't fun. If turtling is the most reliable way to win a match, something has gone horribly wrong. That and how in their right mind thought the Jecht Shot should be included in the game? That move is BROKEN!

My partner didn't like being put to sleep, or woken up by Titus Fantasy X.

The only reason you should play more Blitzball is to get Wakka's Celestial Weapon but even then I don't recommend it. Also I had forgotten about the awful Blitzball and Jecht Shot tutorials or maybe I just purged them from my memory. Either way I don't want to experience that every again.

Auron is one of my favorite characters in any Final Fantasy game. He's both the thing that keeps Tidus and the party grounded but just has the mystique to him that you can't quite get over. I actually think his arc in general is what makes FFX.

If Blitzball had been soccer/football in a water sphere I would argue there's still too much of it critically flawed to salvage. The number based gameplay system is just one major flaw to the entire package. The A.I. is beyond junk, and playing the game isn't all that much better either. I asked ten or twelve people on Steam how to win at Blitzball and each one repeated the same two or three exploits. If that isn't a sign of a critically flawed game mechanic, then I don't know what is.

And before you ask they were: 1) Score once then turtle behind your net, 2) Get the Jecht Shot, and 3) Recruit the same three characters to your team.

Your points nail my thoughts exactly. When it is presented in context, the laughing scene is an incredibly humanizing moment for Tidus and Yuna. Prior to this scene, they both behaved like your typical trope heavy JRPG characters. Yuna is an emotionless maiden, and Tidus is a contemptible try-hard. Then this scene happens and you realize they are teenagers in the post-apocalypse. To me, it is the first time when a Final Fantasy game manages to convey teenagers as teenagers. Both wear their emotions on their sleeves, and they are incredibly easy to read. Their "forced" attempt to make each other laugh is similar to a friend trying to make you laugh but failing horribly.

I ended up liking Zidane in Final Fantasy IX, but the only thing which fit his age was his character design. He reaches adult conclusions because the writing needs him to. And then there's Squall. He's the clearest example of adults writing what they THINK teenagers act like. The consequences of which are CATASTROPHIC.

I And I haven't mentioned it on the blog series, but I have on my own perorgative examined what the original character models looked like. Call me crazy, but the faces look chubbier, but the advantage is they animate better. There are certain emotions which reigister better on the "fuller" faces of the originak game, than in this HD Remaster. Again, I could be crazy, but that is my initial impression.

Like I said in the response above, forcing laughter out of a person you know who is depressed fits Yuna's character arc. Regardless of the circumstances, the context the game builds up to this scene is enough to make it work. Tidus is depressed, and Yuna takes the time to cheer him up. Then Tidus takes the activity too far, and tries to drag Yuna into her own nonsense. He's clearly ribbing her, but in an endearing way.

I just do not understand why THIS is the scene to create an entire meme over. If you want to create a meme over questionable voice acting there are better examples in games with half the value of Final Fantasy X.

At this point my big takeaway is complete bafflement. It's an innocent scene in an endearing game. If the core of Final Fantasy X had been rotten to its core, then I guess I would understand mutating a scene from it, but that's far from the case.

I think it goes without saying I disagree, but can still see the value of your points. I do view the argument of "a product of its time" as a valid excuse given the extreme circumstances surrounding the work conditions for the voice actors. They had to act insolation from a majority of their cast members, and dubbed their voices over Japanese footage of the character animations. These circumstances result in undeniable "weirdness."

Then there's the issue of the script not really lending itself to voice acting. The dialogue in Final Fantasy X is written like a novel because that is how the games have always been written. There's a big difference between writing a novel and a script with dialogue, and I don't know if SquareEnix is aware of this. The hardest thing about script writing is that your dialogue has to convey almost everything; novel writers have the luxury of internal dialogue and descriptions to convey the story, as well as the thoughts and feelings of their characters. Scriptwriters, however, don't have that option, and so dialogue must do the lion's share of the work.

I find your comparison to Deadly Premonition to be hard to stomach. One game attempts to pay an homage to a television series, and another creates an entirely original world. And if anything else, at least Final Fantasy X is one of the best playing games in the entire franchise.

I finally said it, and I will say it again. Final Fantasy X is the best PLAYING Final Fantasy game I have played.

I have no idea how I managed to accomplish this. I mean, for all intents and purposes I should have failed. People have put in actual effort into beating the first Blitzball match and failed to win it, but I won it and did not give a damn. It's almost as if Blitzball is complete random BS, and maybe the first mistake is taking the game seriously. It's kind of like Drew's quote from Mario Party Party.

