Ladies and Gentlemens, we have the last hours of 2011 and as the richest man in these United States, I have decided to award some of my favoritest and bestest games of the year. Did I play some of these? Hell no, but that is not the point, it is to heap praise on what they did to my mind, played or not. So sit down and read this shit and see if you get a gaming boner for these babies.

Biggest Piece of Shit: Duke Nukem Forever

A waste of time and money, because anyone who bought this game wasted their money and then wasted time looking at the long loading screens. And after that, you could see Duke holding a piece of shit. And then women getting raped by aliens. Or turning into aliens with boobs. Other nominees included Blackwater and Red Faction Armageddon. They sucked for different reasons, but Duke, much like Matt Kessler, just makes you embarrassed to be a gamer.

This Game Ain't That Good Award: Dark Souls

Fuck this game.

2011's 2012 Game of the Year: Mass Effect 3

Let's face it kiddos, I don't see much greatness from 2012 just yet. But like in 2010, another Mass Effect is coming out in the early part of the year. And this one looks to turn back a little from the action oriented nature of Mass Effect to and give back a little more RPG goodness. Enough to make Mass Effect 3, the game 2007's Mass Effect should have been.

2011's Most Anticipated Game: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim II

Yes folks this will happen and it edged out GTA V because of how good Skyrim is this year. If the sub-titled sequels such as Modern Warfare, the soon to be announced Black Ops sequel and the piece of shit Final Fantasy games are not enough, this amazing title will get a sequel and I cannot wait for it. Maybe it will have the gangs that the guys suggested and then it might get it's name changed to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim the Second.

Giant Bomb's Worst Staff Member of 2011: Alex Navarro

This is always a contentious award. But thanks to newcomers this year, we get to see this is the first year Ryan doesn't run away with it because he is awesome at being an asshole. No, we actually have real contenders who suck. Others who were considered were Patrick and Matt Kessler. Patrick divided the community with his interview of Mr. North and how he hates certain things about games like Uncharted 3. Kessler is just a born annoyance who charms the pants off some and proceeds to have his way with said person after pants are off. But these guys love the community and do what it takes to put up great news content or just fucking badass videos of what goes on in the offices. No. The winner this year takes his time to chime in even though he lives in NY and turns off half the community and then proceeds to tell the community he doesn't give a shit about what they think. I only learned my business lessons on the street, but even when I am slinging rocks, I try to make sure my guy likes what he gets, so he can buy some more. If I told him to fuck off, I am sure I would have a bullet in my ass.

Giant Bomb's Best Staff Member of 2011: Alex Navarro

This guy may talk shit on the community and have the worst voice for radio, or podcasting, but this motherfucker is hard. He takes the hits many of the other crew won't and gives us hilarious moments for it. Blackwater and Twilight, this guy does it all in the name of keeping us informed and letting us know there are pieces of shit that lurk in this world that we have no business knowing about. Why does he do it? Those are hours and hours wasted on games GB had no desire to review or report on. He could have spent that time playing Skyrim or Saint's Row. Instead he took a bullet to the face and a dildo to the ass to let us know, we should be grateful that we don't have to play that shit.

Best Game of 2011: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Yup, this is the shit. Go make some armor, kill ghosts and try to figure what the fuck happened over the last 4,000 years in this world. Dwarves, Nords, Dragons. This place was controlled by a lot of people. Oh and today has its set of issues too. Fuck up some dragons and kill some giants. Murder a whole town and kill the rebels because they want to whine about not being able to worship their version of Jesus. Well fuck that, I will cut your heads off because you are a bunch of bitches who are fucking it up for everyone by being racist and not wanting to help out the crisis with the fuckin dragons. Did I mention that you could totally steal shit and look like Batman in this game? I played MW3 for 10 hours. Battlefield 3 for 8. Uncharted 3 for 10 hours as well. This? 60 hours. 1 dollar per hour of enjoyment is only something you can get in Thailand today. Which reminds me, I am gonna go and try to get married.