It's like a Really Terrible Version of Contra
The movie is out in theatres and, well, looks like refried crap. The game is out in stores and is…well, we’ll discuss that in a moment.
I have no idea how closely the game follows the plot of the movie. I haven’t seen it and, honestly, have zero desire to do so. But the game has you going through the jungle, arctic, desert, and some island with a massive weapon in pursuit of COBRA.
I suppose it is comparable, in some way, to the classic Contra titles, but I suppose it’s damaged goods now without a great deal of appeal left. To be generous, this is a rather tedious game. You do have a ton of Joes to play as, but the game could not conceivably be more linear than it is. Also, the Joes are not appreciably different. All of them are either commando (where your kicks and punches are more damaging than your bullets), combat (which mediocre in all things) and heavy weapons (who are big dudes with massive guns but an inability to properly crack an egg with a punch). There might be one or two rooms off the beaten path, but there is nothing much beyond that. This is still the best GI Joe game I’ve ever played, but this isn’t the highest of praise.
The game’s single biggest flaw is the difficulty level. Unless you’re playing on easy, the game will beat the high holy living hell out of you. The game has multiple checkpoints, but they don’t seem to do anything beneficial. If you pass checkpoint 1, for example, and die --- you get to start the whole mission over. And most of the missions are absurdly difficult with you fighting 5 guys AND a vehicle with some turrets thrown in so dying frequently will happen. Since they are not overly short, this becomes an exercise in tedium seldom seen in gaming. So, on easy it plays like the arcade shooter but it is so insufferably simple that it is not all that fun, either. You also get to pilot vehicles, but the controls are a major pain that repetition does not make easier to handle.
This is the epitome of a rental. It is not a game worth buying. The checkpoint system is amongst the dumbest ideas I’ve seen in gaming. The difficulty is absurd. And the levels are so linear.
