Apprehension about starting a game you think you will like.

Hello there,

You may see my name pop up on occasion as that guy who writes boring blogs about ranking games no one cares about. The good news is, this isn't going to be one of them, but rather a genuine question.

When it is time for you to start a new game, one that you are fairly sure you will like, do you ever have apprehension in actually starting it?

I normally have no problem starting a new game, heck I use a roulette wheel to tell me what to play, just to avoid decision dilemma, but I recently spun a game that I have been excited to play for a while now, and can't find time to start it.

During that time I have started another game (I always have two going at a time) and finished it before I even booted up the game I really think I will enjoy. I keep finding small reasons to put it off (not enough time to really ENJOY it, or I should instead post on giantbomb) and I don't know why I'm doing that.

I've been let down by games, played real stinkers, and even disliked games that I used to like as a child.. it's not that I am afraid the game will disappoint me, it's something else. I told myself I have to start it this week or else (I don't know what the else is)... but has this ever happened to anyone else?

First of all I'm glad to know you are finally getting around to Billy Hatcher. It's about time.

I think that I've experienced multiple forms of this and they can intersect. One reason I can feel apprehensive about starting a game I've really been looking forward to (and it really only happens with games I've been hyped for, not just ones that I think I'll like, since I generally don't play games I don't think I'll probably like on some level) is 'wasting' it.

You only get to play a game for the first time once (and I rarely replay games) so playing a game that COULD be a treasured gaming memory at a time when my mood isn't right risks 'burning' the game while not really enjoying it. This can be because I'm too stressed to enjoy anything, because I'm just not in the mood for that genre/tone/franchise/whatever at that point, or, conversely, because I'm in such a GOOD mood that I'd love anything I played and playing a great game then is kind of redundant.

It's not so much that I'm worried that the game will disappoint me as that I will fail to enjoy the game as much as I might at another time.

Another side of this is 'using up' a really good game so I won't be able to anticipate/enjoy it again. Once you've played the game you're most excited for everything else is likely to be a let down. You cannot have your cake and eat it too, and you're choosing to eat your cake.

It sounds like that might be what you're going through. You were choosing to eat your vegetables (play the game you were less excited for) instead of eating dessert because once your dessert is gone the vegetables will still be there, but if you save the dessert you can look forward to it while you force the vegetables down.

I think some of this may relate to scarcity mindset as a kid. When we were young we only got games rarely, so using the up meant not having anything new to play for a long time, and they were a precious resource. What I've come to realize now is that even if you focus on the best games there are so many absolute bangers out there I'll never get through them all. So there's really no need to save dessert anymore. It's a little different with you and your wheel, though that's something you force on yourself so...

@bigsocrates: I think some of it is certainly having to be in the 'perfect' state of mind that is holding me back. Do I have a solid chunk of time that can uninterrupted game time? Are my kids around? Is everything else taken care of so I can only focus on this game?

The problem is I know that it's an impossible standard to hit, there is always something else I should be doing. I know once I start it, I won't have to satisfy these rules again, once I see it's a regular game.

@imunbeatable80: Just start it then. Rip the band=aid off if intellectually you know it will be better once you do.

I've been where you are, as I said, but 99% of the time starting the game is the right move. Unless this is the ONE game you've been hyped for above all others there will be other games out there even if this is not the perfect or ideal experience for you.

Meanwhile you're playing games that are objectively worse just to avoid having a less than optimal time with a good one.

But yeah, it's easy to get into your head about approaching a hyped game the "right way," I think a lot of us have been there, but ultimately it's better to have played even with some interruptions than just to leave it on your shelf and play Mahjong Huntress again for the 27th time.

Or you could just convince your wife to play Norco with you, because that's a wholly unique mystery game that could shake you out of the doldroms of the Agatha Christie games.

I have been thinking about this too and I have three reasons, none of them particularly good. First off, I'm very poor at estimating how I spend my time. Many games are above 20 hours these days and that just seems like a big commitment to make even when I have no other on-going commitments in life except for work. So I procrastinate and keep those games in my "maybe some day" list forever. And then I worry that if I play one game for many hours, that's other games that I can't play, and what if I made the wrong choice. And the solution to procrastination is always to just do it, and I have found some success with that, and I find that those 20 hours, sometimes even 100 hours, go past much faster than I expected. That 100 hours would be the case with Metal Gear Solid 5, a game that I didn't even particularly like.

Second reason is that I need to be in the right mind space for a good game. Games nowadays will give you a 2-hour lore dump and a slow tutorial before they actually let you play the game. And if it's a game that I want to enjoy, I want to give it the attention it deserves, and I don't want to rush past that part, especially as I worry that I might miss something important. Back in the NES days you had two buttons, one jumps and the other shoots, and you could just go. Life was much easier.

