A freestyle-rap blog about Carrots. Yep.

So you take a walk down to that farmers market
Ain't the kind to hit the town or go to target
I'm talking all up on that fine, fresh produce
But you're here looking for something to seduce
The ladies find one thing irresistible
Only one specific kind of vegetable
So when you walk through that door, with armfuls of orange
You won't even be able to turn around to shut the door hinge
They'll be all upon you like MSG on chinese
Teach them a little something bout the birds and the bees
But don't get ahead of yourself, don't fantasize
Chances are you'll all just go on and live your lives
Cause a man who uses carrots to pick up girls
Probably has quite a bit to learn about the world
But you won't leave empty handed, not a complete failure
You got what you demanded, you bought the sale of your
Carrots, now you'll snack on them around the clock
Waiting to grow rabbit skin, what's up doc'?
 
Completion time: 4 minutes
 
TAKE THAT OSSI.

So you take a walk down to that farmers market
Ain't the kind to hit the town or go to target
I'm talking all up on that fine, fresh produce
But you're here looking for something to seduce
The ladies find one thing irresistible
Only one specific kind of vegetable
So when you walk through that door, with armfuls of orange
You won't even be able to turn around to shut the door hinge
They'll be all upon you like MSG on chinese
Teach them a little something bout the birds and the bees
But don't get ahead of yourself, don't fantasize
Chances are you'll all just go on and live your lives
Cause a man who uses carrots to pick up girls
Probably has quite a bit to learn about the world
But you won't leave empty handed, not a complete failure
You got what you demanded, you bought the sale of your
Carrots, now you'll snack on them around the clock
Waiting to grow rabbit skin, what's up doc'?
 
Completion time: 4 minutes
 
TAKE THAT OSSI.

 Holy shit holy shit!
 
This dude found a rhyme for 'orange'!
 
Word, son.

You should be Soulja Boy's ghost writer

"  Holy shit holy shit!  This dude found a rhyme for 'orange'!  Word, son. "

" @Ryax: It does if you say it right. The foundation of rap is feminine rhyme, which may seem weird considering the content is all machismo crap; but 'feminine rhyme' has nothing to do with the absence or presence of vaginas. "

" You should be Soulja Boy's ghost writer "

" @Suicrat said:

" @Ryax: It does if you say it right. The foundation of rap is feminine rhyme, which may seem weird considering the content is all machismo crap; but 'feminine rhyme' has nothing to do with the absence or presence of vaginas. "

it rhymes if you slur the words together but real rhymes are single words with exact sound. while door hinge is a rhyme if you connect the two but it is an indirect rhyme thus making it void. "

" @Ryax said:

" @Suicrat said:

" @Ryax: It does if you say it right. The foundation of rap is feminine rhyme, which may seem weird considering the content is all machismo crap; but 'feminine rhyme' has nothing to do with the absence or presence of vaginas. "

it rhymes if you slur the words together but real rhymes are single words with exact sound. while door hinge is a rhyme if you connect the two but it is an indirect rhyme thus making it void. "

Make that argument to Akon, who rhymed the word "Pole" with "Floor" with "Know" "

Oh shit son. You're a fool for this one- anime carrots look like Death Note

Say whatever you want, but produce and seduce don't rhyme. I take my rhyming lessons from the master, Edgar Allan Poe. The Raven is still the best poem of all time, and it proves that if it doesn't rhyme, it's not a poem.

amature rhyme scheme, the one two punch.  
 
Yo I throw a death row rhymes about carrots 
it will crawl through you mind like a bunch of ferrets 
like weed, it's going to clear it 
your going to swing it like a wii fit 
after the rhyme kills you, your body will be crawling with maggots 
it's going to sound like a turd, your rhyme is shit 
 
you go no style, no delivery 
i'm going to mash it like celery 
i'm going to freestyle it so clearly 
i'm going to pop this rhyme like a cherry 
 
since we are talking about fruits and not vedgetables 
I just want to give a shout out 
to all the real rappers on the site who eats sour crouts 
but instead has a carrot in their mouth 
 
Instead, your rhymes reminds me of carrot top 
I want to bury it in the soil, all the way to the top 
honestly like snoop said, drop it cause it's hot 
i'm going to kill it, blow it up, like your yaught 
i'm a better rapper than you whether your like it or not 
if that's 4 minutes tops 
i'm going to put holes through it, like it got shot 
that's a great rhyme.........................not.  
 
