As I told you yesterday, I have a lot of spare time at work. I recently picked up Angry Birds for Windows Phone 8 (for free, via Bing Rewards), which I've been playing on my Nokia Lumia 920. I've played the game quite a bit in the past, on Windows Phone 7 and on Facebook, and consider myself an Angry Birds veteran (a slightly embarrassing title). However, I mean this to be my definitive playthrough. There are achievements for getting three stars in every level for each episode. I'm going to get three stars in every level of the entire game, have the achievements to prove it, and be done with it forever (then to move on to Rio, Seasons, and so on).

With the possible exception of Farmville and all its clones, Angry Birds is about as casual a game as you can get. It's the first thing that comes to my mind when talking about casual games. Let me share an exchange I had recently. We were talking about Kinect, and why Microsoft includes it with Xbox One:

-

I wrote:

I could give a rat's ass about Kinect games, so I'm a little out of my element here. I would suggest that Microsoft is trying to appeal to casual gamers, as that demographic is presently making a great deal of money for companies catering to them. By integrating Kinect, they are insuring developers will make games for it. I haven't researched this really at all, as I don't particularly care, but there's my two cents.

Vidpci wrote:

The causal demographic is presently making a great deal of money for companies catering to it... like who? Blizzard? Nintendo? It's a false demographic that does nothing but piss off the people that were already customers.

I wrote:

Blizzard makes casual games? According to whom? I was thinking of Rovio.

-

Yeah, Blizzard makes casual games. Do gamers think at all before they start typing? (Vidpci up there never answered me.)

Anyway, I think Rovio (Angry Birds developer) makes casual games. But what is a casual game? Lets discuss. For a horde of loudmouthed gamers, a casual game is "Any genre, system, or type of game I don't particularly enjoy." However, I think we can come up with a better definition, by identifying the characteristics of a casual game. Here's my list:

• Has simple, obvious gameplay, such that a non-gamer can quickly begin playing.
• Has short sessions. A game that requires significant blocks of time between checkpoints is not casual.
• Is generally non-violent or contains cartooney violence. Casual games should appeal to a wide audience.
• Is a fairly light program. A game that requires a high-end PC is not casual.

Now that I'm looking at my list, I think I've got my definition: A casual game is one designed to appeal to a wide audience, including non-gamers. Angry Birds fits this bill very well. However, does a casual game always produce a casual experience? I'll give you my thoughts on that tomorrow.

I don't do this very often, but I'm going to give you a little update about what I'm doing in life, as it will preview several future installments. In my current contract, I am basically a QRF, or Quick Reaction Force. My sole job is to be on hand, armed, ready to respond to a critical situation. Other than that, I have no responsibilities at work other than some administrative business, which takes ten minutes per day, max. Clearly, Palantas has a lot of free time. You might have noticed more publications lately; this is not a coincidence.

I am typing these blogs at work. I mentioned recently that I bought a Windows 8 tablet. Its an ASUS VivoTab Smart, and I plan to write up a review of it and Windows 8 here. That may be one issue or two.

I've done an enormous amount of reading on this job, Plato, Isaac Asimov, and a fantasy novel called The Curse of Chalion. I highly recommend any of these, and I shall discuss each of these in a future issue. I talk about other nerdy subjects besides videogames here, and science fiction, fantasy, and philosophy qualify.

Finally, I've been playing mobile games here at work. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk about Angry Birds and hardcore versus casual games. (I know I have used the term tomorrow quite liberally, but I'm for real this time; tomorrows blog is already written.) I'm also going to cover Windows Phone 8 and my specific phone, the Nokia Lumia 920, either in a single or combined issue.

See you.

I don't do this very often, but I'm going to give you a little update about what I'm doing in life, as it will preview several future installments. In my current contract, I am basically a QRF, or Quick Reaction Force. My sole job is to be on hand, armed, ready to respond to a critical situation. Other than that, I have no responsibilities at work other than some administrative business, which takes ten minutes per day, max. Clearly, Palantas has a lot of free time. You might have noticed more publications lately; this is not a coincidence.

