Katawa Shoujo is a free-to-download dating sim visual novel from Four Leaf Studios. It stands out a bit from other entries in the genre in that the girls in the game all have a disability of some sort.
I feel like that is the most counter-intuitive choice in the entire game
I go into most choice-based games assuming the thing I think I should do is always the wrong thing to do. I dream of a game where there's no wrong answers, just different ones. I guess Heavy Rain is kind of like that?
Pooping with the door open? How has Emi fallen so low?"Looks like a constipated rabbit snuck into your house and gave it a try.""I didn't invite you to have dinner with my mom so I could BE with you. Where did you even get that idea?""I think it was after you threw me off the bed and started shouting that you were the King of the Ring."And that you're the Incredible Hulk and have a penis and a bunch of other confusing things.Swing and a miss.Yea, you could've been a little less....accusatory with that.................................................It's one of THOSE moments, isn't it?"So stop calling yourself The Nakraist. It's getting annoying.".....On second thought, maybe he SHOULD'VE gone after Meiko.At this point, I've just started drinking the whole bottle.0_0
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Guess that makes one of us. Dick."Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't very smart to say that after learning that her dad's dead."You don't get any shoulder touches in the bad ending, asshole.Even seeing your thought processes play out, I still don't know what you hoped that would accomplish."She's messing up my rhymes, too? That bitch!""I usually duck into the girl's bathroom, knowing I can find Hanako. She's been surprisingly sympathetic as we both drink away the sorrow."You know things have gone horribly wrong when Mutou becomes the comic relief.It makes its own caption.Remember when Rin followed Hisao to Emi's place? She saw."I didn't know how much I missed Lilly until I had to deal with Emi."Just like Emi. Not that that's a good thing."Not that I've been running faster. Time itself seems to speed up, for whatever reason."Is Lilly really the only character in the game without some kind of spirit animal?"For a second, I thought some grotesque monster had approached me so it could suck the life force from my veins." "................http://youtu.be/NzU-Xx6fG7g""I know we had sex that one time, but that was long ago and I don't t-" "What are you talking about?" ".......Nothing. Just ask your question or something.""Unless it's that burned up chick who sits in the back. Her life will be a never-ending labyrinth of misery. I'm going to show her that alcohol works as well on her depression as it does on me." "Man, Shizune does NOT mess around, does she?""Misha, why are you spinning around so fast? Are you dizzy?" "Sorry. Force of habit."Would you look at that? Misha's giving you another chance at the good ending. You better not fuck t-Goddamn it.
Whoops, looks like I forgot something. But against my better judgment I started over on 999, this time with screenshots. Which I will refrain from continuing to post here.
Holy shit. Surprise bump of the thread. I thought you guys were going to leave Babyface to his fate. Anyway, time to put The Last of Us down and get to writing this fucker.
"I tried that once, and all it got me was this exact situation."Did Rin tell her about the rooftop speech?She's still not buying it.Misha, being serious? How ridiculous!Shicchan's got things figured out. Well, except for that whole "not treating people like objectives" thing. Fortunately, that's not a problem here, for some reason."How boring!""That's not going to work, Shicchan. You couldn't whisper in life, could you?""Now if only I knew what the hell that meant."Don't we all?In the classroom? Man, this really IS a bad ending.As does the "you done fucked up" music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JeJjWeYQucDon't we all?..............I meant that in a sad way, not a mean way.It feels like it happened yesterday.Man, what an oddly quick happy ending. Once you ignore the soul-crushing music, of course.Wouldn't want to make THAT mistake ag-Guess he took too long on the pause."Remember that time I had dinner with your family?" "You mean the reason I'm breaking up with you?" "But what about that time we had buttsex in the shed?" "Surprisingly, YOU were the bigger pain in the ass." "How about when we met?" "There was more blood and yelling than in the shed.""Too many to count........That's not a good thing, is it?"Or maybe he didn't take a long enough pause.What are you talking about? You look like a small child, and he acts like one. You're MADE for each other.You'd better hope the G-Man does. (Did I honestly just type that?)"I don't remember saying that first part. I think you can guess why."Dying relationships are hilarious. Well, to her, at least.No to both of those statements."I settle on her. I've already burned enough bridges as it is."And so ends Emi's s-"Try. Again."That's better.....sort of."Sorry. Shicchan must've thought I was setting you up for that.""Oh, it can't be THAT bad." "She didn't want to tell me why the accident that took her legs was bothering her, and I said she could take that secret to the grave." ".........OK, that's pretty bad. Like, really REALLY bad."You know I'll find a way.Just replace the "hands on hips" part with the n-word."Isn't that how I got into this situation?" "Shut up."Or maybe you just forgot to set it back."I miss Rin and her wildly inappropriate jokes about my penis."We have it on tape!And Misha agrees with me...............What.Always Be a Complete Dick to Emi? Fucking God."Like, emotionally OK, not physically OK. Obviously.""I mean, yes, she has THAT plan, but I don't think she's expecting me to work some time travel magic........Did I really say that out loud?"
By the way, I could probably rename this thread "Surprise Bump" and nothing would change.
