Okay, I'm not crazy, am I? (Attempting to decipher female-speak.)

Alright, so here's the context: I used to talk to this girl occasionally after originally meeting her many years ago. We dropped out of contact awhile, and we recently got back in touch, but she's been acting a little... weird? So, this kind of all came to a head tonight as I was just chatting her up and making conversation, and I mentioned how she talked differently and seemed different. And then, well...

Can anybody decipher this sequence of events that happened? I literally did not understand her ending point, and I was left with the most confused and befuddled expression. And yes, she was entirely serious, because a few minutes later she posted something on Twitter about hollow words and showing egos and other weird pseudo-poetic shit.

I'm not crazy. This makes no sense, right?

Right? Or does it? Fucking I don't know.

She's calling you a bigot because you call women "females". I know you are trying your best but you really are a bigot if that is the way you talk to women.

She collects belly button hair lint and forms it into a teddy bear... which she will now call Jason and puncture with needles.

You are totally insane! Can't you see that she's right!?!

Also the black dots in your eyes taste funny!

Why wont these females respond positively to my condescending nature?

Your bigotry knows no bounds.

She seems a little socially awkward. The "blurts things out and calls people out" sort of person.

The whole, "belly button lint" comment was so left field, I didn't even know what to say, so I just said, "alrighty then."

I don't... what.

Females, man.

Duder... let it go, you cant decipher that...

@ThatFrood said:

Females, man.

@Kikarote said:

Duder... let it go, you cant decipher that...

I bet sending it through three different translators might yield some results...

...for science?

Maybe she didn't liked it when you called her strange.

What is wrong with all of you!??!?!?!? Are you all serious right now!?

@sashimi_biscut said:

What is wrong with all of you!??!?!?!? Are you all serious right now!?

...Amanda?

@sashimi_biscut said:

What is wrong with all of you!??!?!?!? Are you all serious right now!?

???

This chick definitely seems like someone you want to stay away from if she's venting random frustration like that on you. Nothing to decipher here.

Needs more context. Also, where the fuck is that picture of Ryan Davis?

Women are from a different universe man. As much as I love mine, I frequently ponder just as you do. Just let it go.

I don't think this has anything to do with 'female speak', whatever that is. Everyone woman I have interacted with has ups and downs like anyone else. Clearly she was offended, already upset, or just doesn't like you. That's all.

Also as much as I hate using them, emoticons works. If you're not meaning to sound like a jackass, throw a little face in there, totally stops some things from coming across as 'im just kidding' opposed to 'im a shit bag'.

@deathstriker666 said:

Needs more context. Also, where the fuck is that picture of Ryan Davis?

You mean this one?

It's like.... I think to myself no one could ever be serious about this. No one is actually like this. This is a parody of an internet joke, right? This is some sort of sarcasm or troll or something and everyone is in on it. No way that all the young men right now can be saying these words and think "yes these words makes sense!". What?

YOU GUYS ARE THE BUTT OF THIS JOKE! A JOKE TOLD OVER AND OVER!

@sashimi_biscut: I'm blunt and honest, but I'm not cruel, if that's what you're getting at. She's similar, which is why I had no issues saying, "you're strange."

She's definitely weird or has some baggage with that word, but I think you need to work on your keeping a conversation going skills. You come off as cold.

I don't know, could use more context.

@sashimi_biscut: Then, instead of dancing around it, why don't you just tell us what happened there?

@Yummylee said:

She collects belly button hair lint and forms it into a teddy bear... which she will now call Jason and puncture with needles.

What if she knows that HE IS collecting belly button hair lint and forms them into teddy bears?

I imagine she's trying to be funny or something. Or perhaps she's saying you suck because you're implying that she has a serious mental condition or something. The text is the fault, not the female form.

Sounds like she is strange to me. Not worth your trouble man. You seemed fine to me, it's just that some chicks just don't get it.

I think she has a mental condition though and I don't bother with chicks with any kind of mental or social problems. Either that or she's a teenage girl. How old is she?

@Pr1mus said:

@Yummylee said:

She collects belly button hair lint and forms it into a teddy bear... which she will now call Jason and puncture with needles.

What if she knows that HE IS collecting belly button hair lint and forms them into teddy bears?

Goddamn it.

I'm going to bed.

She likes you, she's socially awkward, she wants your attention. Your small, somewhat condescending, replies tickled her awkward bone and made her go into full over-bitch. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just don't be so god damned cold when you're talking to people.

Giving the conversation a look, I think the problem is "Why?" and "Alright then." This issue I think falls into preceived tone. Simply asking "Why?" the way you intended it was simply a short concise request for more information about her "zesty" comment. She might have interepeted it as inquiring more about her strangeness as a negative. A better way of phrasing this would have been "Why would you go with bizzare?", it denotes a sharing in her wacky choice of words. But the main issue I think falls in the "Alright then" comment. It was likely meant to mean I accept your answer and lets continue the conversation, she might have seen it as a dismissive way of why she is not "strange". I would have advised something funny to change the subject and distract her from any negative aspects to being strange. There is also a possibility that she might have had a bad experience with that word describing her, which could more easily explain her twitter comment assuming it was about you. These are just guesses of course, but you can just chalk it up next time you see her for being "out of sorts" and that it "sometimes makes you come off as a bit short". Short as a replacement for condescending which is more correct to both your word choice and likely mental state than what she thought.

Try not calling a woman strange next time. Find a better way to articulate your thoughts or you'll just come off as an asshole. Or you could forget about it and move on to a more stable prospect (if in fact she is crazy).