I freestyle off the top of my mind like it's a poem 
I find it easy, want to battle me, just go home 
I flow so many metaphors it will bust your dome 
my rhymes are so incredible, you might as well turn it into chrome 
 
then turn it into a trophy 
that's the only way your going to know me 
having a good rhyme scheme is the key 
listening to my metaphors, your going to get dizzy 
I flow non stop i'm so free 
I don't kick it old school like easy E 
my flows are fast and hardcore, it's not cheezy 
it's not cheap like a slut, it's not sleezy
 

dis shit be trippin 

MC Tebbit will fuck yo shit. 
That's why they call him MC Tebb-it 
 
/thread

@SecondPersonShooter: 
 
Not bad i'm just trash talking 
i'm so smart, you will think i'm stephen hawkings 
without the wheel chair, yet with all the brains 
and my only complaint  

is your using the one two flow 
that's really like slow mo 
old school rapper, you think that style's dope? 
I don't know, all i'm saying 
is i'm not playa hating 
did you say something about the hatians?   

When you rhyme more than a one two punch, it's called a flow 
when you keep tearing shit up, like you tear up dem hoes 
and sound like kayne, when you throw up an "oh noes" 
instead of throwing a brick like shaq, where the back board broke 

 
but the basketball bounced back, landed you with a broken nose 
you don't know, that i'm the only one who's raps dope 
maybe others doesn't know how to rap, they like we are putting on a show 
when the hurricane is over, i'm going to be the only that floats
 
I'm a slam dunk, way more than a one two punch 
old school and new school, i'm going to take your lunch 
money, because i'm the bully 
own this rap game like professional MC 
 
I'm i'm saying, is i'm the dream team 
and you want to play like the pros, you got to change your rhyme scheme 
I spit so many metaphors, and deliver it mean 
i'm so good at rapping, i'm every rapper's wet dream   
everywhere I type on the forum I am making a scene 
i'm so popular, there are pictures of me that are memes 
I wipe the floor with other rappers until it's so clean, i'm mr. clean  
honestly i'm demonic when I spit the flows, i'm a rap fiend 

Sick fuck

(moved this rhyme to a later post, yeah i'm just having fun freestyling like a battle, however there is respect, I just wanted to show my skills too and at the same time I improved your flow)
 
have more to say, did it take you all day to write that
I don't care if you said you ain't black
i'm ain't either, what's up with that?
are you saying no one else can actually rap?
Fuck, that, I don't belive that
that's all i'm saying, I bust a freestyle smoking crack
i'm just joking, i'm just getting the munchies, I need a snack
I'm scooby doo, i'm going to take a dump in your shoe
come one play a beat, DJ clue
my freestyle will infect you like the swine flu
your by yourself, I can wreck your whole crew
if you had one
if you had a girlfriend, I want to have her cunt
who doesn't like a bit of fish, it smells great, for lunch
honestly, I don't even like the concept of brunch
just like I don't like the concept of the one two punch
it's like battling, bevis and butthead, while saying butt munch

It's a freestyle, I won't diss your harshly
it's just for fun, i'm the joker, here with harley 
I just hope you aren't taking this seriously
i'm just writing anything off the top of my head like chris farley
getting a heart attack, chocking on brocoli
when your writing about rap my mind is free
then I made a batman reference, then I think about arnold being mr. freeze
okay now that's just cheezy
no more cheezey, than easy-e using the one two punch, where is the three?      
knowing me, my rhyme scheme goes to infinity     
 
Okay here is the new flow, let's talk about stuff, no need to alarm 
we are just here on giantbomb 
we are having fun, we both should be allies, drop a bomb on sadam  
honestly nothing bad, nothing wrong  
he's already dead, he's been hanged  
the u.s is getting out or iraq this month, moving to afganistan 
they are going to continue their mission 
however there is a shadow government 
they are like the patriots, we can't not win 
they are the illuminati, with all of our federal reserve that they spent 
trying to bankrupt north americans
and the world, fuck the world 
we are both mc's we should get all the shows and all the hoes 
this is our talent we are sharing it like stocks 
I guess we are dope, when we make it drop.

