I knew going into this that choosing only four titles from all the games in my lifetime that best ‘defined’ me was going to be hellish. In some way, shape or form, each game I’ve played has left some sort of mark on me for better or worse. This is why I tend to avoid these Twitter hashtags that require personal picks; I get so conflicted and meander between choices that I end up giving myself an existential crisis on a regular basis. In no particular order (since I’ve thought about this long enough) here are my four:

1. Mother 3

JRPGs are known for having a lot of story to tell across its span along while hitting multiple emotional peaks along the way. Mother 3 is no exception, however it’s one of the only JRPGs that I’ve actually sat down to play that has gotten me in the heart more times than I’d care to admit. Death, separation and corruption has no right to be in such a bright, colorful game (on the Game Boy Advance no less), and while these themes feel like a brick in the face when they come, the investment I found my emotions making was worth it in spades. Earthbound went from a goofy adventure to deathly serious in its final fight; Mother 3 does so more frequently but with wonderful efficiency to avoid keeping your heart crushed for too long. I make no exaggeration when I say the game brought me to tears multiple times, nevermind my open weeping at the finale that left me exhausted come roll of the credits. Perhaps it’s the themes of trying to retain one's family, world and brotherhood that got to me on a deeply personal level ‘thanks’ to my past experiences, but Mother 3 is now my gold standard when it comes to JRPGs combining both good story and good gameplay.

2. Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon

I know there aren’t many takeaways one can have from a Nintendo 64 title, but it was the influence that Mystical Ninja had on me as a young player that put it on this list. I can’t remember if I had played the granddaddies of 3D adventure (Ocarina of Time, Super Mario 64, etc) before or after, but Mystical Ninja was enlightening in terms of games that can be not only grand adventures, but be ones that’re whimsical, comedic and, though loosely based on Japanese folklore, bonkers. When I gush about games that deliver such adventures (Okami, Final Fantasy 15), Mystical Ninja planted that seed in my young mind that had me excited to travel around in-game worlds to see, find and uncover whatever I could - All with giddy delight. The fact you get to summon a giant robot complete with its own radical as hell theme song helped as well.

3. Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate

I know my opinions and views on my games are cynical, snarky and incredibly critical, but if MH3U didn’t exist I’d pretty much be a clone of certain gaming personalities with much larger soapboxes than me (read: everything sucks and nothing is great). After hearing people hyping up Monster Hunter for a time, I bucked up, bought into it and initially despised damn near everything about it. Why are attack animations so slow? Why does my character have to pose like a dingus when healing? Why are armor pieces so trivial in their contribution to my stats? Eventually I gave up, writing it all off as crappy Japanese game design - Until a late night did I find myself reading up on Monster Hunter on a sleep-deprived whim that I was educated. Turns out that Monster Hunter has these design aspects for proper reasons: Weaponry dictates your playstyle. Animations have lengths so your healing/sharpening can be punished by counterattacks if you’re careless. Armor shouldn’t be worn as random pieces but as full sets for bonuses. I had gone from a hater of the series to becoming a great enjoyer of it, so far in that I’m hungrily awaiting the PC release of Monster Hunter World. This change of view has bled over to my analysis for other games where if a mechanic or component confounds me, I stop to ask myself its purpose and why it exists from the stance of the developer. The experience also taught me other ways of analyzing games that if listed could be a small book in its own right, but MH3U is credited with improving my techniques as a critic and reviewer.

4. Lisa

If you know me, you saw this coming from a mile away. What looked to be an indie game about violent comedy led to something that resonated with me on such a deep, personal level that it’d take one hell of a knock to my head to make me forget about it. While Mother 3 brought me to tears due to the desire for reclaiming one's world, Lisa shook my entire existence with what happened in my upbringing to who I am today - Or what I might become. Themes of abuse, victimization and thinking you’re doing the right thing shows up throughout the plot in between bouts of ludicrous comedy, and while the gameplay itself is that of an ok RPG at best, the story is so potent and well paced that it hardly hampers the campaign. For a little indie game to Trojan horse its way into my emotions and psyche is one hell of a feat, and I’ve come to learn not to write off a game due to its size or budget.