I picked up Heroes of Might and Magic VI (which is now apparently called Might and Magic Heroes VI, but herewith will be called HOMM6) on a super sale and I've been playing through the campaigns. HOMM6 has some of the best scripted campaigns I've seen in the franchise and I've gotten huge enjoyment out of playing through the story as well as the scenarios themselves. I think my favourite story moment was Antastasia's fury upon learning that Michael the Archangel had seduced her because he wanted her body to house the soul of the woman he truly loved... his mother. But Kiril's desire to live out his days alternating between his angel and succubus lovers was also quite amusing, as was Irena's resigned but eager violence (she reminded me a lot of Babylon 5's Ivanova).

But now I'm on the last scenario of the last campaign and I can barely bring myself to load the game. I'm bored. Why? Here's a breakdown to try and work out where the fun went.

Sandor's Story is Not his Own

The five main campaigns in HOMM6 follow the five children of Duke Slava, who each end up following a different path and leading a different faction. The fifth child, Sandor, is the main character of the last campaign although he does cameo in most of the previous campaigns.So for the sake of continuity most of Sandor's campaign rehashes what has already happened previously. His campaign actually reminds me of an episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journey (don't judge me) where Herc and Iolaus are walking through some big long cave and recount previous adventures to each other to pass the time.

Hey Sandor, remember when you saved your sister Irena from her rapey husband? Hey Sandor, remember when you met your sister Anastasia and she was undead? Hey Sandor, remember when your orc bro Kraal was buddies with your dad? Hey Sandor, remember that one time at band camp? Hey Sandor...

Very little of what happens to Sandor is new. I think this is part of why is campaign is so tedious, especially when contrasted with the rest of the game.

This is Sandor gone full-orc. He assures me the tassels he's attached to his loincloth are not compensating for anything. I'm not so sure about the shoulder pads.Might is Right Boring

I've never liked the might based factions in HOMM. They always seemed... dull. Especially in HOMM3, when they couldn't use magic at all. I can't remember in later versions, probably because I didn't play the faction at all.

There's something exciting about engaging in combat with a magic hero. There's some spells that can make a magic hero almost invincible, even when your army is greatly outnumbered. Especially some of the necromancer spells, where you can use the dead from both sides to reinforce your army. Who cares when your troops die when their bodies only contribute your impending surprise victory?

Might, however is just statistics. Can I defeat the enemy army in fewer hits than it will take them to defeat me? If yes, attack. If no, don't attack. There's no real challenge.

At least in HOMM6 Stronghold (might) heroes can learn and use magic. But Sandor starts as a might hero, and you gotta work with what you're given. I confess, given my dislike of might factions, I started Sandor's campaign with quite a bit of apathy.

This is what Sandor has gotta work with: a zebra-Katniss and a goblin that periodically gnaws on his own weapon and spits out the broken teeth.Sandor's Scenarios are Very Easy

Stronghold scenarios suffer from the old maxim "when the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail." Stronghold heroes hit things. A lot. But I've covered that.

But the maps themselves in Sandor's campaign are exceedingly easy, especially it's the last campaign before the final one. There's often lots of islands, so there's lots of water. That means boating and collecting floating driftwood and treasure chests that give you lots of resources, so your army is always ridiculously well funded. For the majority of Sandor's maps my army was so large most enemy armies fled at the sight of us... a nice stroke of the ego, yes, but not very interesting when it comes to gameplay.

And then there was the third scenario, The Barbarous Seven, where to win you must "protect your city". Okay, fine. What does that mean? I had to hit up a walkthrough to find out, because I'd cleared the map and won every other condition but the game wouldn't end. Turns out "protect your city" meant waiting until the computer had thrown all its pathetic, puny AI enemy heroes at your town. With nothing left on the map to do I has to sit and wait. And wait. Not really a satisfying victory.

And then there's the final map, which I am currently playing, where the win condition is to get 500 crystals. Once again, there's a huge amount of resources, pitiful enemies, and a stupid goal. But 500 crystals is a hella lot of crystals. I've spent hours playing so far, clicking on enemies that run away without combat, collecting resources. It's all so very... Farmville.

Sandor is Unlucky Last

I think Sandor's campaign suffers from being the last of the faction-based ones. All the interesting story and gameplay has already been introduced and Slava is left as a recap to it all. But that said, the scenarios in the campaign are pretty poorly designed and far too easy for this far into the game. So there's no story to bolster the gameplay, and no gameplay to support the story. Sandor looses out all 'round. Even when it comes to personality.

Sandor sporadically adopts the "me Tarzan, you Jane" style of orc speech. It's not exactly... gripping.