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Dear Cheater

I just finished playing a few rounds of Modern Warfare 2 with you.

I have to say it is a delight to play with fellows like you. Now most of you are pretty easy to discover. You have a level 70 prestige 10 account preferably with a rotating skull as emblem. Not all level 70 prestige 10 are cheaters, but... well, a lot of you guys are.

Of course you are on a noble quest! You don't cheat for fun or to show of your impressive skills. No you want to show everybody that steam sucks and that you can cheat VAC. Show Valve that you can hack the local hosted servers by using cheat maps that will instant level you, show all the other players that VAC sucks because you can give headshots all you want.

It is a true delight to watch you in the Killcam how you aim after me, wall after wall until you finally can draw a save shot when I show my head around the corner. Of course those are the noobs of cheating. The Pr0s will not look at you directly but just notice where you are and then wait till you are almost around the corner and then start to shoot.

Yes yes... aimbots are for loosers. Because true Pr0-haxx0rs only use a wallhack. That is enough and it still takes some skill to take the enemy team down. Or does it.

It is very obvious why you cheat. Yes I understand you! Everybody else on the server is just so gooood that you don't stand a chance without cheats. Well that is due to two reasons, some of the others cheat as well and you suck. Yes you suck. But of course you suck. Because you do not play the game how it is meant to be played. Yes I know you don't want to play the game how it was meant to be played because VAC sucks and Steam sucks and IWnet sucks...

But when you look at it the right way, actually it is just you who sucks. And you can't take it that you are not good at the game of the century. So you ruin the fun for everybody because your fun was ruined.

Well, good job mate.

Me and my friends still own your pants off and teabag you in your sleep. So I hope you get banned while I enjoy the game.

But since Valve and VAC really suck you probably will not get banned and continue shooting through walls.

And here is a lineup of good excuses if someone catches you cheating:

* look at my stats dude 16 - 8 !!! (true cheaters of course never die... yes. never die! *cough*)
* look at my rank (of course a level 16 prestige 3 rank must say that you do not cheat.)
* no (that is obvious)
* no its skill (? I know skill when I see it and I know how cheats look like. check youtube)
* 1on1 (what does that even mean? Since you cheat in 6on6 you wanna show me how you cheat in 1on1?)
* lol (same as "no". Only cheaters give those answers)
* you're a noob (can't argue with that... but I still play better than a cheater)

See you soon my friend.
1 in 30 is at least a cheater in Modern Warfare 2


First look at Starcraft 2

I have to admit that I have not been following the Starcraft 2 development. I am not a huge fan of games like this any more. But I always enjoyed the singleplayer mode in Warcraft, Starcraft and Command and Conquer games.

 The installation of Starcraft is starting heads up with a little storytelling of what happened in the story so far. But when the games high-rendered and excellent cinematics start I begin to sigh. What is it with games these days that every cinematic has to be full of pathetic talk and steroidabusing characters that are supposed to be cool. Oh let's just throw a mustache in there and maybe some alcohol... Okay, Starcraft 2's level of pathetic does not even come close to the bullshit you hear in Modern Warfare too and it sure lacks Captain Prices mustache.

So I start the first campaign, a bit walking around. shooting one or two soldiers on the way - boom I'm done. What?

This took me 15 minutes? One campaign that included shooting ten soldiers and destroying five lousy buildings? And the story was not that big a deal. Okay the second campaign will sure be better.

I defend a base that is supposed to be soon overrun by the Zerg. Since nothing lifethreatening happens I decide to take my spare troups and take out the Zerg basis. The counter reaches zero and my patients is way below that. No hordes of Zerg attacking. Just tiny troops that don't even hurt my buildings. The cutscene revels a picture of horror. Out of a sudden in the cutscene my whole base is overrun. Luck for me - some gay dude with his spaceship rescues me from this hell of boredom.

The menus are probably supposed to be all new and flashy since you are in a ship or a bar and can click stuff. Oh you can watch news that... Never mind. They are a lame version of satire on the story. It seems that you can buy upgrades for units inbetween missions. And you can also gather intel on Zerg and Protos in missions. I suspect that you need these to unlock stuff later. Oh come on!!! Please, one game that just gives you a nice story, without steroid and drug abuse for the coolness factor! Please one game without the need to unlock every tiny unit.

I don't know if I want to touch this game again.

I don't know why. Please don't flame me because I don't go all crazy on a blizzard game... but compared to the time Blizzard spent on this game it seems to be rather mediocre. Some things look so polished you feel the need to vomit on them to get some grease back into the spaceaction.
The multiplayer in the Beta was quite fun. But then again it played a lot like what I remember from Starcraft 1.

Oh and you have to open the wallet big time for this one. It's an Activision price.

My advise for Blizzard:

Develop faster and take more risks. Otherwise all your games will be so polished and overdeveloped and nobrained like this one.


DLCs for the people (that have too much money on their hands)

I am just downloading a 320 Mb Update to Duells of the Planeswalkers - Magic the Gathering on PC. It actually gives me nothing and it is only for those people that want to buy the DLCs.

So what are the DLCs?
Well, you unlock Cards in this game for every round won with a certain card deck. If you are extremely lazy you now can unlock a whole deck for 1 €. Great thing. It takes about 2 hours to unlock the cards and you learn the game by playing it. If you glitch it it takes about 20 minutes for a deck.
But there is another type of DLC. Premium foil cards. Yes they are shiny and they look nice. But then again it is just a skin and it changes NOTHING in the game. In total you could spent a whole 22€ on the DLCs that you do not need because they do not change anything in the game.

There were somewhat similar DLCs for Killing Floor - but then again they were totally different. In Killing Floor you can buy character skins for about 2 € a pack. Now that does not change anything in gameplay as well BUT - and here comes a huge BUT: What you pay for the DLC is put into the development of a free Update that all players will get. So with buying the DLC you make sure the developers keep on developing maps for this game and fix bugs and glitches because you give them the ressources.
To be honest that was the smartest DLC model I have ever seen! Compared to paying 15 € for old Modern Warfare Maps or DLCs that change nothing in the game...

We are gaming in times where developers rather make money from a DLC than boost their names and products with free updates. Cheers!


The moments of truth

You know this. You wake up on a sunny saturday, close the curtains, dim the light. You make sure you have a sufficient supply of drinks and a coffeemachine hooked up for the later hours. Also you will need a pizza delivery at some point so check your mailbox for delivery ads.

You sit down and turn on the machine. You check the description of this devilish task and start the game. You play. You will get frustrated at certain points. Cursewords fill the adventure and action dense air. The retry button becomes your closest friend. After hours of selfindulged torture you wait for it. The moment of truth, the one thing you went for: The "pling" and the following achievement logo -

nothing happens. No this can't be right. You wait. Nothing

Load a savegame from 2 minutes earlier, replay the last minute and - what the cocks**** a$%##* s&!§# (your cursing level increased over the last hours) Nothing.

Quest failed - Achievement bugged.

It happened to all of us.

I recently had it on the Iron Man Achievement for Torchlight, and the one veteran Achievement for MW2 - the one with the submarine level. God that was the single most hated level for me. I got all the other achievements for veteran. The game just wanted me to see suffer again for this one. Not today my friend, not today.