Those are some fine folks at Bioware (aka fanboys are d*cks)

Photo taken in the Bioware offices
Photo taken in the Bioware offices

The Mass Effect 3 shitstorm never really stopped since the first showing of the game. Yes, people spent at least 60 hours in the last two installments so expectations are high. The chance of disappointment is high. Being an observer in the argument, I can no longer stand the stupid fanboys at this point. It's okay to be angry over something you are passionate about, but this is getting a little bit too far. Not many developers ever spent additional resources and more months of hardwork from vacation just to please the the consumer. Don't even mention the sad, sad pandas who put their hearts into the game and only got whippped in the butt by assholes.

Just to throw it out there first: I have not played Mass Effect 3 yet. University exams are coming up and I do not wish to rush through yet another great sci-fi experience. But I can tell you I have faith in Bioware's ability to do shit. Before the Dragon Age fanboys set in I'm just gonna say, I've seen worse endgames/endings. And I don't think anything about Mass Effect 3 can change my opinion. It's not like there could be a different way to write the final chapter in a story. So let me share with you some bad experiences I've had with disappointing endings (BIG FAT SPOILERS PEOPLE):

Sorry, wrong game.
Sorry, wrong game.

Fable III

Never really liked the franchise so even I was surprised I got to the end of the third installment at all. In the end you are introduced to a threat even greater than your main character's jerk-ish evil. Like, consume the universe type of evil. You are given days to prepare to save the world, as the evil army slowly marches towards your capital city. Spending the last half-year at the frontier of the nation you would expect an epic battle (and an epic defeat) at the gates to fend the bad guys off, and pull back every step as the war effort goes sour. NOoooooooo. Instead you jump to the FINAL BATTLE at the capital city being all invaded right after a peaceful mission of rebuilding orphanages and shit just one mission before. Not to mention just how un-epic and short the final stand really is. You're not witnessing a full-scale invasion with people dying by the thousands. All you see are buildings on fire. With all the tension building up to that final battle, a level like that is FUCKING DISAPPOINTING. Did I mention the ending? It's not really a spoiler, people gather around you and hail the great king of Albion. What else are you seriously expecting.

I would have put a
I would have put a "good guy riding off into the sunset" pic but I honestly felt this is more interesting.

Alpha Protocol

It really isn't as bad as people make it. There's technical jank here and there but what happens is genuinely interesting, and you really do get the whole spy thing going on. That's cool. I would almost say I like the game UNTIL i reached the ending. In a one minute or so cutscene, two things happened. Bad guy got punched in the face, good guys ride off into the sunset. No, seriously, that's it. What the fuck was I even expecting?

These are two endings I absolutely cannot tell you how much I was disappointed by. After these two games I learnt not to expect jackshit from the endings. Just walk away and say "fuck this shit", at least we were in for the ride. Do you even remember Bioware's very own KOTOR? It ended with everyone congratulating the heroes and that's it. Still hailed as one of the best RPGs of all-time.

If every developer had to cater to the fanboy's vision, games would never be released. Focus testing to make sure absolutely EVERY fan is satisfied. Thing is you can't satisfy everyone. No one can. And why does Bioware have to suffer through this? People hate George Lucas to death for the crimes against humanity, the prequel trilogy. It's not like he came out and said he was going to remake the prequels or anything. Oh wait he did. By making them 3-D.

"And then I said you could develop intimate relationships with the hairy balls... LOL"

I wonder how Peter Molyneux would have to shut his lousy mouth forever if he knew he would have to rework every single feature in the games he promised to deliver. Obsidian having to remake KOTOR 2. Bethesda having to rebuild Fallout 3 Van Buren. 3D Realms having to make DNF "good". Activision having to... fuck it.

Business is business. Creativity is creativity. If that's how the creators envisioned it, so be it. If deadlines and budgets are fucked up and the team has to rush out a product, too bad. If we the consumer/fans chose to support the developers who spent months of very very hard work in their "baby", suck up the shitty parts and move on. No company needs to bend over to the masses and let us ass rape them.

Jedi mind-tricking us into buying his games since 1991. Oh, he's also director of Coca-Cola. Fun fact of the day.
Jedi mind-tricking us into buying his games since 1991. Oh, he's also director of Coca-Cola. Fun fact of the day.

Just how irrational and passionate about the wrong things this generation is? The part where I totally lost faith in humanity is when EA was voted worst company in the U.S. Three letters: W.T.F. No. NO. How could an entertainment company upset us more than a company that led to financial crises and screwing people's lives over? What kind of generation do we live in? Yes, vote with the dollar, and yet we, the ones who are living comfortable lives, are valuing this "dollar" we spent more than the lives of those who are less fortunate. We spend more time complaining about the entertainment products we get than talking about the unequal socio-political world we live in. We stand together as consumers to force hard working people to work harder on non-necisities to meet our own expectations, and NOT instead standing together to say, abolish child labour, go support the Occupy Wallstreet movement, push for social change. Entertainment and consumerism, people, welcome to the motherfucking 21st century.

Maybe EA's only funding Bioware to put out free content just to save its reputation. Maybe I would rant on and on about ME3's ending as much as the fanboys did after I finished the game. But please, please don't take this for granted. We should not make this an example of positive social movement because there are more things that are much much more important than our amusement that we need to push forward, and yet we have not. EA isn't even an evil corporate bent on overworking its employees and taking over the world. It's a victory for the masses, it's great that we're getting a new ending. However, if only it were not just an entertainment thing we are changing. If only one day we would be able to put the same amount of passion we have now for a video game into forcing positive social change as well. If only one day, corporates and governments would do the same with what EA/Bioware had done with Mass Effect 3's ending. The world would fucking explode in awesome. In the meantime...

Thank you Bioware, we appreciate your good will.


Gamers and fans