What is the dumbest Giant Bomb merch you'd purchase?

I'd buy a dinner plate with Jeff Gerstmann's face. Probably just one plate. I couldn't rationalize a full set of Gerstmann fine China.

Not really dumb but I'd purchase a tshirt with below on it.

Popcorn, Popcorn and Popcorn.

Attorneys at Law.

Est. 2004

I’d buy a 3 foot tall statue of Rorie.

Novelty toilet paper.

Shower curtain of the staff sitting behind the desk.

One side is west, the other east.

I would buy the shit out of a Ryan Davis sombrero with a tinier sombrero underneath it.

I don’t know about dumb, but I’d buy a set of those emote pillows from the E3 couch.

I'd buy a some Giant Bomb branded energy drinks with super guarana and some untested form of extracted bovine adrenaline. It will only be available in three states and banned through out the European union, Canada and Asia.

A big red button with just stuff Rorie said once, "more then 500 quotes !" Or a Mathew Rorie bobble head that just start's talking you know like those furbies who woke you up at night "So what are you doing this weekend!"

Also a life size Human Slingshot that says "Gerstmann 2020" on it.

The Jeff Gerstmann Grill®: An electric grill that imprints a caricature of Jeff face on your burger or pressed sandwich. TAGLINE: "It's so lucrative, I put my name on it!"

The Vinny Caravella Noodle Mecha & Manual Noodles Press® - Unscrew the cover and put the dough, vegetable into the drum; then screw the handle and noodle or juice will come out! TAGLINE: "Natural and harmless, tasteless and non corrosive!"

A light blue shirt with a tilted tuna can in the top center that reads "Charlie Tuna" and has the P4 protagonist's face on it.

I already bought a Jeff Gerstmann Fidget Spinner (tm), so, I've already set for myself a pretty low dumb bar. :)

Arcade buttons with the team's faces on them.

I would build a Bombcade cabinet SO FAST.

I would buy balloons shaped like their heads.

Slippers shaped like the cartoon bomb. Bonus points if the tongue touches the ground.

To be honest I think all the shirts, hoodies, caps, and shot glasses have been done...or are being done. I wanted limited time, limited quantity stuff. Like foam sandals/flip flops with Jeffs "stern unsmiling face" on them for $30. Or, a cheap knock-off Tamaguchi, that just says Giant Bomb on it for $20. Limited time & limited run weird stuff is some of what they coudl probably do to generate more traffic in the store.

And, not to get in the middle of office politics, but why is there no GameSpot store?

Cuff links?

A giant bomb emulator box like that soulya boy thing, but with a "curated selection" of C64 roms by Jeff and Vinny.

I would buy that bloody hockey jersey if it ever came back.

Gimme a Giant Bomb Magic 8 Ball.

Hmm, hard question, I haven't bought any merch and probably never will.
But a dumb merch that I would buy?
Maybe a signed copy of Sim Golf? Jeff's signed Mister? Nahh, I don't know.

Insurance.

I would buy Russian nesting dolls with the East and West crew inside the bomb, getting smaller and smaller 'til we reached a teeny Dan at the end.

Luchadeer figurine