BEfore i start can i just point out to MODS that this is a constructive criticismz blog of the internet. no reason to lock here!! Anyway, firstly i feel that giantbomb isn't argumentative enough. Now i'm sure a lot of you would think that is a good thing, but where is the fun on the internet without arguments? (and porn is banned on giantbomb so dont say that). It seems that whenever an interesting argument does come up, people just say annoyingly neutral things like "apples and oranges" or "i like both, who cares?"
My second criticism concerns the lack of game specific communities. But really thats just to do with lack of size, which one could call a good thing. But it is a shame there isn't much discussion on games after their release hype dies down. humph
And grumbling in third place is how every now and then an outcrop of new account trolls appears, which were fun at first but are now very old, and stale.
K thanx and bai. This post should be accompanied by some lame image, but i cba.
- Call everyone else, including your teammates, a "faggot"
-ALWAYS, and i mean ALWAYS use the battle rifle. Even if it is the single worst possible weapon for the situation, using anything else will immediately not make you pro
-Attack bungie on their forums every time you lose a game
-blame lag, or the broken game
-If your teammate grabs the sniper, it is your duty to your team to betray him
-Teabag everything. Even your own bodies
-We all know that MLG is a halo deity. As a result, if you lick their little balls and pretend that your are "MLG" and that you are srs bisnis, they will magically reward you with halo skillz
- WHen you win, it was because the other team were "noobs"
-When you lose, it was because the other team were "noobs"
-Address imperfections in your playstyle by screaming and raving incoherently
-Commit suicide if you don't have a Battle Rifle
-Claim you are "just warming up"
-Make a "mom" joke. When it backfires, tell the other person to "shut up faggot"
-Be perpetually furious
-Have "MLG", "snipe", "4-shot", "XxX" and "iTz" all in one gamertag
and dude this game is still ridiculously awesome! Like, really awesome. It just gives you a sense of adrenaline and extreme pressure to "get it right" as you're harrassed by Other racers from behind, and then elation as you whiz through those turns at extreme speed.
The cars feel so "unique" - you can almost feel the power pushing the tyres to the limits in an old ford mustang, and whipping the car round like... a whip. you can feel the strain on the tyres of an enzo ferrari as it handles some corners with tremendous speed pushing the boundries of whats physically possible. You can feel how a U-class tiyota supra with 1000HP is almost blown away by it's own power, incapable of keeping it under a rein. You can just feel how eveyrthing is connected, especially if you spend a few minutes within the realm of the tuning sliders...
The only bummer is when you FAIL at the last turn, and you feel depressed and sad. Although apparently they have realized how traumatican experience this can be in forza 3 and gave you a lifeline :P
Bottom line: I should play this game more often, and so should you. *loads up forza*
This is a story of love, of woe and of win as four people attempt to win at halo on their xboxes over the internet.
It was a cold day in Avalanche heavy, and Me, pie, tylea002, Omegapirate and a ocuple of randoms who are nondescript enough never to really appear were about to face off in an epic battle, known as "capture the flag".
Mapped out for the noobz among you
It was 1-1, and there were about 10 minutes to go. I was cruising in a chopper, with pie following close behind in his less than nimble tank.
We were about to embark on an epic adventure to stela the enemy flag. Actually, it was rather half-arsed after several minutes of stalemate, but fate favours the bold...
Around the middle, i ran into an enemy tank. A shell missed me by a hairs breadth, and i quckly boosted closer, and started driving around him in circles, faster than his turret could turn. After a few seconds how him tryinig to nail me, pie appeared on the horizon in all his glory, and let rip. The enemy tank was too busy chasing me around, and exploded in a ball of triumphant flame and metal.
I bootsed along towards enemy "teleporter", but straight after i found myself blown away by a rocket. I smashed up against an icicle, and watched in dismay as my assailant jumped into the air and fired a second rocket. But he had rubbish aim, and it miraculously missed me ocmpletely. with my shields recharging, i got out and proceeded to blast him with my batte rifle. He frantically tried to reload, but in vain. A headshot, and i was all over. I picked up non other than a spartan laser from his remains.
While all this was happening, tylea002, Theomegapirate and the 2 randoms (Mister Neli and his guest) were making their way through keyhole (the quickest way to their base on foot), to attack the flank foe far greater than them in strength, epxerience, and above all, skillz. Wraith mortars crashed around them, as the PHUTPHUTPHUT of battle rifles, and the explosions of grenades reosunded acorss the plain. Mr neli and his guest abandoned hope, and fled back to our base to camp in safety.
