Can patch notes be haunted?

Like, ghosts get transferred through patch notes to other computer games?

So you're saying that, for example, I could read some Planetside 2 patch notes, and by so doing I could allow a spirit into my computer? and that spirit would then go on to haunt this copy of Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers I have on here?

Sounds plausible, I guess.

How do I know that you're not patch notes? Hmmmm...

Preeetty sure haunted patch notes aren't a thing. Haunted patches might be though.

What if we're all just patch notes to one another

High?

Haunted patch notes are the least of your worries. You still have to contend with haunted Morrowind mods and haunted Majora's Mask cartridges.

Dude, what? Don't be silly. Haunted patch notes... yeesh... everybody knows the only file that can be haunted is the executable. Ghosts, skeletons, and various haints can't enter patch notes because of that fateful day in 1863 when a patch note had a ghost and ate everybody and then died and now the ghost of patch notes keeps other patch notes from being haunted because magic.

Edit: I just want to say that this thread is fucking amazing and I hope it has a bright, bright future.

What if there are ghosts in this thread RIGHT NOW?

That sounds like something a ghost would say...

Someone bumped this thread, but there's no post from them here.
O shit.

I welcome our new future where any and all patch notes are read and maintained by tough British soldiers who wear skull balaclavas with sunglasses. Oh wait, you mean ghosts ghosts? Well, yeah. Ghosts are all around us. We are being touched by five ghosts at any one time. It's true.

This thread is pretty dumb.

...I'll allow it.

Sometimes including ancient, forbidden incantations is just what you need to get everything in line.I think it's a coding thing.

*ghost noises*

What if I'm a ghost?

Or you?

This post is haunted, now that you've read it, so are you!

Who you gonna call?

Some Dev team...I guess?

Yeah, it's possible for them to be haunted but I don't know where you're getting the idea that they transfer to other games. A game's patch notes being haunted typically indicates that only the game that was patched is now haunted, and the only way for that ghost to transfer to another game would be if somehow the patch notes were mistakenly posted for another game. It's rare but it's not out of the realm of possibilities. Battlenet is a hive of patch note activity and the barrier between games is often tenuous, meaning it's theoretically possible for the ghost of one game's patch notes to pass through the barrier when it's at its weakest point -- when two games are patched at the same time... I've only heard stories but nothing has ever been proven.

Steam has VAC -- Valve-ANTI-Christ -- which acts as a kind of on-the-fly exorcising for each game in Valve's library, and because each game on Steam is managed by distinct and individual developers patch notes never come into contact with one another. It's only when a developer has multiple active games on Steam and is patching them frequently that a ghost may pass from one game to another, but these are typically benign passings, the ghosts don't harbor any malcontent upon entering the new game. It's because Blizzard's games are so different to each other that their Battlenet platform can conjure spiteful and vindictive hauntings. Still, like I said, it's only stories...

GHOST PROBLEMS

Boo

Of course. Only if you read them though. Ever since I read those patch notes about how they were closing Destiny's loot cave, my left shoe continues to be filled with blood, and now I have a whole lot of blood, it's nuts.

Thanks all, this really cleared things up. What about actual patches themselves? Could a developer decide to haunt a game that was initially unhaunted through a patch? Making it an opening to haunt your computer?

What the fuck?

What if this thread is the patch notes to your life and you're the ghost....

I'm spooked

@dudeglove: Oh man, I just lost about twenty minutes.

100%, most definitely.

I heard that if you read the most recent patch notes for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive three times in front of a mirror with the lights off at midnight, then Gabe Newell will appear and stab you once with every knife in his collection.

Paragraphical Activity. Coming straight to Blu-Ray this Fall.

Thanks all. I appreciate the advice on computer ghosts and how to avoid them over the internet with video games!

Welp, the jig is up! Programming is actually just necromancy. All computers are powered by ghosts.

AH!

Shit dude, not cool.

@theht: I'm sorry, I recently read some patch notes. I black out sometimes and boo people.

As a developer myself, I am sick and tired of people accusing us of haunting their software. Listen, I want the product to be as unhaunted as anyone else. We pour our hearts and souls into making stuff, why would we want ghosts in it, haunting the joint up.

Sadly, ghosts are inevitable. Even NASA's software has ghosts, though I read that they were able to get it down to something crazy like only 1 ghost per 1000 lines of code or something. I bet games are closer to, like 5-6 every 60-70 lines.

Yup.

Oh you say you don't want ghosts, but in the very same breath you say you pour your soul into your games. A soul sounds an awful lot like a ghost to me! The proof is in the pudding people! Devs are out to haunt all our shit!

Wow caught him with his own words

So how am I suppose to know the patch notes are haunted? I don't want to pay some for some scam ghostbusting crew. Is there any DIY kit out there?

!

Ha ha ha! That is sure... definitely a coincidence! Ha ha!

• Increased stealthiness of ghosts by 25%
• Reduced effectiveness of exorcisms

Technically what your saying is correct however, I think we all skipped ahead a few steps and just took haunted patch notes at face value... BIG MISTAKE. Lets start at the beginning. How did the ghost come to haunt the fore mentioned patch notes? Well to put it simply ghosts, being the trans-dimensional beings that they are, can actually traverse freely throughout time,space, matter and yes even dimensions. However, contrary to popular belief ghosts don't actually have any sort of awareness, or any cognitive thoughts what so ever. They are just basically an accumulation of a (deceased) persons fears, anxiety's, thoughts and sometimes sexual desires. Which all combine into what some scientist call a "shapeless cloud of emotion" or "SCE".

Now, since these SCE's have no actual sense of self awareness they randomly move through the cosmos unknowing of what they are actually doing. Picture a blind/deaf man roaming the streets on his own. He has no sense for where he is or what he's even doing. Sometimes he bumps into other people, sometimes he just stands in the middle of a crowded restaurant. There is no rhyme or reason to his actions but his actions sometimes get in the way of other peoples good time. That is essentially what these SCE's are like.

Theoretically, SCE's are also able to enter the digital realm (AKA "Tron world") and inhabit certain documents such as a games patch notes which you mentioned. While inhabiting these patch notes the SCE is able to make itself aware to the reader by causing things like typos or accidental askii art (AKA "Tripple A"). Scientifically speaking, SCE's can also present itself in the form of a virus. I once got such a virus on my home computing machine that made it so every time I pushed the space bar this would start playing.

That's the gist of it.

'kay, bye!

Is this Frog Fractions 2?

@fatalbanana:

But ghosts can be evil ghosts with naughty intentions.