Welcome to "Camp Pro-Laughing Scene." I never knew this was a scene, but I am glad it is.

I don't remember anime waterpolo (Blitzball) being that bad. I mean it was a busted ass JRPG minigame that isn't fun at all, but I recall the required story game being brief and handily ignoring it forever like that shit in a lot of games.

I mean I like the laughing scene (in both ENG and JPN) not because it is good at all, it's cringe-y garbage but every once it awhile it is good for a chuckle or two for just how strange and painfully awkward it is.

@zombiepie: Speaking of inspirational quotes and Blitzball:

@imhungry: @fezrock: @dudeglove: @purpleoddity: @arbitrarywater: @lv4monk: @blackichigo: @shindig: @baka_shinji17: @lawgamer: @superkenon: @mezza: @oursin_360: @teddie: @zirilius: @jeffrud: @dan_citi: @sjaak: @silver-streak@hassun@tobbrobb

Is Gino here? No? GREAT! Let's just have a quick chat and hope he doesn't see this. Gino, if you are reading this understand that I love you very much. As some of you may know I recorded our second podcast about Final Fantasy X with him a while ago. Off the record, and on Steam chat, he's provided me with a few "assignments" to complete before reaching the "Calm Lands." I have no idea what he means by that, BUT whenever I have asked him about Side Quests he has been a little cagey. Here's what he's asked of me thus far:

1. Spend as little time in the “Calm Lands” as possible.
2. Get all the Jecht spheres.
3. Keep fighting Belgemine.
4. Learn how to use "Mix" properly.
5. Acquire every Destruction Sphere.
6. Obtain the optional Aeons.
7. Discover where the Cactuars live.
8. Attempt the lightning dodges ONLY if you are “in a dark place in your life.”

And when I ask him if I should play more Blitzball outside of the story required match, his response is essentially "EHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh...."

So is this advice "sound," or is he putting me through the wringer for shits and giggles? Everyone keeps telling me I need to get these destruction spheres but GOOD GOD! THAT ICE TEMPLE MADE ME WANT TO QUIT THE GAME!

@zombiepie: Yes, his feelings on the lightning dodges are correct. Also I think the Jecht Spheres are helpful because they add to the story quite a bit, if I remember right.

The rest I can't remember, other than most of hte optional Aeons being rad.

@zombiepie: Yeah I guess that all sounds like stuff you should do before the Calm Lands happens. There's an obvious point of no return and that's not it, but you could have all that stuff done by then. Just as long as he's not telling you to max out everyone's sphere grids. Of all those things I'd recommend the Jecht Spheres above all else, even as someone who doesn't take the story in this game seriously-- that stuff was super enjoyable.

Also if you think the ice trial was bad, HOH. HOH HOH. BOY.

(As an aside to your previous reply in this thread, I didn't mean I think of the entirety of FFX in the same way as Deadly Premonition, just purely from a story aspect. The gameplay is, as you say, the best turn-based gameplay in the series, and the world design and art direction is similarly solid.)

I did the Lightning Dodges back in the PS2-era, but I also hate myself, so there's that. I had a semi-reliable method that worked for me but I still admit it was a crazy thing to do. My cousin also couldn't do one of the things needed to get Tidus's ultimate weapon (the Chocobo time trial where you had to finish with a time of zero) so I ended up having to accomplish that twice (once for him and once for myself) and that was pretty excruciating.

Honestly, even to this day, I kind of like Blitzball. Yeah, it's broken and not very good, but I liked it. I was always attacking and would often run the table, and it was difficult for opponents to even get through my front line. It got to the point where I started getting a bit worried on the rare occasions the opponent managed to find a crack to slide through my offence, mainly because my defence was so underleveled from having so little to do in most games. I pretty much never turtled in Blitzball, so maybe that's why I had more fun with it.

Oh, and if you're that up in arms about it, I'm going to spoil something for you which I hope you won't care about, since you seem to be planning to never play Blitzball again: if you think the Jecht Shot is broken, there's a Jecht Shot 2 which allows you to take out 3(!) guys instead of 2. It takes a ton of HP to use so it's not really practical, especially compared to OG Jecht Shot, but it's there...

@zombiepie: Yeah that mostly sounds sensible since getting that all done before the Calm Lands lets you be fairly worry free before you inevitably lose your mind doing the sidequests in the Calm Lands itself. I'd echo what everyone else says and definitely get the Jecht spheres. Unfortunately I'd say do continue on with getting the destruction spheres too, which, yeah. Have fun with that. All seems pretty sensible to me but I think his advice is wrong in that you should probably never engage with the lightning dodges under any circumstances, ever. Also, learn how to use Mix bceause then you get to make her the badass she deserves to be.