The word awesome is thrown around a lot these days but without a shadow of a doubt this thread is awesome!

(i'll write one more freestyle then, put it here so you can read it next time. That would be my last one for today, it's not direct at you, just like at other rappers in general)

Fuck the world, like street fighter go for broke
I can freestyle like i'm insane in the membrane when I toke
Yes I got something to prove, like gta's san andreas big smoke
I'm a hitman, lyrical assassin, i'm a professional 
 

It's like a deja vu i've been here before
yes I have been in rap battles dropping metaphors
I win every single match, I show my competitors the door
they are like the bull, i'm the matador  

I just have to show them red
they will charge at me full power with their head
they will hit nothing with their street cred
as I pull the rug under you, right beneth your legs  

Now i'm using a style just like drake 
i'm not going to read from a blackberry when I rap because I ain't fake
i'm a corbra, i'm going to bite you like a snake
the venom is toxic you can feel it on your leg  

I just want to write one more rap before I go to bed
i'm not tired yet, but i'll just can't get it out of my head
i'm an iceberg that is big
i'll drop any other rappers like they are the titanic  

When other rappers drops it, they drop it like a semi automatic
but to me, I drop it fully automatic
I don't really need street cred
If i'm acknowledge as being good at rap online, I really don't need to brag    

This shit is fuckin' intense.

SecondPersonShooter and HitmanAgent47, 
Their rap battle is more memorable than 9/11  
Was that more controversial than mentioning Haitians? 
I'm trying to live up to your rap song expectations. 

Some people reading this might think this is inane, 
I myself am wondering if these two are sane.  
These characters are about as talented as Vanilla 'Robert'  Ice 
And half as entertaining as a thread on relationship advice.   
 
They're incapable of using the correct form of "There, they're or their" 
Do you think these criticisms are being a bit unfair? 
Your ability to draw metaphors is something you brag about
Yet your grammatical faux pas is starting to make me doubt 
That either of you understand what English is all about.  
 
Maybe the English language is something you just can't grasp 
Like you struggling with your fat date Brenda's bra clasp
But hey, carry on rapping on a video game forum 
It's as good an idea as chatting about home decorum  

SHIT 
HS21 IN THE BUILDING 

Holy fuck Giant Bomb you have raised the bar once again.

i need a beat... huh? HUH?

@HS21:   
I like your rap style, you really say it raw 
however I thought you were an ally, until I see your conclusions drawn 
honestly your thread about relationship advice, really made me yawn 
the women you try to talk to in your blog, looks as ugly as goldie hawn 
Maybe your insulting my grammer, yet I don't know what drug your on 
the way you say your rap, it sounds like a rap song  
that's because you copied my style, however your doing it wrong
it's all twisted, like someone is saying it smoking a bong 
 
I honestly asked you if your blog was a diss of me

without the deception, I see it so clearly 
you said it was a tribute to me, which I see it to the contrary 
putting me in the limelight, bottom feeding, trying to start some controversy 
I'm the king of controversy, i'm bigger than elvis presley  
honestly, you think your funny, but your just jealous of me 

honestly that wasn't very nice, if you like life, why in the world did you compare to vanilla ice 
I change my style, now it's like the wu tang, clan 
I work behind the scenes, like half life 2, you can call me the G man 
I also wear a suit, carry a briefcase, you can call me the hitman 
i'm going rambo on you like in my rhymes like afganistan 
i'm going to invade this shit, reorganize it, like george washington 
it's unfair what he did to the indians 
however it's no worst than you posing as my friend 
then when you see the opportunity, you took my land 
I mean my simple verses 
you used it to gain fame, throwing a bunch of curses  
 
I write these raps raw, like hannibal lecter 
are you saying I need to write it with a spell checker? 
honestly, I don't have time for it, so save your lecture 
biting into other's weak rhymes, I have to clean the blood off my shirt

This thread is THE SHIT!

" @Linkin10362 said:

" This thread is NOT SHIT! "

fixed "

" @dudeglove said:

" @Linkin10362 said:

" This thread made me SHIT! "

fixed "

fixed  "

.....

"  

"

Hey there rabbits, I wrote a new rap yesterday, it's not about carrots, want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes, about global total control? You must of think there is smoke fumes, around me when I wrote this song yesterday called the illumination. I didn't want to post it rabbits, I didn't think you would be ready for it yet.
 