In case you haven't figured it out, yet, the general theme of Emi's route is the following.
That established? Let's watch Babyface unfuck things up. And then fuck them up.
Nice plan. This is exactly what happened in the bad ending.All according to plan."Goddamn it."You could've run in the opposite direction as her, or cut straight across the track, you know. Symbolism can wait. There's simply no time to enjoy this shoulder touch.With pink-haired girls, anyway.She's twitching even more when you use words like "driving" and "driven".THERE WE GO, BABYFACE! THERE WE GO!OK, so maybe the tone could use some work, but it's a start."Baby, I want to be your Emotional Alarm Clock." ".........." "......Sounded better in my head."Sounds like a dick move when you put it like that."That was all the nurse. Are you saying you want to comfort HIM when he's crying in his sleep?" ".......Yes.""Or that I can travel through time. But mostly the other thing."Remember: this is a happy ending. Apparently."You've been an insufferable prick the whole time that I've known you. You can't figure out the most obvious things when they're staring you in the face; you've made fun of every single person at this school for their disability; and to top it all off, your penis doesn't even work right."I hate when you're right."On closer inspection, it appears to be an actual knife. I guess she was right about me not being that observant."And then they have sex.That explains why it looks like it's 3 in the afternoon."Surprisingly few of them with Emi.""Let this be a symbol of our eternal passion."Not seen here."Whoops. Finger slipped."What's the worst that could happen? Other than THAT?"Just when I thought I could get some me time..."Her dad's death seems like a pretty BIG one to forget.Glad to see that you've learned so much.Why do I get the feeling that Meiko doesn't entirely approve of her daughter's relationships?"So would I."So she injures herself more than she poops? Why do I feel like the two events are related?"These plumbing bills will bankrupt us.""Your puns suck, Mrs. Ibarazaki." "Rin, what are you doing out there?" "Keeping my distance."Like this thread.It probably isn't."Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea to ask where Emi's dad is.""I BANISH THEE TO THE FARTHEST OF THE FARPLANES! I WILL BURN YOUR CLAN INTO PATHETIC ASH!" "Now I know where Emi gets it."Her food is THAT bad."She was set on 'The Fastest Thing Alive' until I told her that you can't kill fictional characters. She....she took it pretty hard.""And yet she's perfectly willing to let a friend watch her have sex."("Didn't even bat an eye at that last comment, did you?.....Still better than Jigoro.")
I wanted to work in a call back to the Final Fantasy Tactics joke I made a while ago, but I don't think anybody would get it.
Am I mixing up which choice leads to the good ending then?
They both do. In fact, following her into the kitchen is the only way to trigger the bad ending, and even then, you have to tell Misha to eat a dick. You get the bad ending because she's a lesbian and takes offense to that.
Remember guys: this option can't lead to a bad ending. It might look like a bad ending....but it isn't.
"Man, you sure are cavalier about your own daughter's hideous psychological scars.""But I've got a whole season of Cougartown to catch up on, so I guess she's gonna have to rely on you.""Better than Geppetto my pasty white ass."You know what? I'm gonna let Emi take this one. What have you got for us?What? That's it? That's not funny. You're terrible at this!"By Emi. You can imagine how much that hurts.""...and I still have an opportunity to save face. Then again, I DO have a lot of homework waiting for me."You wouldn't like her when she's angry. (I mean, we already know that, but it doesn't hurt to repeat it.)Or on the verge of tears, for that matter."I call the table a she. I'm not sure why.""I mean, yea, I failed miserably the last time I tried that, but.....I'm not sure how to finish that thought."It was probably the Geppetto thing.Oh, right. Remember when THAT was relevant to the plot? Me, neither."You're gonna get a lot of use out of that one!" "Good. I was wondering what you were doing when that conversation went downhill."How does that sound grosser than the sock?I think it was Iwanako.There's a nine hour pause between these two sentences as he irons out all the wrinkles."Why did I think this would make me feel better?""Not a bad idea..."Like when she said that she only 'likes' you just one sentence ago.Nobody tell her that Emi literally helped him on his feet."P.S. On second though, don't write me back. P.P.S. Then again, maybe you should. Don't listen to me. P.P.P.S......" It goes on like that for about twelve pages.You'd walk into Yamaku with a smile......and end up with Hanako or Rin. I don't know if that's for the best."Don't treat emotional problems with Hot Pockets."No crying Emi, for whatever reason.Specifically, this one."So she felt completely betrayed. Yea, yea, then what happened?""I guess she just needs more time to recover. And I don't think Emi being there would have made things easier.""Yea, I saw.""I found them touching. Kind of ruined my whole day.""........Too easy.""Like her mom's house?" "Exa....*sigh*""She's got a point, Hisao."Surprisingly much darker than when he just told her she could die, and not just because of the black background. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn..................Once you look past her complete lack of sleep, of course."So I'm going to stand outside the boy's locker room and have a good laugh.""...............How's that less awkward than this?""Last time I tell a girl about that letter."That's probably because you only had two choices, and both of them were terrible.You crafty bitch.