@zombiepie: Yeah that's a good list to ensure your save game is good for post game content if that interests you. The destruction spheres specifically are the ones you don't want to miss (I know the trials suck sucks). It's probably less stuff to do then it looks like, I think most of it will happen naturally.

Never play Blitzball again. You already peaked on enjoyment, it's all downhill from there.

@zombiepie Mixing is powerful, as far as I know. I did none of that stuff so .... that might be why I'm where I'm at.

Yes, get all the Jecht spheres, not only do you get nice story moments, but you will also get some cool Overdrives for Auron. Also the Destruction Spheres and optional Aeons are a sure thing you have to get, if you want to see some crazy stuff.

Mix is something I didn't use that often, but from what I have heard it's pretty powerful, maybe even overpowered? I don't know, I never liked Rikku that much, never used her.

Belgemine has three tutorial kind of battles in different locations which you don't have to win, and from my memory doesn't give you anything special when you win. Later on in the game, yes, you will have to beat her, but that can also be done after the Calm Lands.

Cactuars, boring. Dodging lightning bolts, boring. Calm Lands, boring. Skip it. Or try it once. But don't let these things ruin your FFX experience!

Small question, how much gil / money do you have on you?

@zombiepie:

1. Yep.

2. Yep. Very important.

3. Its neat, but not necessary.

4. If you have trouble with any bosses, Mix is a great way to break the game. If you have the ingredients and know what to do.

5. Yep, see #6.

6. Yojimbo, yes; because he's awesome. The one that #5 needs, yep; that one's story important. The Magus Sisters, nah. Only if those fights aren't too difficult for you.

7. I never managed that myself.

8. Yep.

@zombiepie: That seems like mostly solid advice. I never really got into Mix myself. That just depends on how much you want to use Rikku. You can get some handy stuff with it but it's far form essential. Also "learning how to use it properly" basically just means "have a guide at the ready" unless you want to do a lot of memorization.

@zombiepie:

Here's my decidedly-casual take on these suggestions:

• Spend as little time in the “Calm Lands” as possible.

Yeah, though I'd phrase it more like "spend the time you want to spend in the Calm Lands, and no more." I thought it was a neat place overall, but to me it toes this fine line between being fun to explore and jolly plain tedious. The determining factor being... I dunno, just how I happen to be feeling that day? The moon phase? Point is, I don't remember the rewards around there being "worth it." So I'd say just tour 'til you don't wanna tour no mo'. Be free to move on!!

• Get all the Jecht spheres.

It's more story stuff, so yeah. If you're using a guide as a reference, most aren't so bad to find. Of course, as a reader of this blog, I'm biased here because I'm curious to hear what you'd think of them. I want you to find them!!!

• Keep fighting Belgemine.

Only if you're going for Aeon completion, I'd say. You eventually get something from her that will help you get the last optional Aeon, but other than that, she gives you pretty decent rewards but nothing crucial. My first time through the game, I passed up on most stuff with her and didn't suffer for it.

• Learn how to use "Mix" properly.

Mix is indeed very powerful and can save your life, so yes. It can be fun to experiment with to see what does what, but if you don't wanna fuss with that, you could just look up a list of combinations. On the other hand, if you really don't like using Rikku or having her out in battle, she's still far from a necessity to use to her fullest.

• Acquire every Destruction Sphere.

Might as well, since there's not too many more sphere dungeons left (and in my opinion, the ice one is the most annoying in the game... though there is another one that's a special kind of stupid that I can't believe anyone signed off on. I think you'll know it when you see it.) Getting all the destruction sphere treasures lets you get something pretty cool.

• Obtain the optional Aeons.

Meh! Personally, I consider it worth going out of my way for Optional Aeons #1 and #2, but not #3 (the one I referenced in the Belgemine answer). Mostly because the first two are relatively simple to get at, and are cool, while the last one requires more busywork and is more of a weird cameo than anything (a cameo from a FF game you haven't covered, at that). Not that the last one's bad, but I wouldn't feel like going through the trouble myself. There might be a little bit of story pay-off for one of the side characters, I think? Maybe? Nothing that left an impression on me. Since I can't remember what it is. Hm.

• Discover where the Cactuars live.

One should always go out of their way to experience the joy of Cactuars.

• Attempt the lightning dodges ONLY if you are “in a dark place in your life.”

Yeah, fuck this shit hard.