You take the blue pill, press back on your browser, you wake up and belive what you want about the twin towers. You take the red pill, i'll show you everything that happened from the time to our founding fathers to the new world order, you don't have to belive me, I however I offer only the truth, want to confirm the information, there is a ton of research you can do on youtube.  
  
Take the blue pill, back on your browser 
 
or 

The red pill, click on spoiler 
 

 
Illumination: part 1 rap song

Hey i've decided to stop putting the upper verse about my song illumination with a spoiler. At the same time I wrote illumination part 2 when I posted the above song. It has to do with conspiracy theories, every single one combined in one. If you haven't researched illuminatis on youtube, which is an interesting topic btw, this is basically everything they are saying all in two songs. Of course i'm not saying you should belive me, research the claims yourself and be neutral without laughing. However that is only what they are saying. I started studying it a week ago. I think it's the most interesting topic i've ever studied on youtube. If you played a rap instrumental, you can literally rap and listen to the song as if it was a real rap song.   
 

Illumination: part 2

We all live in an illusion
this world that we live in
Let's talk about darwinism
he was brought up by the church of satanism
to give the world, the theory of evolution
also another guy introduced an occult practice called hynotism
as a new form of science
as a way to say people had past life regression
to have you beliving 
if there is an after life? How can there be heaven?
that what they told you was wrong, from religion
that there was no god
that jesus wasn't flogged
that he didn't walk
over water and he wasn't on the cross

we gave albert einstein credit throug out history
the atomic bomb is created from old satanic soccery
creating during a meeting at the bohemian secret society
that introduce the atomic bomb from old ancient alchemy
the splitting of atoms was a symbol of satan being born
before hiroshima they actually tested this atomic bomb
also did you know
when the first nuke was dropped, we had alot more ufos
they had big eyes, no ears, nose or lips
we were decieved thinking it's flying spaceships
but in reality, they are just demon spirits
to continue their deception, you just have to belive it
these demons are just being hynotic
honestly, they can't walk through walls, your not being abducted
your just a demonic possession subject
honestly ask your self, how come these ships haven't landed?
they dissapear out of nowhere, like it has no piolet?
or why haven't they invaded us yet?
they move unlike any jet
they don't actually conform to physics
when this bomb dropped, evil spirts can't get enough of it
illumination created a fake corpes and called it a the rosswell landing
you were given a fake story by the government
then we have hollywood movies perpetuating
these aliens as a real thing
that at 2012 fake demonic ufos will come down then
they will promise a new world order like they are friends
they will fool every government and every religion
don't belive it because they are from satan
we will give up our governement and follow their one world nation
you will know this deception
because of the last chapter called revelations
they talk about the mark of the beast 666
what they mean is a triangle tatoo, or a microchip
without it, you can't even go shopping, you can't even eat
Honestly that would be the end of days
when the human race will be a bunch of slaves
you look at obama, he's said to be trust worthy, very nice
however he ushered in this new era, he is the anti christ

how did all this start, it started in heaven
satan was gods greatest creation
then god created humans
he created eve so adam will have a friend
satan was jealous so he tempted eve with the apple of knowledge
she ate it and god was furious
they had a battle in heaven, with all the demons
god kicked them on earth
they later procreated with giants
we called them nephlims
god was angry and flooded the land,
we have noah's ark
that's just like a videogame, when you press restart

before bush took office, he was part of skull and bones
they have to be possessed, before they can take the throne
or they can't have the power to rule our home
this has been happening throug out history, back to ancient rome
through out history, we offer our souls
without doing this, you won't be sucessful
this has happened alot in the music industry
they use satanic symbols, to control what you hear, what you see
you all have been decieved
I adressed almost everything from this secret society
if you don't want to be decieved
then check all my references on google or youtube please
if you don't belive in this, they sucessfully kept you ignorant
you are part of their plan to start a new world government
you will play right into their stunt
you didn't exercise properly your freedom
you deserve none

these tin foil hats conspiracy theories and religion 
had it right from day one 
they are trying to not let you bear guns 
they are trying to change the constitution 
when they start up their new world order, their new government

His rap rocked so hard,  it took almost a month until someone could even post in this blog again.