I want this to all be a joke. I wouldn't even be angry. This will be a sappy, rambling blog as I don't know where else to pour out my emotion.

It was announced that Ryan Davis has passed away and my heart is breaking. As I write this it is occasionally difficult to see the screen as my eyes mist up, occasionally pooling into legitimate, roll down the face tears. I always thought it odd to see people mourning the loss of public figures on television. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, time and time again I have watched people sobbing on major news networks over someone who didn't even know of their existence. I didn't get it, I thought it was all kind of silly. Today I am one of those people and if there were a news crew shooting B-roll you can bet I would be on film laying a bouquet of flowers and a 40 at the front of Ryan's home. He is my Princess Diana.

I didn't know the man. We never met, not even at a convention. Despite this, Ryan has filled the past several years of my life with hundreds, probably thousands of laughs and countless grins. He filled the host roll perfectly in my mind and had been doing it so long and so well that live shows and Bombcasts seemed off in his occasional absence. His comments were often insightful if not thought provoking and, as already stated, uproariously funny. What was even better, though, was when someone made Ryan laugh. His laugh cut through my headphones in a staccato of cackles that would bring a smile to my face, whether or not I even knew what he was laughing at. I loved hearing him crack up just off mic.

There goes my stomach again, knotting up the way it only has when I have lost family members.

I am filled with questions about what happened and why? What were the circumstances? Was it preventable? Not that any of this truly matters now. My heart goes out to Ryan's family, his new wife, Jeff and the entire GiantBomb crew. I'll take solace in the fact that so many wonderful moments are on film and in podcasts, available to relive and enjoy again, but right now I just cant bring myself to do it. Many people are posting videos and clips of their favorite Ryan moments and I can't click play. If I had to reason why it's probably one of those grief stages, denial maybe? Or it's because he was so young and had so much more to give that I cannot come to terms with the idea that he has given it all. I don't get to see any new Quick Looks, Thursday Night Throwdowns, Unprofessonional Fridays, or Bombcasts featuring Ryan Davis and that makes me so sad that I cannot imagine what those who knew him personally are going through.

I am going to miss him very much.

From the bottom of my heart, rest in peace duder.

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