Ryan Davis, along with Jeff, Vinny, Brad, and eventually Patrick, are the folks who gave me comfort in my passion. Video games have always been a large part of my life, but with no one to talk to about it, no community to add a voice to, it was only in the last four or five years that it became a passion. With a fresh General Education Diploma, having dropped out of high school, uncertain what I wanted to do with my life, and with no way of paying for college without a huge student loan debt anyway, I was introduced to the Bombcast crew, and eventually GiantBomb.com. The guys who gave me an example to grow from and a reason to write. And one of them has died.

The 8th was a long day for me and I did not check the internet once. I spent my day at work in meetings then came home to play some games and unwind. Little did I know the whirlwind of emotion that was happening online at that time and would be awaiting me the following morning. On the 9th, I did my morning Tumblr peek and came across a big, pink graphic that said, “THANKS RYAN DAVIS” and under that, “Gone way too soon.” My stomach dropped and I immediately went to Giant Bomb to see what was what. I found this article and could not believe what I was reading. What the fuck had I missed all day Monday? What the shit happened? 34? How? Why? I never once interacted with Ryan Davis and his death devastated me. Once I made it to work I couldn’t concentrate. I kept returning to a 24-hour long Twitter feed of eulogies, articles, pictures, and tweets. All about a man I had never met, but whose impact on me is undeniable. I’ve had to write this in fits and starts; writing in between wiping my eyes and clearing the lump in my throat.

My aspirations for a writing career obviously did not come to fruition, but the inspiration was there and is still felt. I still love video games; I still enjoy writing about video games. I write when I can and when I have the energy to do it. Ryan Davis is one of the greatest influences on me and my passion. I will miss him greatly but his effect will always be here. Writing is still my best tool and I’m using it to bleed some of my own sorrow away.

I offer my deepest condolences to Jeff, Vinny, Brad, Patrick, Drew, Matt, Dave, and everyone else whose pain I can’t even imagine.