Tylea002 and omega fought on grimly, holding the pass. Tragically, tylea was engulfed in an epxloding plasma grenade, and faced the agony of the respawn screen. But then, Me and pie kicked into action. I picked off an enemy rushing to defend their flank with mah spartan laser, and omegapirate advanced under a hail of wraith mortars. then pie saved his butt, and blew up the wraith at long last. But it was not yet over for poor omega.
2 enemies rushed out form the base. I couldn't get to them, pie couldn't get to them and the hapless omegapirate was headhostted repeatedly until his life ended. I went through the teleporter to their base, while pie advanced. Killing everything in his way.
When i entered the base, i was greeted warmly by the backs of a nub. I WAS A FIRIN MAH LASAR, and i took him by surprise, sending him deep into the realm of respawn land
Wraith Meanwhile tylea and omegapirate had bundled into a warthog, and were making their way towards us. Unfortunately all did not go as planned, and they were tripmined, stuck and fragged into oblivion. I on the other hand, had been making progress, and had grabbed the flag, jumping into the mancannon and bringing me under the shadow of pie, still in his tank.
Enemies had surrounded us, so i dropped the flag, and hug extra close to pie, who was busy eliminating targets round the flank. I threw a power drain, and in a shower of grenades, started firing desperately at the enemies that had now clustered round the flag. Suddenly, once again i was saved by pie, who took both of them out with a single shot.
Unfortunately, in his bid to secure the flag, he let one spartan get under his nose form behind, and hijack him. Improvising, knowing pie had only seconds to live, i charged mah lazor... It was close, but the pink beam scraped the bastard clean off pie's back, missing pie himself by mere milimeters. I grabbed the flag and jumped onto pie's tank. And we made our way home. It wasn't over yet though...
While me and pie were doing something worthwhile, omegapirate and tylea had decided to try their luck in a wraith, and were makinng their way towards here. Unfortunately for us, by time they had got there, i was dead. Enemies at their teleporter had been desperately trying to slow us down, and i was riddled with bullets. Not to matter though... While those 3 engaged in heavy fighting, i had respawned and was bringing a hornet for flag pickup. HAving caught up with them, i offered tylea002 a lift, and we made our glorious way home. Hornet
As a select few people in the irc probably know i can't play any games on my 360. I DONT have RROD though :O. Basically, one fateful day a week or so ago my controller broke. I kind of threw it against the wall.... snapping the right thumbstick off and messing up the inside thumbstick mechanism. For those of you curious, here's a pic of the guts of my controller:
NEEDLESS TO SAY, i was plagued with guilt for murdering the controller and verreh sad face :(
So anyway, i have abstained from halo for a WHOPPING 9 days which doesn't sound like much but man i'm so bored half the time and can only think about how much i want to play halo. I even watched myself, pie, tylea002 and the omegapirate pwn a couple of BTB games in theater mode, just to give my brain an echo of the feeling of playing halo. Yes i need help lol. Also being suspended from giantbomb for a week during that period didn't help much either. On the plus side, i watched some TV and got into The inbetweenres, which you brits should watch on E4 thursdays because it's absolutely fucking hilarious.
Yep, i am addicted to halo :S
man i really want to be shooting a Battle rifle right now...
::::::::::::::::ATTENTION ALL MODS TOO LAZY TO READ THE OP THIS IS NOT AN IRC ADVERTISING/RECRUITMENT THREAD IT IS JUST APERSONAL BLOG :::::::::::
NOW, we shall begin the blogging process:
Once upon a time, the irc was awesome. Every day was crazier than the last and promised quality enjoyment, even at inclement hours there was sitll plenty going on. But for some reason this golden era is no more, and instead, on a saturday evening, it is deserted and the ultimate discussion came from purerok begging everybody to say his name :|
Gone are the times where if you so much as glanced at something non-irc, you would lose track completely. Gone are the times where you could go to the toilet and return finding something completely different to be discussed. gone are the times where the bombshelter was necessary so that the awesomeness wouldn't overflow in the #giantbomb and spill out. Gone are the days where at least 2 people were asking for people to play games with them.
Now, it seems that the irc has deadened. It's not quite dead, but you could consider it ill. Some top scientists have attributed this to the lack of Sweep in the ircs diet (he is addicted to gears of war 2, you see) In fact:
So, i finally caved in to DLC. I am not sure why, probably because sandbox looked so damn awesome. Either way i went to game and bought 2100 microsoft points for the grand sum of £18. About $25 for you americans.