I am typing these blogs at work. I mentioned recently that I bought a Windows 8 tablet. Its an ASUS VivoTab Smart, and I plan to write up a review of it and Windows 8 here. That may be one issue or two.

I've done an enormous amount of reading on this job, Plato, Isaac Asimov, and a fantasy novel called The Curse of Chalion. I highly recommend any of these, and I shall discuss each of these in a future issue. I talk about other nerdy subjects besides videogames here, and science fiction, fantasy, and philosophy qualify.

Finally, I've been playing mobile games here at work. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk about Angry Birds and hardcore versus casual games. (I know I have used the term tomorrow quite liberally, but I'm for real this time; tomorrows blog is already written.) I'm also going to cover Windows Phone 8 and my specific phone, the Nokia Lumia 920, either in a single or combined issue.

See you.

This is both hysterical and thought provoking:

Something Awful: If Films Were Reviewed Like Video Games

As you may or may not be aware, I am a bit of a film snob. I'm not so much of a snob that I only watch art films; I dont particularly care for David Lynch. On the other hand, I think Hollywood puts out a lot of excrement that only drooling idiots could enjoy; I despise Adam Sandler.

Point is, I like talking about movies, reading movie reviews, and writing my own, just like with games. It never occurred to me until I read that Something Awful article just how different typical movie reviews are from game reviews. When analyzing a film, I barely mention the technical aspects. I concern myself with the story, characters, and the emotional influence of the work. When reviewing a game, I mostly talk about the gameplay, but I spend a great deal of time discussing technical aspects, and I think most reviewers do so more than myself.

Why is that? Why are stupid characters, plot holes, and generally shitty writing glossed over? I shall keep this in mind when penning my next review.

My online writing recently has gone into the Zimmerman trial, or else I'd have told you about this a couple days ago:

http://www.change.org/petitions/xbox-one-give-us-back-the-original-xbox-one

That's a petition asking Microsoft to produce the console they showed at E3, with the virtual ownership scheme. Interesting. At this point, Iv'e nearly become a gaming hipster, attracted to any idea opposed to the mainstream, mostly because gamers are such a bunch of f*cking lemmings.

But not quite. I want to be able to A.) Get games on a subscription scheme (think GameFly, but all online), and B.) Share games with my girlfriend. On the other hand, I dont want to be online to play a game that I own permanently, be they digital or on a disc. So I dont want the E3 console.

A recent interview with IGN has got me feeling better about this stuff. The family sharing can come back. Digital distribution programs can still be implemented. A Microsoft exec describes using a disc-based ownership scheme as adding a feature, not removing one. "What we did, we added to what the console can do by providing physical and offline modes in the console. It isnt about moving away from what that digital vision is for the platform. Its about adding that choice."

All this has me feeling good for 2015, or whenever I finally buy the console.

I recently bought a Windows 8 tablet, which I may review here. At the very least, I'll review SmartGlass. Running Skype for the first time, I got the following dialogue:

ZOMG!

Microsoft is trying to spy on me!!! Ahhh!!!

When I first saw that box up there on Skype, I had a thought to write a whole sarcastic blog about the perils of tablets and everything else. I don't think I could keep a straight face doing that, though, so I'll be sincere instead.

Seriously people, we've been activating microphones and cameras and carrying them around with us for years. Normal people do not worry about this stuff. Neither should you. If you want to write your legislator about Prism, fine, but don't make decisions about your home electronics based on a lot of paranoia on the Internet.

On an unrelated note...

...happy Independence Day.

It's a sure thing that if I'm traveling on a spaceship, and the artificial gravity fails, I'm on the crapper at the time.

I'm seriously thinking about doing a Wall of Shame for some of the Xbox One Kinect conversations I've had lately. Ugh.

However, while I'm making up my mind, I want to talk about PlayStation Plus. I don't really care about PlayStation, but hopefully this will help demonstrate that I'm not just an Xbox fanboy, in the wake of all this Kinect business.

As usual, gamers are throwing a giant fit over any change to the status quo. Come on, PlayStation Plus is $50 a year. I just don't see as being a problem for most gamers, given the cost of everything else involved, particularly since the typical gamer seems desperate to give the industry money. It's not a big deal.

