My friend got really puppy'd up

I have two really good friends from my youth, the three of us went to a very large college party to celebrate the 21st birthday of two younger friends of ours. Two people from the community were in the from seats on the way there and on the way back. My friend's joining the military, while we were there he was very accepting of our support, but on the way back he got violent. He started twisting my hand and hurting me so I stopped talking. For the rest of the way, he started abusing our friend in the middle. Our friend kept telling the driver to pull over, but he wouldn't. We dropped our violent friend off, but his Dad, who only speaks Korean heard the noise outside. When our friend came out, he started wresting his Dad. I didn't realize this, but one of the passengers did. We ran back, but out of pride the family told us to leave.

I'm worried about my friend, who've I've been close to for a very long time. Any advice would be useful.

Tell them when they are sober how it made you feel. Otherwise generally these types of people arent accepting of input or confrontation on the issue. You may have to cut them off if it continues to be a large problem.

I think I'm scared to. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but I don't think he'd respond well if I brought this up with him. But at the same time, he's one of my best friends and he hasn't gotten like this for years. I know I sound like a bitch, but when you've known someone as well as I've known him for this long it's hard.

You don't sound like a bitch. You sound like a person who cares about their friend, and understands that confronting them about their behaviour will be difficult and uncomfortable.

If you're close friends, lean on that and just talk about it. Maybe start by asking why he behaved like that, or jump straight into "that wasn't cool man." I dunno, but definitely be safe, if that's a concern. Good luck duder.

You don't sound like a bitch.

Thank you sir. I grew up in a tough neighborhood, where talking directly can be hard. If my other friend tells me things are fine in the morning I'll probably let it go, but if not we'll have to talk with him. I just dislocated my shoulder skiing (with the friend who got violent tonight). I really don't want to fuck up my shoulder up anymore. Although, him getting violent is much more rare when he's sober, I feel like he might not fight me.

If he's really your friend, he wouldn't let anything get between that friendship. Confront him when he's in his right mind and tell him how much of a dick he was being. Unless stuff like this has happened before, it was probably just the alcohol taking over the situation (and maybe a bit of anxiety from joining the military). Alcohol emotionally affects some people differently. Some people are happy drunks, some are sad drunks, some are angry drunks. It might shed some light on a person's inner turmoil, but it shouldn't be a representation of who they are.

Also, the mods don't like it when people swear in their thread titles (it is against the rules). Just a heads up.

He could be feeling uneasy about joining the military and starting to freak out a little bit about it. Alcohol tends to bring that sorta thing to the surface. I would talk to him about it when he's sober and let him know that it was not cool to be physically hurting you and your other friend. For what its worth I think this kinda thing would more serious to me than "sounding like a bitch", but I don't know what the situation is like where you live and in your age group.

Swearing in thread titles is against the rules, miscreant. Next time it'll be six years in the iso-cube.

Oh...that title makes SO much more sense to me now. I was very confused when I read the post and it wasn't about him splurge adopting 10 puppies.

You worrying about you talking to your friend and seeming "soft" or that being weird just speaks to how younger men have trouble expressing themselves or how that is even frowned upon. Don't feel bad about that man. Just getting over that will help you out. Otherwise you get in these situations. If it makes you unhappy and you're worried do something.

I would guess your friend might have something really bothering them and this is how they are expressing it because alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Might make you act out in a weird way still but you are going to act out. I'm generally a big believer in people being that way when they act out when they're drunk.