Let's see, I'm how many updates behind? Fuck, I don't know. I had caught up to the point where you started double posting updates for a while because you were going away or something.
For today's intro, a bit of a history lesson on Katawa Shoujo. This game's been in development as far back as 2006 (I think), and it's changed a lot over the years. Here's what it looked like in its earlier incarnations:
Essentially, dreary as hell, with monochrome backgrounds and slightly less well drawn characters. Hanako's alright, but the hell's going on with Emi's proportions? (You can see it in action here, albeit with Rin's older sister instead.) Presumably, this was also the version where Shizune blows her brains out while Babyface rapes a comatose Harlem. And then he dies in all the endings. Fortunately, that version of the game was nixed in favor of this version:
Pretty much the same game, with some minor art differences. Emi, Lilly, and Yuuko all looked noticeably more crap, Emi's name has Rin's color (or maybe Meiko's) for whatever reason, and some of the art wasn't as refined. (You can see early Lilly in a video I posted back in Poor Parental Cabbage, and we're going to see early Yuuko eventually.) Imagine Emi's portrait applied to the art. These are also all the assets the developers used for the Act 1 demo that was released a while back. Cut forward a few years later, some much needed art upgrades later, and we're where we are: Babyface finally figuring out what happened to Deckard's daddy.
"Finish that sentence for me."Note to self: make sure my jokes aren't actually canon."But before that happens, we should probably run a couple warm-up laps of everyday annoyances. Maybe stretch our understanding so we don't pull anything stupid."I told him that Ivalice vocabulary would come back to bite him in the ass."I saw how buffed your arms were after those weeks in the wheelchair. I can only imagine how ripped your psyche has to be."I guess that makes this a bromance?"That's right. She has a penis."Only one of them is leaving this roof alive.At this point, I think he's just fucking with him.I start the game up again for this feature, and this is the second line I encounter. Don't ever change, you magnificent bastard.Most of those guesses involve mole men.Oh so very fucking much. (Not to spoil anything, of course.)"Because if there's one place I know Emi won't be, it's the track."And cut to the very next screenshot..."Then what are we doing at the track." "Wait, this is the track? Then what are t-" "Bleachers."Why don't I remember the tongue? And why do I feel so right having said that?*starts tittering like a madman, knowing where the story ends up*"Not to mention what Emi must've been going through."What makes this especially strange is that Emi actually does have a portrait doing just that. It's just not on display here, for whatever reason.Today? Of all days? I think Misha needs some rest.At Camp Crystal Lake, judging by the smile."I am so scared. Please do not take my life."Because this isn't the scariest father figure you've seen so far?"You've been sitting there for ten minutes! Are you going to get on the bus or what?"Try "psychotic".Good to know.She's not the only one who's been forcing it. (I'm talking about myself.)Even though Meiko said she gets it from her dad."And most importantly, why did Emi bring me here?""Here he is, Hisao........Don't just stand there. Shake his hand, why don't ya!" "Uh, Emi? Your dad's dead." "W......what?""I only dyed my hair pink so I could be with Shicc-" "Wait, aren't we talking about your dead dad?" "Oh, yea."So Emi is essentially Sonic the Hedgehog? I guess it makes sense. They're both small, blue, fast, full of attitude, and took a real pounding toward the end. (It's just too easy!)"Oh, don't say that. Rin and I thought you were pretty good.""He's buried in the next plot.""But I'm two years below the legal limit." "........Aw, fuck."She knows what jokes I cut out. And you know why I cut them out."Mom? Can you drive us back to school? Moooom?"Heartwarming until you realize the second sentence changes absolutely nothing."I love you, Hisao." "Yea, that sure is something."Emi's still pissed at him for that bus comment.
"Seeing my dad's grave just gets me in the mood."Oh, you thought I was kidding, didn't you? No, Emi really does want to fuck Hisao.Have I told you what a weird ending this is? What a creepily goddamn strange ending this is?Expiration date: 2005."I don't know what worries me more: that she used her mouth to put it on, too, or that she's so good at it.""You know what a girl likes."Yea, THAT'S what makes this feel weird.Oh, you KNOW I'm checking up on Hanako.In case you can't tell, that's supposed to be CPR.I read "sweat time" as one phrase. Given what we've had to deal with so far, is it really all that surprising?But she's not wearing pa....STOP USING SUCH CONFUSING LANGUAGE!Oh dear god, it's the perfect set up. (And the perfect censor bar...almost.)I think he got enough of that with the demonic Lilly and the psychotic Shizune."Bet she wishes she could say that about the sex!""I honestly mean that. I'd have thought you were crazy if you told me I'd eventually have sex with a girl after seeing her dead dad."I think we're all confused."You know what this naked woman reminds me of? Death."And so ends Emi's r-Still not as terrifying as graveyard sex.
And so ends Tears in the Rain, the longest thread in this entire feature. Yet somehow, Poor Parental Cabbage got more attention. All that's left is to post the leftover material:
Gallery
And leave you with the super secret Act 5 to Emi's route: Consequences.
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Tune in tomorrow to find out where the timestream will dump Babyface next.
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