I married my pack-mule.

After trying out many pack-mules. Janessa fit my bow and arrow style. Also I must say those dark-elves make fantastic mule. Tall and strong, just like women shall be. Also grey-skinned so they camouflage naturally in Skyrims Mountains and wood. She can carry a lot. When I am in a foul mood and looking for amusement, I throw dragon bones on the ground. Then I force the gal to pick it up. She once carried 20 dragon bones, I cant see how she can handle the bow so nimble with dragon bones sticking out all over her back.

I must say, even I am being a wood-elf with proud short stature. Those long women are useful. But she have probaly bumped her head once two many times. Because she thinks she is a warrior. Even after nagging on her all day long, she want to play around with a big glass war-axe. Maybe it is some complex that Orcs can carry bigger load than girly dark-elves.

But one thing that made curious about marriage. Women cook when they are married to you. Janessa thinks a cooked meal is a raw Skeever tail. I must object, being a proud Bosmer. We want food that dont take half hour to chew down per bit. Also I heard they opened up a small business and give you 100 gold per day. Which is nice. Sure I enjoy my esteemed status at the Thieves Guild and The Dark Brotherhood. But free gold and a meal, is sure a good deal.

Also I told here that we will get a dog to carry our dragon bones. They are after all very valuable after all. I heard dogs like bones also. So she was happy. We got married. But I shot the dog with my bow. He barked and we couldn’t go hunting for game or herbs to our poisons. But she carry all my bones, a home-cooked meal and 100 gold per day.

Only one thing that creeps me out. She says, “I am your shadow on your back”. I have no idea. Probably she is plotting to sneak the bones in my backpack. Otherwise I made good deal.

8 Comments