You read that right, ladies and gentlemen. Final Fantasy XIII will be blatantly better on the PS3 than it will be on the 360. Sorry to crush your dreams fanboys and girls, but it had to be said. I compiled a highly scientific and highly significant list of reasons why you should believe what I am writing. 

1. PS3 has teh blu-rays. - The PS3 release will have one disc. One beautiful, glorious disc just bursting at the seams with uncompressed goodness. The 360 will have three discs. Three discs jam packed with compressed garbage. Jesus, how am I supposed to keep track of all them dvds? What is this, the 2000's?? It was hard enough to keep track of my Final Fantasy VIII's four cds for christ's sake.  

2. 720p vs. 576p - I don't even know what that means, but there is one thing I do know and that is bigger numbers = better. Period. 

3. No Japanese Voice Acting on the 360 version - Are you f*cking kidding me!? If I owned a 360 and heard this news, I would have chucked it out of the nearest window post-haste. I know I am not fluent in Japanese. But goddammit, don't tell me what I can't do!! Besides, I love me some moonspeak. 

4. The 360 can red-ring, the PS3 can't - Does this even need explanation? The PS3 doesn't even have any rings at all. It is virtually indestructible. I would know because I use mine as a cornerstone for my house's foundation. That's rock-f*cking solid right there. How would you like to be 30 hours into the game and suddenly your 360 red-rings for the 10th time? I bet you wouldn't like that very much, would you? 

5. The 360's US cover art is basically porn. - Dear sweet baby jesus. I wouldn't show the 360's US cover art to my grandmother with all the leg that's exposed. At least with the PS3's cover art, there's a little more tact with using the teen rating box to cover the bare thigh. 

Well there you have it. Undeniable proof that Final Fantasy XIII will be blatantly better on the PS3 and how it will be barely even playable on the 360, probably. But hey, worst case scenario, you can always go over to your rich friend Joey's house and watch him play it on his ungodly, immensely expensive PS3 and silently think to yourself, "man, I could club him over the head right now and take his stupid PS3 and play this game the way it's supposed to be played. Then I can blame it all on Square-Enix!".  

6. The 360 version will cause you to murder your friend Joey for his PS3 so that you could play it the way it's [i]supposed[/i] to be played. - Enough said.