---

By the way, much props and kudos to you again for going on this voyage! I haven't commented much, but I've been reading along ever since you began this bold initiative with Final Fantasy VIII (was that two years ago now? Jeez), and each subsequent entry has had me thoroughly entertained. I super enjoy hearing your take on the games, and I'm always looking forward to the next entry! Yer doin' the Lord's work, duder!

@silver-streak: @teddie: @wchigo: @imhungry: @tobbrobb: @shindig: @sjaak: @fezrock: @dudeglove: @hassun: @superkenon: Hey everyone, I just wanted to thank you for responding to my all-call earlier this week. This coming Friday I hope to publish the next entry in this odious and enthralling journey. Hopefully, it will not be the last entry. Given that this coming weekend will be the Giant Bomb Community Endurance Run, and @thatpinguino roped me into a blood pact, I'll be playing nothing but Final Fantasy VIII... again. The worst part would be the new donation incentives he and I came up with.

Here's to hoping I do not die next weekend. Luckily I'm only at $475, and the $800 goal isn't really possible.

@zombiepie Oh dear god, what have you done.

I want to donate, but I can't in good conscience let you get near the hot dog challenge. With how many times they're mentioned, you'll outright die from sodium content.

@zombiepie: I hope to god that you reach the $700 goal, but only ever get as high as $799.99 as I don't want you to die!

Can it not just be the same sausage you can nurse for many hours?

This is getting downright disgusting!

@zombiepie You're one of the best lets players of all time, just wanted to let you know this.

Fucking Blitzball is The Exorcist but without an actual Exorcist in game form and the thing that told me that Squaresoft don't really know nor understand what they're doing. I don't even want to know how much percent of the overall budget wen't into that mess. Hopefully not much since it looks and plays like absolute garbage compared to the rest of the game, I even prefere Tetra Masters RNG to blitzballs juxtaposition of what they believed would be gameplay.

And that scene wasn't that bad, I actually played the game again 2 times (one when the meme came around, another time because of the HD remake) and people kinda overblew that one. Its really smells like the sort of bad that was intentionally made to come of as a dumb scene but it wasn't game ruining for me. Also the overall gameplay on FF10 is really kinda good compared to other Final Fantasies though the game does a good job fro never not wanting to be a 100% completionist anymore ever again.

I've been thinking about the laughing scene some since this article came up and how awkward and uncomfortable it sounds. Well you know what else is awkward and uncomfortable? Laughing when something isn't funny. I'm serious just try laughing out loud and boy does it sound weird and unnatural.

@silver-streak: @wchigo: @shindig: @hassun: @dudeglove: WHELP! It looks like I am going to have to get ready for thirty hours of Final Fantasy VIII for the weekend. Here's where my estimates stand. I can finish Disc 1 in about six hours. I estimate Disc 2 will take eight to nine hours. Disc 3 will take at least ten. Disc 4 should last around three to four.

I AM LOOKING AT THIRTY HOURS OF FINAL FANTASY VIII! WHAT HAVE I DONE! THIS IS GOING TO RUIN ME!

I think this is a good way to look at it. The laughing scene is a reflection of two characters forced to laugh, and thus their performance fits the context of the scene. I like the theory that Tidus is ribbing Yuna to react to his over-the-top antics, and is forced to join the nonsense. Either way, I think we can all agree the scene depicts a playful interaction between two characters. The intent is honest, and there's no faulting the game for trying, to be honest about its emotions.

I forgot to respond to this. The problem I have about outright ignoring Blitzball is how the game extols Blitzball's importance for the first four hours of the game. The initial premise to Wakka gravitating towards Tidus is because he thinks he would be a great addition to his Blitzball team. Plus, our introduction to the practices of Yevon is interconnected with Bliztball. There's no shaking Blitzball.

And in terms of the laughing scene, if a game can elicit a positive reaction our of you that's noteworthy in its own right.

First off, your first sentence is incredibly flattering. @thatpinguino and I got into a knife fight whether Blitzball or Tetra Master is worse. I argued Blitzball was worse given its baffling controls, unintuitive design, and messed up first match. He argued Tetra Master was worse given its unpredictable gameplay, and how you get even less out of Tetra Master than you do out of Blitzball in terms of storytelling. Say what you will about Bliztball, at least it results in a handful of cool cutscenes.

I would like to agree with you about Final Fantasy X's combat. It is without a doubt the most fun I have ever had with a Final Fantasy game. As someone who has never entirely enjoyed the ATB system, Final Fantasy X is a pleasant surprise. And it cannot be understated how great it is to swap characters in and out of battles as seamlessly as in Final Fantasy X. I still think navigating the Sphere Grid is harder than it should, but at least it is an original idea.