To quote Master Chief, "We'll be fine."

The complaints about Kinect are dumb as shit. I frequently use that phrase to describe the intelligence of the gaming public, so I guess I should expect stuff like this by now. The complaint goes like this:

"Kinect allows Microsoft/the government to spy on you."

::sigh::

Kinect has a camera and a microphone. Do you know what else has cameras and microphones? Computers, tablets, and phones. (And before someone starts nitpicking, I am aware that not every computer sold necessarily includes a webcam, however some do, and that's enough.) These devices have had cameras and microphones for years. Normal people--I'm not talking conspiracy theorists here--use laptops and smartphones all the time. No one gives the recording equipment in these devices a second thought.

So why is this suddenly a problem with Kinect? Most any laptop bought in the last decade has a webcam. If you are complaining about the webcam in Kinect, why have you not also been complaining about laptops for years? Why have you not been rushing to forums and blogs, warning customers against buying, say, a Sony Vaio laptop, due to the potential for someone to spy on you? Smartphones have had cameras for at least half a decade (iPhone 1). if you are complaining about Kinect, why are you not also campaigning against smartphones? If you actually are someone who is afraid of the government/hackers spying on you, and you live "off the grid," and own no laptops, smartphones, or tablets, then I entirely respect your decision to avoid Xbox One. If you are a normal person, who is ranting against Xbox One on a webcam/microphone-equipped laptop, while stopping to text your friends on a webcam/microphone-equipped phone, then you either: A.) Are not thinking straight, or B.) Are a hypocrite.

The rebuttals I've heard against the above argument range from silly to embarrassing.

"You can't turn the Kinect off. You can turn off your laptop." I can disable the driver to my webcam on my laptop, but a hacker can reactivate it. I have essentially no control over how my phone works.

"Kinect is running all the time, even if you're playing a game that doesn't use it." Then put a book in front of the damn camera! A child would figure this out.

"Kinect is spying on you when you play a Kinect game." This is no different that when you're using any other webcam.

"Your smartphone isn't listening to you all the time; Kinect is." How do you know? How do you know your smartphone isn't listening to you all the time? Oh, because Apple, Samsung, or HTC say they aren't. So you'll believe them, but not Microsoft. Why?

"I should have total control over my gaming system!" Then buy a computer and put Linux on it. Otherwise, shut up. Gamers have never had control over consoles.

Come to think of it, why weren't people throwing a fit about privacy when Kinect came out for 360?

When you read something on the Internet, think about it before you go reposting it. Gamers are like a bunch of lemmings when it comes to this Kinect on Xbox One business. I can't tell you how many times I've read the identical complaints and arguments. It's like independent, critical thought is a vice. Use your brain. The console you buy should be determined by A.) What games you like, and B.) Your budget. It should not be determined by what a horde of idiots on the Internet tell you.

Yesterday, I saw on my Facebook that Microsoft did away with the DRM in Xbox One, and that discs would work the way they always had. My first thought: "Did the dumb-as-shit gamers ruin this for me with their complaining?" I don't want to have to buy and keep track of a bunch of goddamn game discs. I don't have to buy discs to get games on my phone or computer. I no longer buy any of the following: Books, maps, newspapers, camera film, day planners, music CDs, magazines, or VHS tapes. These items have been replaced by digital counterparts: Smartphone, Kindle, laptop. I don't write letters for routine correspondence, tune into the evening news to see the weather forecast, or dial a memorized series of numbers to call someone on the phone. It's the fucking digital age, and I want my console gaming experience to catch up with everything else.

Fortunately, it appears that the dumbshits did not ruin this for me. I read the actual press release from Microsoft, and saw this: "In addition to buying a disc from a retailer, you can also download games from Xbox Live on day of release." I think all the complaining did ruin virtual sharing, but thank the Seven it didn't ruin everything. There's still hope for a subscription-based payment scheme for games.

One item Microsoft's statement did not address is the "Big Brother" issues relating to Kinect. I'll address those tomorrow, and why the gamers voicing those concerns are suffering from oxygen deprivation.