@Napalm said:

@sashimi_biscut: I'm blunt and honest, but I'm not cruel, if that's what you're getting at. She's similar, which is why I had no issues saying, "you're strange."

Okay. I don't want to make broad assumptions about you and this conversation, but you have put a lot of things open without any context.

You call women "females" and I know to a lot of young men this seems to mean nothing but it really is a degrading term to use for women. It takes away the humanity of whatever woman you are referring to and makes it out to be some sort of experiment or case study. Life is not a case study and stop thinking of it like that. I know life is easier that way but stop, because all the basement science logic is just going to bring you to bigotry because you have a limited view of facts about the world. You didn't take a full year of study on "females" or the history of evo-psych and biotruths so stop making them up with your "logic" and assuming them true. (this does not necessarily apply to you, op, because you have given little context)

Women are women, not females. Every single person i've ever seen or heard use the term "females" for women in a general term has had trouble relating to and generally have very sexist views of women. This is because the use of females denotes a disconnect of that person and women. In other terms, they don't consciously think they are second class but they talk and behave as if they are.

Did this kind of behavior come through in your conversations? Did your "blunt and honesty" come out by saying "well you are a female so" or "well gay people act like this because" or anything else like that? Sometimes being blunt and honest does not mean you are right, it just means you are honest about your bigotry.

Edit: DAMMIT DON'T GO TO BED I JUST TYPED THIS OUT YOU READ IT!

Jason. Jason? Jason! 
 
 
Name is forever ruined for me. Thanks, video games.

Women are fucking nuts.

If you're talking to a woman, either ask her a follow-up question to whatever she just said or turn it into a compliment. For example, your response after the belly button lint comment should've been something like:

-I wouldn't care if you did, I'd still think you were a pretty amazing person :)

or

-You've really seen someone do that? No way! Tell me about it.

Instead you just brushed her off, equivalent to saying "you're weird and I don't care about anything you have to say". Also, she really is weird and you shouldn't give much serious thought to anything she says. Find someone else to focus on :)

@WalkerD said:

She likes you, she's socially awkward, she wants your attention. Your small, somewhat condescending, replies tickled her awkward bone and made her go into full over-bitch. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just don't be so god damned cold when you're talking to people.

Haha she hates you so she probably wants your penis. PLAYING HARD TO GET AM I RIGHT GUYS!?

No. You are wrong.

@Napalm said:

Goddamn it.

I'm going to bed.

Nighty night, Napalm. Have a nice rest. Hope you have nightmares of a thousand lint stuffed teddy bears violently gang-rape your bloody, rotting corpse you bigoted sack of shit

@sashimi_biscut: I don't mean to sound rude and I certainly don't mean this as any sort of insult. But do you have some form of autism? This over-thinking of phrases used in basic social situations is on the level of someone with SEVERE autism. You might want to get yourself checked out.

@WalkerD said:

@sashimi_biscut: I don't mean to sound rude and I certainly don't mean this as any sort of insult. But do you have some form of autism? This over-thinking of phrases used in basic social situations is on the level of someone with SEVERE autism. You might want to get yourself checked out.

I really do not appreciate the SEVER ableism.

You were being cold, she was being crazy, end of story. From what i can tell from the snippet you seemed like you were brushing her off which rubbed her the wrong way, and she in turn overreacted. That's it.

@sashimi_biscut: You know the word, "females" isn't mentioned anywhere in my OP, right?

@sashimi_biscut: Only someone who is completely irrational gets out of sorts when they don't get the expected response from someone they have no interest in. You're getting to the point where I honestly believe you're trolling.

@Napalm said:

@sashimi_biscut: You know the word, "females" isn't mentioned anywhere in my OP, right?

This is a joke. This has to be a joke! Because the title of this thread has the words, "Attempting to decipher female-speak".

@sashimi_biscut: Oh, woops. Except the title. Was attempting to be witty, that's all.

@WalkerD said:

@sashimi_biscut: Only someone who is completely irrational gets out of sorts when they don't get the expected response from someone they have no interest in. You're getting to the point where I honestly believe you're trolling.

I'm not trolling, I just secretly like you and want to have sex with you.

@Donkeycow said:

You were being cold, she was being crazy, end of story. From what i can tell from the snippet you seemed like you were brushing her off which rubbed her the wrong way, and she in turn overreacted. That's it.

Yeah, this is how I see it. She genuinely seems like she was just trying to goof off and, at the very least, have a lighthearted conversation and you were just like "wtf is up with you?" She did seem like she was overreacting though.

@BabyChooChoo said:

@Donkeycow said:

You were being cold, she was being crazy, end of story. From what i can tell from the snippet you seemed like you were brushing her off which rubbed her the wrong way, and she in turn overreacted. That's it.

Yeah, this is how I see it. She genuinely seems like she was just trying to goof off and, at the very least, have a lighthearted conversation and you were just like "wtf is up with you?" She did seem like she was overreacting though.

Yeah, this is probably the best reply in this thread. I see that now.

@sashimi_biscut said:

@WalkerD said:

@sashimi_biscut: I don't mean to sound rude and I certainly don't mean this as any sort of insult. But do you have some form of autism? This over-thinking of phrases used in basic social situations is on the level of someone with SEVERE autism. You might want to get yourself checked out.

I really do not appreciate the SEVER ableism.

Point being that if it hasn't already been diagnosed it may be causing problems for you, I wanted to stress this. Autism is a very mainstream issue these days, and it's not too hard to get help.