Then there is the scariest reason of all, what if a game ends up being a disappointment. That would make me feel bad, but if I never find out, I can avoid that unpleasant feeling.

These are the reasons that I've been playing a lot of bad or mediocre games in recent years. No expectations, and I can drop it any time I want to, no bad feelings. I've completed games such as Breakdown, Duke Nukem Forever, Resident Evil 5, The Witcher, GoldenEye, Far Cry 5, and The Evil Within 1 and 2, because I didn't care about any of those games and that made them so easy for me to pick up. All the while I have absolute masterpieces (so people say) in my library that I'm not even thinking about playing. It's weird.

I often feel this way for two reasons:

If a game is fairly long, I am reluctant to pick it up. My gaming time is limited these days, so I often go with visceral, immediately satisfying experiences like racing or fighting games. Things I can play for 30 minutes and feel accomplished. You can play an open world game or RPG for that amount of time and easily get nothing done. Have a bunch of those in my backlog, because I do like those genres, but I probably won't touch any until the kids are teenagers and don't like me anymore.

The other issue is my backlog is large to the point it can be hard to pick what to play. Which is a first-world problem if there ever was one.

@apewins: I totally get the hour one, and it's somewhat relevant here. A long time ago (before this blog series) I was going to start nier: automata, but I remember Giant bomb game of the year talks saying you need to put x hours in just for it to click.. and it scared me off because I just didn't think I could ever commit that time.. now I've played dozens of games for the same time commitment, but I just haven't thought of it before hand.

@bigsocrates: I have a date on the calendar to start.. (wednesday) I haven't drawn another game yet so this won't compete with any other game.

Hmm. I don't think games should be a chore. Unless you feel a certain responsibility to do it - like for a blog or review deadline or whatever - then I don't see what it accomplishes to force yourself to play it if you don't feel like it in the moment. I also don't believe in the "backlog" concept. But I definitely can relate to the "hmm, this game sounds fun in theory but I am just not feeling it right now" feeling. Sometimes that just means I need to do something different, like go for a walk or read a book or what have you. Other times it's more like a general malaise, in which case there could be a deeper root like depression or just tiredness.

@wollywoo: oh, I don't want to come off that gaming is a chore for me, or even that I'm depressed... it's a game I'm genuinely excited to start, but it's a game that I know is a deep and engaging game so it's also a little anxiety with starting such a big game.

@imunbeatable80: I'm glad that you're going to dive in and get over that hump, and excited to find out whether that Britney's Dance Beat is, in fact, THE GREATEST GAME!

@bigsocrates: at this point.. it's just gotta be

Yup, for me it's that thought that I have this feeling I know I'm going to like and want to start it when I know I'll have time to not risk having to lose interest cause of life. Similar to that "perfect state of mind," bit.

Some times it's wanting to make the most out of it by having the right set up. Witcher 3 was one of the first games I bought when I built my first real gaming PC in 2014 and I put it off cause I didn't think my 980 was gonna give me the best experience. It's 2024 and I still have started it, loved it, but dropped it cause life had other exciting stuff going on. Never went back since cause I want to be confident I'll sink my teeth into it. There's just so many other toe-dipping games I've got going on that I just can't bring myself to start it.

Worst part is I put off starting other games because of the backlog of games I have put off.

My list of these exact scenarios is Witcher 3, Disco Elysium, Subsurface Circular, Dishonored 2. Feels like I'm never going to let myself start them.

For me, it's the game ending too soon that makes me apprehensive about starting it. This is why I used to put games down I was enjoying and not get back to it for weeks, months, sometimes years. I don't do this anymore, for the most part. But when I know I'm going to really enjoy a game, I get this feeling. I have this feeling now about FFVII: Rebirth. Turns out it really does live up to the hype for me and despite putting nearly 100 hours into it, I don't want the experience to end. I would love to just jump into the final game of the remake trilogy, but that won't happen for a couple of years.

@imunbeatable80:Sorry, definitely didn't mean to imply you were depressed or something. More just thinking about myself and the various reasons why I wouldn't feel up to playing a game. Basically my point was just, eh, if you don't feel like it then why bother?

Part of my apprehension (at least with RPGs) is the possibility of fucking up and having to restart. I don't find playing with a guide especially quick either, but that might be the only way to get Persona 3 into my memories and out of my pile.

@shindig: I get this.. games with lots of choices or a ambiguous morality meter, or a game that you know has a good and bad ending.. you don't want to screw it up, so you just don't play.

As someone who is about to finish Persona 3 Reload, you don't have to worry about making the wrong choice or a guide, unless you want to max out all the social links during one playthrough, which you need to do to get the strongest Persona, Messiah, not needed to beat the game. There is a possible bad ending you can get, but the choice you're given can easily avoid it, unless you want to see the bad ending. Pretty much like the other Persona games in the series.