You just have to be invested in the environment, atmosphere, and world that the game presents. Don't just play like an MG pro leet. If you wanna immerse yourself in a game like CoD, use cover like you would in reality, not like you would in a video game. Check your corners even though your gamer brain is telling you you'll be safe from enemies. You're basically role playing on a sort of meta level.
And I also think it takes a certian kind of game to get immersed in. The better the atmosphere the easier, in my experience. Call of Pripyat is a great example of that for me. I'd camp out, I'd scout locations, observe hostile or potentially hostile individuals, "hunt", etc. When one of the crazy storms happened, I was genuinely a little freaked out, and frantically searched for cover. After that first storm, I was always keenly aware of where the nearest known shelter was.
Headphones and lights off can be good, but I actually find a decent amount of light is almost always more appropriate if you're playing a game that isn't something like amnesia.
I also feel the same about headphones. They can help cut out the rest of the world, but they won't give you the experience that a good 2.1 setup will with the sub turned up all the way while you play something like Bad Company and can feel the engine in your entire body while you drive the tank.
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