(i also bought lego star wars 2 for a fiver but that's another blog for another time... in other words when i have actually played it :D)
So here is £18 worth of 1s and 0s on my hard disk:
DOODLEMAN (community game)
Honestly, i feel cheated. Even for a miserable 200 MS points, this game is GARBAGE. It looked like it was going to be fun, but sadly it's one of the lamest things i have ever spent money on. you control a stick man on a piece of papaer that throws other doodles at you. You press X to twirl your arms, or "attack". And you jump about the bit of paper. Meanwhile some annoying voice makes the beats through your speakers and you just want to cringe. Sadface on this one indeed. Maybe if i played it more i'd get too more interesting baddies and levels such as the ones demonstrated on the "boxart", but unfortunately the game is ismply too boring. Shame as it looked promising for a community game, but i should have got the massage controller instead. Or maybe the clock game.
Conclusion: I wouldn't buy this game if i were you
1/10 - E for effort/
Next up...
Yep. The classic version of the ultimate turn based strategy game. A snip at 400 MS points, this game is REALLY worth it, unless you have worms world party 2 on DS or psp :P
You control a team of 4 handpicked worms with the sole objective of fighting to the death... and winning. Your main arsenal consists primarily of bazookas and grenades, although there are some extremes like sheep bombs, banana bombs and airstrikes. And you will take turns with your opponent to blast each other into oblivion. Be it AI, friends, faimly or whoever. The main skill is being able to calculate the power and angle of your shot, or to make a really daring move (like dropping Dynamite from a jetpack). Really it's like chess, only better :P
This game is much more enjoyable with friends (like most). But as soon as it was established that i was unbeatable, we quickly moved on to someting else... because i was unbeatable at my own game.
So, the verdict is this is WELL WORTH IT, just make sure oyu have friends who don't suck at worms first
Final score: 9/10 - A for awesome
HALO 3 LEGENDARY MAP PACK
This have been out for aorund a year. You might be shocked to know that me, the ultimate halo guy on this forum, DID NOT BUY THEM! Nope, i still kind of loathed the idea of DLC in general, and some dudes on the forum told me balckout sucked anyway. Anyway, for a grand 600 MS points:
AVALANCHE
Avalanche, "inspired by" the halo 1 sidewinder, was supposed to be the ultimate in big team battle vehicle battle capture the flag awesomeness. I have to say, it did not disappoint. the simple epicness as you score a masterful flag cap, the thrill of pwning all the enemy defenses in a tank, the huge battle in the center cave, the excitement of warthog duels in the snow. It really captured the essence of what big team was all about and turned it into map form
BAM! right in the kisserEven after merely a couple of weeks, i have really fond memories of this map, especially playing with friends (lies and RH from giantbomb!! :D)
Picture the scene - it is 2 flag heavy on avalanche and the score is 2-2. There are 3 minutes remaining. I am cruising toward the enemy base in a hornet (human flying vehicle for halo nubs), eyes peeled for the pink glow of a spartan laser. Then i saw it - an enemy laser across at their teleporter. Luckily he hadn't seen me, so i got within firing range, and then let her rip.
Unfortunately, the hornet's weedy machine guns were not enough. He saw mestraight after the first shot, and started chargin' his laser. knowing that my cannons are not going to make the kill in time, and that praying he miss is not enough, i speed toward him, aiming for the splatter. Charging, he jumps in the air in some weird atte,mpt to avoid me, but sadly, the only remnants of him are the CRUNCH of spartan on metal. His laser miliseconds away from firing.
I then head toward the enemy base and mop up a couple of infantry on the way, but **SHOCK** ENEMY HORNET APPEARED! I finish off my current target then proceed to attack the bastard who got the drop on me desperately. Knowing that i can't win, i look in vain for a way to escape. When all of the sudden their tank respawned right under me. Without thinking twice, i bailed and dropped into the tank. But my health is still very low, and the hornet's assault, combined with an infantryguy spamming grenades at my front. Then, thinking that this time this was SURELY the end, i hear the ROAAAR of a spartan laser, and the hornet in front of me blows to pieces, and falls on top of one of the dude on foot. Not believing my own eyes, my friend goes up the mancannon to grab the enemy flag. He then rests on my stolen tank and we roll away home, unpposed. Final scorew, 3-2.
Now if that isn't what gaming is all about, well then STONE THE CROWS
So really, avalanche gets an OVER 9000 out of 10 from me. Too bad that blackout and ghost town are immensely uninteresting and "default" somehow
all that remains is the mythic map pack, but i figure that if i start writing about that, this blog will be too long to read. Anyway i guess that the conclusion is that markeplace is win, so long as you like spending money.
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